Hi Lima, I hope it is ok if I chime in here. I have been vegan only four years, not that long term, but I have been very successful and love being vegan for many reasons. I have a long history of anorexia nervosa and binge/purge tendencies also and battled that for years before becoming vegan. Becoming vegan for me was never about restriction or part of my ED, except that at the time I became vegan I had been exploring issues of world hunger, having come into a period of recovery and wanting to look beyond my own struggles, and that brought me to veganism and ethics. I have been able to gain over 22 lbs as a vegan and get to a normal healthy weight for my height, age, and body. In fact I came much further in recovery as a vegan than the many years I was extremely underweight and sick as an omnivore. I too went through eating disorder treatments and used to see a dietician that specializes in eating disorders, even vegetarianism, and none of that helped. I had to be ready in my own way and on my own time. That is not to give veganism credit for my recovery because as I said my ED is mostly separate. I came further in recovery because I was and am at a point in my recovery that I was ready to move past the point where I was stuck for years in fear. I also have severe osteoporosis that worsened according to my fourth DEXA scan I had last year and it pushed me to really go from safe middle ground to a healthier and better place. It was very hard and I still struggle with accepting where I am now. But I also feel stronger and have made accomplishments in the last year I only dreamed of for many years. I finally finished school at the age of 42 and earned a certification and full time job.
I have been relatively healthy as a vegan with the exception of my osteoporosis, but that is something I had for many years before becoming vegan. It worsened from being underweight for too many years, and from losing my ovaries at the age of 33 in 2005 (this is what set off my ED because surgical menopause was so traumatic for me). I was worried that as a vegan maybe I wasn't getting enough bone building foods in my diet, and also because of restriction of food intake in general. I have worked very hard to include more calcium and other bone building foods in my diet regularly. It also meant I had to eat more to meet my needs.
I too had a hard time giving up yogurt. I could not tolerate dairy as an omnivore and already avoided it for years because it made me sick. That trait runs in my family. But Greek yogurt, plain, I could handle and I used to eat that daily. In fact as an omnivore I loved it because I could get loads of protein and calcium for only a few calories. Vegan yogurt doesn't do much for me either, is too sweet and runny. What I discovered that I love is tofu pudding. I will crumble some extra firm or silken tofu in a blender, add a banana, some cocoa powder, a pinch of salt and a sweetener, just a pinch, like maple syrup or turbinado sugar. I blend until creamy. It is very thick, not too sweet, and has a texture similar to Greek yogurt. I love creamy things and this does it for me. I haven't tried it, but there is a vanilla version without the cocoa powder too. I used to do a lot of thick smoothies in the early vegan days to get that creamy texture of something. Dense fruits like melon, peaches, cantaloupe, bananas, all make smoothies creamy and rich. I would also include protein powder and leafy greens like collards or kale for the extra calcium, and maybe a splash of plant milk. I haven't craved Greek yogurt in years now.
For eggs, I make chickpea flour omelets and fold stuff like nutritional yeast "cheese" sauce, salsa, bell peppers, onion, and spinach or tomatoes inside. For "egg salad" sandwiches, I mash chickpeas and celery in a bowl, then add my own homemade vegan mayo (blended almonds, turmeric, full fat coconut milk from can, pinch of sweetener, maybe some garlic or onion powder or even dijon) and have this mix in a sandwich. Or have scrambled potatoes and chickpeas with veggies and spices for "scrambled eggs."
I gained weight eating more recipes with avocado, nuts and seeds, peanut butter and banana sandwiches, coconut dishes, smoothies packed with chia seeds, lots of bananas and other fruits, protein powders, homemade mayo in various dishes, pastas with bean/tomato sauce mixes. I made lots of homemade whole wheat seeded breads. Adding vital wheat gluten in those makes them even richer and more dense in texture and nutrition, as well as adding ground flaxseed. I allowed myself to enjoy occasional homemade desserts, and I ate six small but dense meals per day. Sometimes that meant eating cliff bars and bananas if I was up to my head in studies and no time to cook. Admittedly, some of my weight gain was from reactive bingeing from years of restriction. I am very active and I was studying hard in school and working and my body was screaming for nourishment and I got to a point where I just allowed the binges to happen without compensation because I knew my body needed it. Eventually they tapered down and now they rarely ever happen. I think my body trusts me more and my hormone levels (gherlin, leptin, thyroid etc) are healthier because I have consistently eaten more. I am still cautious and careful and sometimes strict about what I allow into my body, but I have no choice but to eat enough to at least maintain because I started a new job that is VERY challenging and requires my absolute attention. I can't restrict the way I used to. The mental stuff is still a challenge at times. I still battle with dealing with the trauma that set off my ED to begin with, and social anxiety. I have been through years of therapy. Right now I am going to a free mental health support group on Monday nights. it is for all types of mental illness, but they are very accepting of my issues and the people there have been incredibly supportive and helpful. Real time help like that is so important for me.
I think there are many reasons why people leave veganism. There are also many people who stay vegan and live happily this way. I think it is possible even with an ED or some other health problem. We just need to take care of ourselves and be mindful of our specific needs as vegans. I used to think veganism was too extreme when I knew next to nothing about it. Now I see that it is nowhere near extreme. It feels so natural to me now, so automatic and I still embrace the many facets of veganism. I am never bored with the variety of plant foods available to me. I am fortunate to make a good living now. I also love to cook so perhaps it has been easier for me in that regard too. If you struggle with food dislikes, allergies, restrictions etc it would be harder but still not impossible.
Anyway, I am rambling now, but I just wanted to post because I can relate to some of your struggles. If it is any consolation or help, the founder of the vegan movement in England, Donald Watson, lived over three or four decades as a vegan and died in his nineties. Dr. Kellog, in the 1800s was a long term vegetarian and lived into his nineties also with few health problems.
