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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Well, this came up to me today when I had a Raspberry vinagrette dressing served on a platter of veggies, along with ranch for the omnis at the party I was at earlier. Well, someone had the bright idea to use a FORK to serve ranch. Lots of ranch dripped into my vinagrette. I had to move the spoon around it to get my dressing. All I kept thinking was, "f***ing omnis..." Then I realized, that they had no clue! And I felt horrible., because I only know 4 veggies of all the people I know. And I know they're not stupid...<br><br><br><br>
But it was stupid to use a fork to serve ranch.. I mean... WHY? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/huh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":confused:"><br><br><br><br>
So, yeah. At the party, all I had was stuff from my veggie platter, and strawberries. No one questioned it though.<br><br><br><br>
So yeah, I know some of you guys have horrible thoughts! Everyone does; do tell!
 

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me too! (glad you were too chicken i mean)<br><br><br><br>
hmm well i considered printing up a few stickers to slap on the door at my old job and possibly on the manager's car bumper, saying something like "we like to rip off our customers" and "i steal from the cash and blame my employees"<br><br><br><br>
sweet sweet vengence. but she'd know it was me though i know she could never really prove it. either way i decided not to actually do it
 

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once i was a little drunk and went through the parking lot of the bar i work at with a coworker of mine and we slapped notes on peoples cars. Bad notes like, you suck, you drink too much, where did you learn to park? my friend even wrote out a note saying, I just thought you should know there is a driver's ed class at the high school this week, they are teaching parking. People had parked so poorly a lot of people were pinned in. So i guess that wasnt a bad thought but it was an action that couldnt have been good for my karma.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Life, I wouldn't call it "chicken" to not follow through on suicidal thoughts. You hadn't hit the bottom of the well of despair, and that's a very good thing.
 

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Probably my thoughts at the last orchestra concert we had. Basically the same as Life's. I was sitting outside the highschool in the cold, with my black & white clothes on, holding my viola, and waiting for my mom to pick me up. I had a flash of how great it would be to just shoot myself right there... everyone had left, and my mom would come to see my bloody body on the ground with my viola over me. Unfortunately (or fortunately), I did not have a gun, nor do I have any idea where I'd get one. If I'd have carried one, I probably would have done it, too. *hides from sucidal thought critics*
 

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I'm not going to criticize your considering suicide Meo. I've done the same thing when I was about your age. Quite a few times actually.<br><br><br><br>
I have to say that it was very fortunate that you didn't have a gun with you. Even with what little I know of you I can tell that there's something wonderful about you.<br><br><br><br>
And Life, I have to agree with mouse. There's nothing 'chicken' at all about not commiting suicide.
 

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i had a handful of suicidal thoughts when i was 'babysitting' the alcoholic i was with. i'm not going to go into detail cause it was pretty scary, and i had come close to doing it a couple times.<br><br><br><br>
around the same exact time i was feeling this crap, my friend killed herself. that made me realize i could never hurt my family or friends like that. it was a complete turn around for me and i've never had those thoughts since. the only person in my family i told about the suicidal thoughts in my head was my sister. i really though, at that point in my life would have been much happier dead.<br><br><br><br>
other thoughts - i wont lie, i know a few people who i wish were never brought into this world.<br><br><br><br>
actions- eh, some not so nice things i subtly did to ex roommates, heh. i was happy to crush their egos.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Meo, I know from reading some of your posts that you are an unusually mature and sensitive person. Adolescence is a horrible time, and it's particularly hard on people like you. When you're in the middle of feeling horrible, try to remember that you will NOT always feel that way, that there will be many times in your life when you will be very, very happy, and that many of us have gone through the same thing, have had similar thoughts. Also know that you can always talk to us here at VB, either by posting, or by pm.
 

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I tried it once, last decade sometime..... took a handful of pills and gulped down quite a lot of red wine.<br><br>
But what happened was I sat there laughing at nothing for about two hours, then broke down and cried and fell asleep. I woke up four hours later feeling unbelievably crappy.<br><br>
During those first two hours I wrote a long note too (many pages)..... I typed it in and put it online a few years ago, but you don't get the full affect due to the handwriting (it's bad at the best of times). But it can freak me out when I read it (I think it's offline at the moment).
 

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Hey I'm all for people's right to kill themselves, but the way you describe it, you didn't want to do it for you, but to hurt your mom. That's a stupid thing IMO. I don't think there is something more personal than suicide, so if I kill myself I'll make sure the reason is ME, because I want it and not to punish or hurt someone. Remember, you're DEAD so you won't reap any 'benefits' of your action later.<br><br><br><br>
My selfish $0.02<br><br><br><br><br><br>
Then again, next time you can post here and we'll cheer you up! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br><br><br><br><br>
p.s. my most horrific thoughts were hatred towards persons close to me b/c of banal reasons. Never again do I want to go there.
 

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Like Meo and Life posted - sucidal ones. It was inhigh school when I went through a few years of depression which got pretty bad after a traumatic experience at the end of grade 11. I'm just glad that I managed to overcome my fears and the experience, even if it does still affect me almost everyday.<br><br><br><br>
Had horrible murderous thoughts. Even now I don't regret them. These people in my mind do not deserve to live. There's only two of them, both people whom I've known. I wish them both death.<br><br>
Horrible I know. Especially coming from me, since I'm a big human rights person, but still....<br><br><br><br>
I had cravings for gummi bears and I was so tempted to just eat them, but I didn't. Go my will power <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D">
 

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you nearly commited suicide? I've always thought of you as a cheerful perosn, life. I honestly can't imagine you commiting suicide.<br><br><br><br>
Though to be honest, when you get really pissed off, and think "I want to kill someone" and actually do think of killing them for a split second before you actually realise that you are human, and that as too are they, it doesn't make me feel too good. Of course I'd never kill osmeone. But i get pissed off quite a bit, and the thought has crossed my mind, though never for more than a split second. But it's kinda awful how you actually do think of such things.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Ill make mine brief<br><br>
probably suicidal thoughts.. thought heaps, tried twice, suceeded nonce.<br><br><br><br><span style="color:#FFA500;">Danny</span>
 

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My worst thoughts I will never post, as they were thought by someone who no longer lives inside my head. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"> But up there was the thought that I hated my mother, this is when I was a depressed 15 year old... of course I don't, I love my mother.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
I feel bad now. THis thread wasn't made the the intent to bring things this depressing up. I think I meant it, more for humor value. I'm sorry.<br><br><br><br>
But yes, I am sure most people have thought about suicide. It took me awhile to actually be comfortable with myself, and I'm still not. It's not like anyone knows- so here I am telling a bunch of people on the internet. *shrug*
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
FafaFrappy, there's no need for you to feel bad, or to apologize. Knowing that other people have had/ do have the same thoughts can be very comforting.<br><br><br><br>
I seriously wanted to kill someone once. The experience taught me a lot about the corrosive power of hate on one's own soul.
 

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Hate within the self, whether hate for yourself or for someone else is harmful.<br><br><br><br>
I've been depressed at times, and I can understand a few people. I often think how much easier it would be if I didn't exist, but whenever this happens, I just think about the good things, even if the sun doesn't want to shine on me right now. And for personal uplifting wherever I need it, I keep an uplifting poem (The world is a beautiful place, by Lawrence Ferlinghetti) in my wallet, so whenever I have bad thoughts i can always think of what's good. It works for me anyway.
 
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