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I've been a vegetarian for years and I know how to eat in a healthy way, but I keep falling back into binging and starving. I started starving at the age of 11 for some stupid reason and during my adult life, I've gone back and forth from as low as 85 to as high as almost 300, over and over.

I love my vegetarian lifestyle but I don't know why I do this starving and binging. Right now I've been gaining again from eating too much. I'm sure it's all in my head, but whenever I bring this up to a therapist, they look at the silver in my hair and blow me off.

I over-eat at night, and it doesn't matter if I've eaten a lot or a little during the day. I get plenty of protein and lots of fresh produce and healthy fats. It's just that I binge and binge.

I was looking so good last year, then I started to pig out. I've ruined my body and I look like a monster.

I can't bring this up to a doctor because the instant they find out I'm a vegetarian, they tell me I am missing protein or iron(blood workups say I am not) and tell me to eat meat.

I know this is my own fault, but I was wondering if anyone here can help me understand why I keep doing this. I'm getting too old to be acting like this and I'm really becoming afraid.
 

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why don't you check out mcdougall's diet? google dr. mcdougall. this is starch based with no portion control. just eat what's on the diet (no animal products, no oils or fats) and eat whenever you are hungry. i don't think you're going to be able to understand it, per se, without spending a lot of money on therapy. but why not bullet proof yourself so you don't have to worry about it? it's virtually impossible to get fat on this diet. as long as you don't buy things not on the diet, you won't have problems.

i am terrible about binge eating, since i don't sleep normally because of my job. this has been a real godsend, since my binge eating doesn't result in weight gain.
 

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boki, I am not an expert on eating disorders, but there is a whole thread dedicated to that issue on here. Unless you get to the root of the problem, like any addiction, you will continue to engage in the same self destructive behaviors. You need to find out what's motivating yourself to do it, address it, and then process it/ move on with healthy choices. That's very simplistic, I know, but the principals are still the same, since I'm familiar with treating drug/alcohol addiciton.

You don't have to answer the question on here, but to yourself, anwer "what is the cause of my binging?" Is it low self esteem, dealing with trauma, abusive relationship, lonliness/abandonment issues, other addictions, self loathing........you said you've seen a therapist? Are you currently? It sounds like you need to actualy be in treatment now, since you are actively engaging in eating disorder behavior.

Wish you luck in finding a good doctor that will listen to you, but you really need to find someone you can trust, and isn't going to shove meat at you. There are plenty of people on here that can identify with you though. You're not alone
 

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Boki, I am also no expert in eating disorders, but have you looked at this website:

http://www.something-fishy.org/

It's a great resource and they also have message boards that I've found very helpful in times of crisis (I'm a compulsive eater, though I haven't been in the binge/diet pattern now for roughly eight months).

Tam
 

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hating the image in the mirror or having a distorted self image can really drag you down.

i would suggest you go for CBT Therapy which helps you move forward.

In the end is not about the food. You have to get to the core of the problem to what is driving you to over-eat or under-eat. The Strive for perfection is also not good. We try to control our food cause we dont feel lin control in our lives or we deal with the physical pain instead of the emotional pain.

Please keep posting here.
 
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