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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
is getting back together with an x really a good idea?

he is an x for a reason isnt he?

have any of you ever gotten back with an x and managed a successful 2nd,3rd, or 4th go at it?

just wondering
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
too bad


thats okay if anything i should be single for a bit anyway. we'll see.

you are funny, who was he?
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
oh!!! hahahha
 

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I wasted four years on an Ex. Then again, I learned a lot about myself. I may be a fast learner when it comes to knowledge, but I'm a tortoise when it comes to matters of the heart.
 

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I have a rule- Don't go back with an x until you have made some serious attempts at new people. New people help you put things in perspective (provided you are not still in the midst of serious heartbreak) thus, I have never gotten back together with the old.

The important question is, why did you break up?

Why should things be different this time?

Are you willing to accept things if they are exactly the same as before?
 

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Nope, not a good idea. Unless you have both matured, changed and in other ways fixed the problems that each of you had...and can fix the problems you had together.

That usually is not the case...usually the two X's just have REALLY STRONG FEELINGS (I have really strong feelings about two of my X's...my X husband and another X from years ago...that's because I really did love both these people). However, loving someone and being right for someone are two different things.

Many of us who are older have realized this through lots of pain and much mistake making.

B
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
dont feel bad michael, he even swipes my boyfriends but he's a gem.

well we broke up b/c i was feeling trapped and he was a bit clingy and jealous but my logic in this is that i just felt that way b/c i wasnt quite read for a relationship at that point in time. anyway good Q's thalia i will think on that some for sure.
 

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i broke up and got back to together with a guy about 4 times once. to be as to the point as possible, it hurt just as much the 4th time as it did the first time.
 

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I had a friend of mine describe going back with an X (and, believe it or not, you will probably break up and go back with this person more than once, if you choose to try again) like this (which I love):

Going back with an X is like two players on opposing football teams thinking that the game isn't over. They go back out on the field to continue to play, even though the lights are off and everyone else has gone home....what's the point? Been there, done that, don't need to do it again.

Of course, easier said than done.

There is one thing that I have learned, and, perhaps you can take some of this to heart: if something causes you pain or suffering, it is YOUR choice to continue to experience those feelings. If something was wonderful in the relationship with your X, learn that that is what you desire BUT if there were things that you didn't like, it is best to leave it alone. People really don't change much.

Good Luck.
 
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