[Jennifer C]

I went vegan this summer. My son, raised vegetarian since birth is just dandy with most vegan foods which is a blessing because he's ULTRA picky about food and will honestly eat the same old stuff every day if you let him. He's fine not eating eggs and he loves alternative milks to drink or on cereal, etc.

However, two foods he likes include tostadas with cheese and cows milk yogurt. Before I went vegan I was buying cheese anyhow for the whole house, and though I hate yogurt I was buying it for my son. Now though I feel weird buying it but Cedar (my son) hates vegan cheese as much as I do and has tried tons of soy yogurt brands and has not found one he likes.

Basically, though I told him about dairy issues and why I decided to go vegan, he's not very down with cutting out these two products - a little cheese each week and a couple of cartons of yogurt.

He's 11 now, almost 12 and I'm really into letting him make choices on his own so I'm reluctant to ban food. I'm wondering if anyone else is dealing with a kid who is into a food they're not into and how you're dealing with it at your house.

 

[vegantoo]

Kids go through phases with food. When I was 6, I probably would have told you that my favorite food was Cap 'N Crunch and if my mother had told me that I couldn't have it anymore because she'd gone vegan, I would have been super sad, yet I soon quit the stuff on my own. Your son might quit on his own, too.

If I had an eleven year old who wanted to eat meat or dairy (which I see as ethically the same) I would probably let them continue, but I wouldn't encourage it, or make it easy, hoping that the child would forget about it. Without saying, "I bought you this instead of yogurt" I would just buy delicious vegan foods that he likes on a regular basis, hoping that he'd forget about his old favorites, but if he remembered and asked for it, I would provide it, because that's how you've raised him up to this point. And I wouldn't try to make him feel guilty or anything like that.

I watched a 10 year old kid go through such sadness, when his parents took on a new religion. Things he used to be able to do and have were forbidden. I think it's unfair to children, to change midstream like that.

 

[Jennifer C]

Quote:

Originally Posted by vegantoo

Kids go through phases with food. When I was 6, I probably would have told you that my favorite food was Cap 'N Crunch and if my mother had told me that I couldn't have it anymore because she'd gone vegan, I would have been super sad, yet I soon quit the stuff on my own. Your son might quit on his own, too.

If I had an eleven year old who wanted to eat meat or dairy (which I see as ethically the same) I would probably let them continue, but I wouldn't encourage it, or make it easy, hoping that the child would forget about it. Without saying, "I bought you this instead of yogurt" I would just buy delicious vegan foods that he likes on a regular basis, hoping that he'd forget about his old favorites, but if he remembered and asked for it, I would provide it, because that's how you've raised him up to this point. And I wouldn't try to make him feel guilty or anything like that.

I watched a 10 year old kid go through such sadness, when his parents took on a new religion. Things he used to be able to do and have were forbidden. I think it's unfair to children, to change midstream like that.

Is Cap N Crunch not vegan?! I loved that junk when I was 8 or 9, then didn't have it for years and I tried it again when I was 20 or something and thought, "What was I thinking! This stuff is so gross."

The bold part is my issue. I have tried to buy him versions of cheese and yogurt he might like, and in fact we've tried to go vegan before so soy cheese and yogurt is nothing new to him, but he's never liked those two vegan items. He does ask for cheese tostadas and "real" yogurt so the best I can do is stick to hormone free organics, but that's no compromise so far as AR, which I'm not obsessed with, but am on board with.

I don't think it's very fair to change stuff up midstream either, if the other person really likes something and hasn't made a decision to stop eating it. But it's weird to be in this situation. Cedar's always been pretty "go-along" with what I eat so long as it's boring and not extreme. I get his cheese issue, because I can't stand vegan cheese, but I'm ok going without and he doesn't seem to be. On the other hand I can't believe that I can't find an organic soy yogurt he'll eat. Especially considering how much he likes soy milks. He says the textures of the soy yogurts are, "all wrong."

 

[ElaineV]

I would make a compromise. I wouldn't ban the nonvegan food outright but I'd hold a firm line about what is and what is not acceptable . At age 11 it would be something like "vegan at home, vegetarian when out" or "you can use your allowance to buy the nonvegans foods you want".

Also, I don't think you should give up on vegan cheese just yet. There are tons of different brands, styles, and recipes to try. Just for starters there are these brands that each have a variety of styles/flavors: Daiya, Vegan Gourmet, Teese, Dr. Cow, We Can't Say It's Cheese, VegCuisine, and then there are these cookbooks: Ultimate Uncheese Cookbook, Artisan Vegan Cheese, and more.

Also, in regards to yogurts there are also yogurts made from almond milk and coconut milk so if you've tried all the soy varieties and don't like those you might want to check out the others.

 

[Jennifer C]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElaineV

I would make a compromise. I wouldn't ban the nonvegan food outright but I'd hold a firm line about what is and what is not acceptable . At age 11 it would be something like "vegan at home, vegetarian when out" or "you can use your allowance to buy the nonvegans foods you want".

Have you done this? How did it go over?

Thanks for the tips about almond milk yogurt. Cedar's not a coconut fan do I doubt coconut milk yogurt would fly, and I haven't seen almond milk yogurt at my regular store, but I'll check Whole Foods.

The cheese is harder. We've tried so many brands it makes my head spin and we've disliked them all. I'm totally fine at this point going sans cheese, but not him it seems. I'll double check at Whole Foods though. You never know, maybe I missed a brand. What's funny is that the vegetarian and two meat eaters at my house really like all the vegan cheese we've tried. Just not my son and me. That's crazy!

 

[LedBoots]

Quote:

Originally Posted by vegantoo

Kids go through phases with food. When I was 6, I probably would have told you that my favorite food was Cap 'N Crunch and if my mother had told me that I couldn't have it anymore because she'd gone vegan, I would have been super sad, yet I soon quit the stuff on my own. Your son might quit on his own, too.

If I had an eleven year old who wanted to eat meat or dairy (which I see as ethically the same) I would probably let them continue, but I wouldn't encourage it, or make it easy, hoping that the child would forget about it. Without saying, "I bought you this instead of yogurt" I would just buy delicious vegan foods that he likes on a regular basis, hoping that he'd forget about his old favorites, but if he remembered and asked for it, I would provide it, because that's how you've raised him up to this point. And I wouldn't try to make him feel guilty or anything like that.

I watched a 10 year old kid go through such sadness, when his parents took on a new religion. Things he used to be able to do and have were forbidden. I think it's unfair to children, to change midstream like that.

I agree with this approach. Eleven is an age fraught with transition and change anyway, and if he is denied yogurt and a little cheese, he may just rebel and purposely eat burgers at friends' houses. Or just be really annoyed by the whole thing. My now 19- year old son was positively ravenous at puberty and for the next few years, and so were his friends who eat here often.

I haven't found a yogurt that mimics the texture of the dairy kind, either. Recently I had one yogurt that was half coconut milk, half almond milk that was pretty good, but very sweet, no tang. I forget the brand, I found it at Whole Foods.

 

[zirpkatze]

have you tried whole soy yogurt? it's the only one i found that had good texture. even my non-veg dad eats it now as opposed to dairy yogurt.
considering that you raised him on those foods and that he's pretty good about trying new stuff and eating vegan, i wouldn't ban cheese or yogurt. i'd try to find other unrelated things that he could eat instead and will grow to like just as much

 

[Jennifer C]

Quote:

Originally Posted by zirpkatze

have you tried whole soy yogurt? it's the only one i found that had good texture. even my non-veg dad eats it now as opposed to dairy yogurt.
considering that you raised him on those foods and that he's pretty good about trying new stuff and eating vegan, i wouldn't ban cheese or yogurt. i'd try to find other unrelated things that he could eat instead and will grow to like just as much

I've bought him Whole Soy on and off again over the last few years. He doesn't like it. Not being a yogurt fan myself it's hard to tell what exactly he doesn't like about it, because I think all yogurt tastes icky, unless I cover it with cereal. I don't like creamy dairy type texture stuff - yogurt, cottage cheese, sour cream (vegan or not). His favorite yogurt is Trader Joes and Stoneyfield organic.

I'm considering trying to make some homemade with soy milk. He likes homemade projects, so that might go over okay. IF I can figure it out.

 

[Jennifer C]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LedBoots

I agree with this approach. Eleven is an age fraught with transition and change anyway, and if he is denied yogurt and a little cheese, he may just rebel and purposely eat burgers at friends' houses. Or just be really annoyed by the whole thing. My now 19- year old son was positively ravenous at puberty and for the next few years, and so were his friends who eat here often.
I haven't found a yogurt that mimics the texture of the dairy kind, either. Recently I had one yogurt that was half coconut milk, half almond milk that was pretty good, but very sweet, no tang. I forget the brand, I found it at Whole Foods.

Ha, him eating burgers to rebel would be hilarious. He's dead against cow meat. To him that's the worst idea ever - he thinks they make pepperoni by chopping cow legs up! I DID NOT tell him that either, he's just always thought red meat was weird. I don't think he's ever even tasted red meat or pork at anyone's house. BUT I don't want him to go that route either.

I keep waiting for him to become a ravenous boy - everyone says it'll happen, but he eats super tiny portions of food. One day...

I'm going to check Whole Foods the next time I'm there and just let him pick a few kinds we haven't tried.

 

[ElaineV]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennifer C

Have you done this? How did it go over?

No, not really. I imagine your situation is particularly difficult since you've just recently gone vegan.

Another thing I think is always a good idea - visit a farmed animal sanctuary and meet some animals. Usually the tour guides will go into detail about the animals' histories and that can sometimes stick with a person in a way that no other form of vegan education will.

 

[Jennifer C]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElaineV

No, not really. I imagine your situation is particularly difficult since you've just recently gone vegan.

Another thing I think is always a good idea - visit a farmed animal sanctuary and meet some animals. Usually the tour guides will go into detail about the animals' histories and that can sometimes stick with a person in a way that no other form of vegan education will.

I've been thinking of taking Cedar to one of these for a long while now. I've been way too lazy about it, because most of the ones that look good are about an hour and a half away but I really need to get on the ball.

I'd like to take all the kids (my partners daughters and Cedar) to this one http://www.lighthousefarmsanctuary.org/index.html or this one http://www.outtopasturesanctuary.org/. The pumpkin patch we usually go to has recently converted to a sanctuary too, but it's a weird one because it's more exotic animals which really doesn't relate.

 

[1vegforlife]

Quote:

Originally Posted by vegantoo

Kids go through phases with food. When I was 6, I probably would have told you that my favorite food was Cap 'N Crunch and if my mother had told me that I couldn't have it anymore because she'd gone vegan, I would have been super sad, yet I soon quit the stuff on my own. Your son might quit on his own, too.

If I had an eleven year old who wanted to eat meat or dairy (which I see as ethically the same) I would probably let them continue, but I wouldn't encourage it, or make it easy, hoping that the child would forget about it. Without saying, "I bought you this instead of yogurt" I would just buy delicious vegan foods that he likes on a regular basis, hoping that he'd forget about his old favorites, but if he remembered and asked for it, I would provide it, because that's how you've raised him up to this point. And I wouldn't try to make him feel guilty or anything like that.

I watched a 10 year old kid go through such sadness, when his parents took on a new religion. Things he used to be able to do and have were forbidden. I think it's unfair to children, to change midstream like that.

This is what I am going through with my 13 year old and 7 year old. I chose to go vegan, but I understand that I have raised them on a meat and dairy and I don't expect them to change overnight. I would prefer they be vegan, but I am okay with them being vegetarian for now, because I understand that it is a transition for them and I want to be fair. I hope that by leading by example and bringing vegan foods in the house for them to try that they will eventually go vegan. I feel weird cooking them meat. I just can't do it anymore, knowing what I know about what the animals go through, so I explained to the 13 year old that if she wants to eat meat outside the house, that is fine, but I wont be cooking it as often and eventually not at all. I don't want to make it too easy for her!

 

[4everaspirit]

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1vegforlife

This is what I am going through with my 13 year old and 7 year old. I chose to go vegan, but I understand that I have raised them on a meat and dairy and I don't expect them to change overnight. I would prefer they be vegan, but I am okay with them being vegetarian for now, because I understand that it is a transition for them and I want to be fair. I hope that by leading by example and bringing vegan foods in the house for them to try that they will eventually go vegan. I feel weird cooking them meat. I just can't do it anymore, knowing what I know about what the animals go through, so I explained to the 13 year old that if she wants to eat meat outside the house, that is fine, but I wont be cooking it as often and eventually not at all. I don't want to make it too easy for her!

Maybe you should watch videos together with them!! So they can better understand what this is all about.

You guys might like to watch the movie Vegucated together. Watch it on netflix or itunes. These kids will likely feel empathy once they get a better understanding of what you have seen and know.

 

[Joan Kennedy]

Jennifer, I still remember how hard it was to be Cedar's age. Psychoanalysts say the hardest part of getting through childhood and adolescence is parental domination. Worse than body changes and peer pressure combined. Having someone else controlling things we fervently believe should be ours to control. Adults choose our schools for us and our religion and if they want to move, we have to move. They tell us what we can and can't wear and which of our friends they do and don't approve of, and which activities they'll support us taking up -- or make us take up -- and a million other things that just feel screamingly unjust. Food control can really be the last freaking straw, especially if they keep changing the rules.

One thing you can try is making soy yogurt, not for Cedar but with him. That lets him experiment with using more or less lemon juice and trying different brands of soymilk, varying how much thickener to add, etc. There are many recipes for it online.

http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/2007/01/making-soy-yogurt.html

He can microadjust the ingredients with different batches until he's happy with the mouthfeel and the taste.You're pretty sure to wind up with more fruit and less sugar than in any cartons you buy, which is maybe the best reason of all to try making it. And for Cedar, even before he gets it perfect, he'll trust it as wholesome food and not gross food, because he knows the process and he put it together himself. The fruit will cover a lot of imperfections, too. My son was pretty leery about eating my seitan "Italian Sausage" until he helped me put together a batch of it. The process made him more of a participant and a stakeholder in the final product.

 

[1vegforlife]

Quote:

Originally Posted by 4everaspirit

Maybe you should watch videos together with them!! So they can better understand what this is all about.

You guys might like to watch the movie Vegucated together. Watch it on netflix or itunes. These kids will likely feel empathy once they get a better understanding of what you have seen and know.

I have been trying to get my 13 year old to watch earthlings. She reluctantly watched half of it with me, so I'm working on her. I will check out Vegucated too.

 

[Shadowlock]

Yeah, I've been suggesting Earthlings to the 12 year old here and she hasn't gotten curious about it yet. She's vegetarian though so I think she's on the right path. I'm proud of her diligence to cut out seafoods from her diet since it was her favorite.

Anyway, the choice for your kids to go veg isn't up to you even if you're the parent. They might be too young to process the information you learned about factory farming or just not educated enough on their own. You most likely made the choice on your own, they will have to do it on their own as well. They might feel at a loss of what to eat since they don't know how to cook or not know many foods avaliable to them. You can't think of them as little adults because they're not.

When I went vegetarian about 2 years ago, I was alone and making all of my meals separate from my family. I still made their regular meals because I'm the main cook here. But it wouldn't have been fair for me to cut them off cold turkey like I did. I realize that my way of making a big change isn't for everyone and a very small percentage have success when they do that. So I continued to cook my stuff last and the looks I got from the table as I was making my stuff were undeniable. They ate their meals blindly, watching my meal come together, sometimes they forgot what it was they were eating. Their interests grew. It was a gradual process for them knowing I wasn't starving myself and I definately wasn't eating grass. Eventually they got curious enough to learn about it on their own, asking me questions and watching videos.

Now they are both vegetarian, my boyfriend is a much healthier vegetarian, and I am fully vegan. They all have their own personal reasons for being that way. Watching their process was and is a wonderful thing.

 

[Marjoram]

My boy is 11 years old and mature enough to understand what a vegetarian diet implies and the impacts it has on animals and our Earth. He is the one who came up with the vegan idea to stop the cruelty and I followed without hesitation. If he decided to switch to vegetarian instead I would be super disappointed that his compassion failed to his taste buds and would ask for a serious discussion. If I was to take care of a kid not mine, lets say I live with a guy with kids from a former union, and they decided to be vegetarians, I would be ok with that (but I would try to gently, slowly educate them).

 

[Snarflopteryx]

First of all... How's it going? I just noticed that this thread was started half a year ago! I hope things are going smoothly

My favorite faux yogurt is Whole Soy & Co. I think it tastes the least like soy and is pretty comparable to dairy yogurt. Daiya is the best vegan cheese I have tried, but I do not like the shreds NEARLY as much as I like the blocks. Even my omnivorous husband likes the Daiya blocks (seriously, try the jalepeño and garlic one- you're welcome.

My kids, too, had been vegetarians for their whole lives when we switched to vegan, but it wasn't the same situation because my oldest was only 5(they were 5, 3, and 11 months). So, I didn't really give them a choice. I just said, "Hey we're going to be vegans now- here's why" and they accepted and were totally cool with it, but I have watched some videos with them and we discuss things frequently and it really helped when we found the yogurt and cheese that I mentioned up top.

I imagine it would be much harder with a kid who is old enough to make most of his own dietary choices. I think at that age I might perhaps say that vegan food would be served at home but he was welcome to eat non-vegan when you go out to eat or something like that. Honestly, this is sort of what we do with my husband. He is not a vegan (or a vegetarian), but he eats almost entirely vegan at home (except he often keeps a stash of snack cakes up where the kids wouldn't be looking) as a courtesy to the kids and I and then he eats whatever he wants when we go out to eat or he is at work or whatever.

So, if this post finds you, and your son is still holding out for dairy yogurt and cheese, that might be something for you to try out. Hopefully he came around though