Hi everyone, it has taken me a lot of guts to write this, but I really need to get it off my chest with people who I know might understand.
I have been a vegetarian for a few years now, and through-out this year tried to make the cross-over to being a vegan. I happily drink soy milk and have eliminated cheese, yoghurt and eggs.
In the last 4 months I have become comulsively obsessed with food, particularly foods that contain dairy and which I *feel* I shouldn't be eating, and therefore am totally binging on these foods. I am eating biscuit after biscuit, chocolate after chocolate, icecream after icecream - and I don't want to as I know where these foods came from, but I cannot stop myself.
The worse thing is I am hiding
this from people, particularly my BF who is a vegan - and he is the LAST person to judge me. I feel out of control and completely gross after my binges.
The reason I think this is becoming an eating disorder is because afterwards I will go to the gym and work my bum off for 2-3 hours because I feel guity
I don't know whether I should seek some professional help... or... revert back to being a lacto-vegetarian, minus cheese and milk. It kills me to do that as I really hate how animals are treated... but at the same time I am seriously hurting myself. I am un-happy with my weight (I'm not obese but feel chunkier than I usually do) and it is affecting my self-esteem.
I feel completely at a loss.