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<disclaimer>

I know a lot of people on these boards have a pretty lax view about sex. That's fine if that's what you like and it works for you. My sister, on the other hand, is having sex when she doesn't really enjoy it, to try to get guys to like her, and then worrying about it afterwards. So its two different situations and I'm not making judgements here, i'm looking for help. ;-) Thanks!

</disclaimer>

My sister is 22. She's currently studying to be a nurse assistant, she finishes school in the summer. She has a LONG history of bad sexual experiences, back to her very first, with a very *bad* boy (I'll call him hank) that she was intensely attracted to, who she slept with, but he was really bad to her and she still thinks she *loves* him to this day even though they've never dated, and they speak only a couple times a year. In the meantime she continues to hook up with guys who treat her like dirt. Most recently she was seeing a guy 14 years her senior who she realized was cheating on her. Now she's dating another guy she knows she doesnt love, and he's a jerk, but she sleeps with him anyway. She messed up her birth control pilled about 2 months ago and has been waiting for her period to start up a new pack, but is still having sex with him with condoms in the interrim (a very bad idea, as our family is very fertile.) She had a fight with this newest boyfriend, called up Hank, and then went over there and one thing led to another bout of commitmentless sex. Now she's still waiting for her period, its been about 7 weeks, she's taken several pregnancy tests which all come up negative, so I'm guessing she's on an annovulatory cycle, but my heart is breaking for her. I don't know how to help her change her behavior, see what she is doing is self destructive. She is not one of those people you'd see on jerry springer wondering who the dad of her child is, but she just put herself into that very possibility!!! I love her so much and hate to see her hurting herself like this. Can anyone give me an idea of what I can do to help her, how I can give advice to get through to her? She has no insurance currently and can't see a therapist. :-( Thanks.
 

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This might not apply but many schools provide free therapy for students or can recommend discounted rates with off-site therapists. I feel that she really needs to seek help from an outside, neutral source for this. I'm so sorry that you and your sister are going through this. Good luck!
 

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I had a friend who went through something similar, her first sexual experience was with someone she trusted, but he ended up dumping her right after. It took her a couple of years of really bad sexual choices to work things out, but eventually they did. I agree that therapy through the school might be they way to go. All I could do for my friend was not judge and love her, the rest she had to work out by herself.
 

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She sounds like someone who needs a great deal of self-esteem and respect. Probably the best thing you can do is be supportive of her when she engages in positive behavior. I don't think you can really talk her out of bad behaviors with reason when they are probably driven by something deeper.
 
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