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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
about two weeks ago there was a suicide at my high school. we usually have about 10-15 deaths a year at my school and about 1 or 2 suicides. im a senior now, so im used to all of this. (luckily they've never been friends of mine) im a compassionate person so it always hurts me when anyone dies, but after about 2 days im my normal self again. but for some reason not in this case. im consumed by it and think about her all the time. i cant move on and i dont understand why, i mean i've never even spoken to this girl, just known her from around campus. why is this happening??
 

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It can be difficult when you are a sensitive/compassionate person. Is there someone you can talk to about it, like a teacher/guidance counselor? Usually when something like that happens they have grief counselors for the students to talk to.

A co-worker committed suicide last year. She had cancer and I guess she had a hard time dealing with it, even though her prognosis was good. It took a few months before we finally were able to not think about it every single day. Some tragedies just take a little longer to get over, I guess. Good luck to you.
 

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I agree with Karen. You should definitely talk to a guidance counselor about this. I think you've been numbing yourself against all these deaths for a long time, but you've reached the breaking point, and you need to open up and let it out.
 

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10-15 per year? It's not a surprise you would get stressed eventually. It's partly it could be me and the realization how vulnerable we are. It could be partly survivor's guilt.

I agree with the others.
 

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I agree you've been numb in the past and it's caught up to you. I've done it myself and it always catches up to you.
 

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You may be at a different place in your life now than you were for the past deaths, and you're realizing more the finality of it or something. DEFINITELY go speak to a counselor at school about how you're feeling. "Rebound" suicides are very common, when one person kills themself than another one does because the first person did. I'm not saying you're in that position, but this event is definitely affecting you and you should get it sorted out before you start developing depression.
 

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10-15 a YEAR???? 1-2 suicides a YEAR?? We had one death (a suicide) in my 12 years of pre-college schooling. It was very hard on me because it was an old friend of mine. I can barely imagine the stress on your young mind it must be to have this amount of death around you. I second the notion to see a therapist because this is a horrible thing to have to bear - there is nothing wrong with you, you are an empathetic, sweet young woman. The world is crazy, not you. Get help in dealing with it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
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Originally Posted by veggielove View Post

10-15 a YEAR???? 1-2 suicides a YEAR??
Yeah I know its a lot. There is a lot of gang related type problems in my area, which is actually why this girl killed herself. One of her friends was shot while driving around town. Probably for knowing something about another crime. & of course no one has spoken about who killed her, for risk of there own life. Its a discusting cycle.
 

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Sheesh. Sounds like a rough place to live and go to school. I still find the one suicide that occurred while I was in high school upsetting (and it's way too many years later). So please follow everybody else's advice and talk to someone. If the school counselors aren't comfortable to talk to, sometimes larger churches have clergy trained in counseling.
 

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You may have come to a more mature level in your feelings and value of life. You also may have fully realized what an terrible waste it was. These are the kind of feelings that leave you empty and hurting for a long time. Cry as much as you need to. Go to the councilor, talk to your parents, pastor, etc. Suicide hurts us worse, because we always wonder if there was something we could have done to interviene. We carry a guilt of having done nothing. The double edged sword there is there really wasn't anything we could have done. People who are determined to end their lives usually find a way.
 

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when i was in highschool there was this one girl who was always trying to be mean to me for some unknown reason. she was a year younger than me so we didn't have classes together but she thought it was funny to get in my face and tease me on the bus on the way home. i had dealt with a lot of bullies in elementary school and was so over it, i generally just ignored her or laughed along with her. she was irritating but i didn't let it get to me.

then one day at school they announce that she's dead, we find out that she killed herself and that her whole group of friends had made a suicide pact. they all agreed that they would do it, whether together or one by one i'm not sure. anyway i found out that where my mom had lunch every day by her office at the time, this girl would go in on her lunch period and go around to all the customers asking for money to buy food. my mom would always give her whatever she had on her. when i heard that i feld so bad that she had such problems and that i had negative feelings towards her when she probably was crying out for help.

and then we find out that she was related to my mom's best friend. she was native and my mom's friend told us about the funeral, saying that they had a drum ceremony and it was so beautiful etc which made me feel pretty good that she had such a big turnout and so much love and whatnot. ... and THEN we find out that the pact wasn't rumour, that at the funeral her friends all put notes in the casket saying things like "we'll join you soon". which caused a huge uproar in the schools. there was all kinds of grief counselling and the teachers talked with the classes about it and made sure everyone knew that they could go to them for help and stuff like that. everyone just felt so crappy about the whole thing.

it was such an up and down emotional ride for everyone, and not many people even really knew her. it's amazing how we can suddenly find these connections we didn't know we had, and how someone's pain can affect us so deeply even if they're strangers to us.

anyway point being you're not alone and you're not wierd for thinking about it a lot. it can be pretty earth shattering and it's really mind boggling to think that anyone could purposely end their life, that any problem could ever get that bad.

what good came out of the girl from my school was that action was taken right away, we were educated and counselled, and none of the other girls in the pact followed through with their promise, they got help. in the process, after seeing so many people upset by what happened, i'm sure that other kids who were considering it at the time must have reconsidered or got help. so consider what good may come of it for others in bad situations, if there is no apparant good, maybe you can do something to help it along. if you feel really passionate about it find out from your school if there is anything you can do. start or volunteer for a helpline, reach out to students who appear depressed, picked on etc. sometimes just a friendly face is enough to lift someone out of the gutter.
 

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Last year we had someone that graduated the year previous and he shot himself. His girlfriend found him, she was in my senior class. I was consumed with it too. That same year we had 2 freshmen die in a car accident, and one junior pass away in his bed the same weekend. Later that year they guy that shot himself we heard his sister did the same thing. And it is true. Their parents are on suicide watch because they lost their only two children. This year there was another suicide by a sixth grader in my community. I know how you feel. I felt like that was all I could talk about.
 
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