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What happened more when you were a kid?

  • I made fun of/laughed at/bullied/ostracized other kids

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  • I was made fun of/laughed at/bullied/ostracized

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Quote:
Originally Posted by WonderRandy View Post

I was teased and bullied a lot. We moved around a lot, so I was always the "new kid". Plus I was overweight, didn't do well at all in P.E., I was a smart kid, I wore glasses, I smelled funny.... You remember that kid from your class, right? that was me.

Add to all of that, we usually lived in small towns in Oklahoma, like Nash, Carmen, Dacoma, Bramen, Medford, Pawnee, Wakita... Add to all that, I was a gay-boy-to-be.... "Ostracized" doesn't begin to cut it...
My gosh, you were in the boonies. I haven't even heard of two of those towns. You poor kid.

I was miserable in school through 4th grade. We lived in Lookeba. Population 299 from time to time. It was a farm community where the girls were as tough as the boys and afraid of nothing. I was short and plump and scared of everything that crawled, slithered, flew, bit, and everyone knew this before I was old enough to know to hide it. No one laid a hand on me. My sister would have looked them up after school and laid them out, and they knew it, but she couldn't stop the teasing, and the teachers didin't either.

In fifth grade we moved to civilization where amazin' raisin, the girls were girly and afraid of the same things I was, and the teachers didn't put up with any nonsense. I was not going to live like I had before and my sis was in a different building. We had one bully in the class who was small and trying to set up a pecking order with the new kid. He hit me and I knocked him down. None of the girls had ever knocked him down before. He's the bully in my sig. Every so often in the next four years he would start hitting me just to see, and I would have to flatten him to have any peace for about a year.

I learned don't start anything, but don't suffer fools who hit you more that one time. Now you may not agree with me, but up to a point, that still works for me.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by WonderRandy View Post



as hellish and brutal as school could be, it was a refuge from the dysfunction at home.
yes, school was better than being at home. being around horses was my real refuge. i felt at peace around horses.
 

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i was teased and bullied. my primary mode of handling it was 1. ignoring; followed by 2. withdrawing; followed by 3. trying to enlist the aid of an adult to get it to stop; followed by 4. standing up for myself.

4 was always followed with me getting some form of school punishment for 'being mean' even though the teachers were well aware that the students had been and were making fun of me day in and day out for months and i'd finally had enough, yelled back at them to leave me alone, and then, well, i got introuble.

i still don't get it.

and i don't get why, my parents knowing this was happening, my mom being a stay-at-home-mom, and both being highly educated, that they didn't think they could effectively homeschool me.

apparently, institutionalized abuse is considered 'socialization' by some or many, and my parents fell prey to that idea and they idea that they were too inadequate to teach me themselves--they, who were more educated than most of my teachers at the time.
 

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I knew a girl named Candy Cane. I don't know what her parents were thinking, but it was obvious she'd been picked on viciously. I met her in 5th grade at Vacation Bible School. She was petrified to say her name. I'd like to think we made her feel welcome. I know no one teased her about her name in my class.

When I was in high school, I met a girl named Hannah Bator. She said the kids at school always called her Master-Bator when they wanted to get on her case. I guess Incu-Bator wasn't funny enough.
 

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Does this thread feel like group therapy for anyone else?
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahjayn1980 View Post

I think the solution, though, is not homeschooling always. I think bullies need help to not be bullies, teacher need tools and time to help them, and there be firm expectations.
I agreee. Homeschooling is not the best option for every family. It would certainly help if teachers had smaller classrooms and were able to spend more time with each kid and each problem. That's a money issue for many districts. A lot of them cannot afford any more teachers on their present budgets.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marie View Post

That sounds like a stripper name. Hehe.
I know, and she probably got ribbed for it on that account, too. She was humiliated even to mention her name, so I don't think she had made it up.
 

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Originally Posted by Amy SF View Post

No No No No! Not because of my FIRST name! Because of my LAST name!


It rhymes with pisher.

You can shorten it to Fish.

I got called "Fish" and "Fishy".

People said I smelled like a fish.

This was loooooooooooooooong before the Amy Fisher incident in NY, but you can bet your boots that if I was in school when that happened, it would have made things worse, MUCH worse.
There were a couple kids at my school who would take advantage of changing my weird Polish last name (which people can't pronouce) to "Garbage" (my last name is basically spelled almost the same so they just replace the letters needed). So, "Hey, Garbage" was a popular tease for me and my brother.

For some reason, this one guy decided "garbage" wasn't an easy obvious enough tease for my last name and called me "Little Geezer" and my brother "Big Geezer". Garbage was alot closer than Geezer.
 

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Teased. Mostly for being poor and unfashionable. My family went clothes-shopping at thrift stores and (in those days) that meant wearing a lot of 70's cast-offs which in the 80's was like treason. Add giant bug glasses and straight hair in the decade of perms and I didn't stand a chance. Girls (even from church!) made me cry all the time. I particularly remember a day when I was wearing a cute (vintage, of course) light blue sheath dress that I'd been so proud to wear; a fellow-female-church-goer (one of the 'cool' girls) came up to me, fingered the cloth, and said something like, "New dress? Too bad it's not navy. It'd be cute if it were navy." And she walked away.

It's weird how after all these years that memory still makes me sad for my poor little 7th grade self.
 
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