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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
so my very well intentioned grandmother just gave me a pair of leather shoes. Apart from being made of poor dead cows.. they aren't the cutest things in the world so i really don't think any of my friends would want them. my grandma is a goodwill/thrift store junkie so if i donate them anywhere local she might find them and that might hurt her feelings. i definitely DO NOT want to keep these any suggestions on what to do with them? :/
 

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Did they use to be her shoes, or did she buy them for you? If they're new, you can return them for store credit where she bought them. If they're used, you can give them back to her so that she can pass them along to someone else.

I get that if you were going to give her the facts straight-up, the easiest time to do that would have been right when she gave you the shoes. But it's common to be tongue-tied when we're caught off-guard. At this point, if you give them back to her, you could tell her they pinch your feet (or that they're too big) if you want a bogus excuse. But if she's like most well-intentioned people, she'd rather know the truth, which would keep her from making the same mistake in the future. If she already knows you're vegan (you eat together sometimes, right?), giving her back the shoes will make sense in that context -- she will know now about vegans not wearing leather/silk/wool, and it doesn't have to be a big-deal conversation. If she's got any fur, this will let her figure out that she should leave it to someone else.

My mother (well over 80 at the time) brought tomato aspic to the first Thanksgiving where everyone knew I didn't eat meat. She was surprised when I passed the plate along without taking any. My explanation was low-key (after the no thank you, it was just "naw, vegetarians don't eat gelatin") and there was no drama. I made some kind of joke about being a royal pain to cook for, and then we were off on some new topic.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by cornsail View Post

Throw them away?
i felt like that would be very wasteful. they are brand new.
thinking i'll pawn them off on an aunt or my mom or something. i have told her i don't wear leather. she just forgets or "forgets". she also has a hard time understanding that i don't eat things that milk or eggs have been cooked into too, not just the actual products. she's old and set in her ways and i don't think she's even met a vegetarian let alone a vegan before. she does try tho, she never even offers me meat and i'm appreciative of that. it's just going to take a lot of working with her to help her understand.
 

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Sell them and donate the money to an animal charity or something similar. New leather shoes can go for a fair amount and at least that way some good would come out of them.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by weirdo vegan chick View Post

my grandma is a goodwill/thrift store junkie so if i donate them anywhere local she might find them and that might hurt her feelings.
If by an outside chance she was to find them and knew that they were the exact same ones she bought for you, be honest and tell your gran that you are now a vegan and don't like to wear leather because it is sourced from cows. Let her know that you gave them away because you knew it would hurt her feelings more if you refused them at the time she gave them to you. She will be a little hurt initially, but then it's over with and she will know next time not to buy you anymore leather.
 

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First, I'd be honest with your grandmother about how you feel, then second, give them to someone who would have bought leather shoes anyway, therefore doing your part to decrease the overall demand for leather.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joan Kennedy View Post

If she already knows you're vegan (you eat together sometimes, right?), giving her back the shoes will make sense in that context -- she will know now about vegans not wearing leather/silk/wool, and it doesn't have to be a big-deal conversation.
WTF?! Did this poster experience a change of heart about leather wearing being unethical
because she used to spend a lot of time arguing in opposition to the vegans on this board who claimed that leather wearing is wrong.
 

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Originally Posted by offthahook View Post

WTF?! Did this poster experience a change of heart about leather wearing being unethical
because she used to spend a lot of time arguing in opposition to the vegans on this board who claimed that leather wearing is wrong.
This thread isn't for debating the ethics of leather. It's about how to deal with relatives who give you things you don't use anymore, and tactics about whether and how to try and let them know. I'm vegetarian, not vegan, but have had parallel experiences with my own family and was trying to be helpful here.
 
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