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What should my fiancée and I wear to our wedding?

6K views 61 replies 27 participants last post by  SnugYPlugs 
Quote:
Originally Posted by dormouse View Post

Hmm...when reading your first post I instantly thought of Ellen Degeneres and Portia's beautiful wedding photos, but I think you're right that the disparity in the outfits suggests something about the "dynamic" of the couple, as you put it.

One option would just be to say "Screw what people think" and dress how you want. Just because you're a lesbian couple does not mean you need to make any political statements with your union.

If your fiance wants to wear a wedding dress, I would definitely say "screw what people think." It's one day in your life you get to wear a beautiful gown like that, and I say more power to your fiance if she wants to wear one. Just because she's a lesbian doesn't mean she can't have a fairytale wedding, you know? The key then might to be to make your outfit as feminine as possible without you feeling uncomfortable, to narrow the contrast. There are plenty of very feminine suits, you could consider a suit with a skirt, a suit in a color besides black or gray, and heels if you are fine walking in them. I agree with others' suggesting that you ditch the tie. Another possibility that makes a statement is if neither of you wear the traditional wedding colors. Black and white looks classy, but there are so many other interesting colors!
I agree with everything dormouse said. It's hard to counteract this assumption some people have of a dynamic in a gay/lesbian relationship that says that one person will act as the man in the relationship and the other will act like a woman. It's stupid, because it usually doesn't exist other than in other people's heads.

I think eschewing traditional wedding colors and going with something like a dark teal, green, or dark blue color is really pretty and still classy. It's not worth being uncomfortable, but I do love how a vintage inspired dress like this looks- something with a jacket and relatively fitted without being skintight definitely takes away some of the weird exposed and vulnerable feeling I used to get when I had to get dressed up and hated dresses, and dresses like this look feminine without being a glitter and beads and tulle explosion. If not a dress, a pencil skirt and a blouse would also look tailored and pretty freakin' dapper.

Now, you might be going all "hey, fudge you katt, I hate skirts and don't wanna wear one" which is totally cool. Maybe consider something less of a suit and more of a pants and nice shirt combo like this:


It's dressy, doesn't imply some sort of nonexistent dynamic in a relationship where one partner is masculine and the other feminine, and doesn't involve a skirt or dress that you wouldn't be comfortable in.

The bottom line is that it's your wedding, and if you wanna get married dressed in a cardboard box with a tuxedo drawn on it, screw what people think. You're awesome either way. And congrats!
 
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