What should I say?

693 Views 5 Replies 6 Participants Last post by no whey jose, Jun 1, 2015

Happywhenvegan

Discussion Starter · May 31, 2015

I am a recently turned vegan and I am so proud over that. My surroundings are much more understanding then I thought they would be and for that I am super grateful. I have realised that eating vegan is super easy at home or at a restaurant. But I have found it hard to go to social gatherings such as dinner parties. Since I am recently vegan many of my friends still don't know. So when I come to there place I get served meat. My dilemma starts here;

I feel so rude not eating the meal they had planned out and like such an inconvinience. People have even started to say that they can't invite me because of my veganism. It has been pretty rough and I find myself saying no to social gatherings because of this. Does anyone else feel like this? Can anyone help wit what i should do?

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jessandreia

· #2 · Jun 1, 2015

That's very rude of people to say they can't invite because you're vegan. Are they worried that you'll make them cooking something else just for you?
When you get invited, just let them know that you're vegan now and tell them not to worry about you being an inconvenience to them that you'll bring your own food. If they still don't want to invite you, you should ask yourself if you want these people in your life.

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meg moo

· #3 · Jun 1, 2015

my advice is to definitely tell people ahead of time if you are coming over. You could bring your own food if they can't cook anything vegan, eat ahead of time, or just eat side dishes if they are vegan. Of course, you should be respectful because you are the guest, but some people are just flat out against veganism and don't want to accommodate it, but you don't have to go to those ppl's dinner parties

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Tiger Lilly

· #4 · Jun 1, 2015

Tell your friends about your dietary requirements before you go to their place. I'm in the habit of asking what people can and can't eat now, but most people still aren't. So you have to tell them because they're not going to know any other way. I can understand why they'd be frustrated, as noble as your decision is, with hearing about it AS they're presenting you with a meal they've worked hard on. In essence, you're not rude for saying no to the animals and animal products but it's not overly polite to not inform them ahead of time.

For the friends who say they can't invite you BECAUSE of your veganism, well that's just stupid. Of course they can invite you. You don't need to eat with people, to hang out with them. If you're going to someone's house, then ask if you can bring your food (make more than 'just' enough for you, trust me on this. People WILL eat your food). I've yet to have someone say "No, no, you definitely can't bring food to my place!". A lot of times, people will be relieved because it means they don't have to think about it.

It does mean speaking up more, it does mean preparing more, but once you're in the habit of it, it takes away a lot of stress.

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seanE

· #5 · Jun 1, 2015

sorry for the harsh coment to follow,
but you probably wont be friends with meany of them for much longer, people react badly to others trying to better them selves.
if they can't invite you, there probably trying to sweat you out, to go back to meat eating.:laugh:

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no whey jose

· #6 · Jun 1, 2015

You were invited to several dinner parties and you didn't mention you were vegan when you accepted the invitations? If someone will be preparing food for you, it's very important for them to know what you can and can't eat-- otherwise, how will they know? I can understand why they would be upset, not because you don't eat meat but because you didn't bother to tell them about it sooner.

As others have suggested, you should just bring a big serving of vegan food with you. It will take the pressure off your host and give you the opportunity to share delicious vegan food! You can also eat beforehand and just go to socialise.

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