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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
LOL, Ok I told you guys how my husband isn't eating meat right now either; mainly because I don't fix it at the house. Well, today at lunch I start telling him how I heard that they put arsenic in the meat to kill the parasites. So he says something like "Yeah those vegetarians will say anything to make meat look bad to other people to try to get them to stop eating it." Then he starts going off on how I'd better not start saying that stuff in front of our bil's family (his name is David), because they have BBQs for every little family get-together that they have. So I of course quickly pointed out that David's doctor told him that he'd better start eating better or he was going to end up diabetic very quickly. I won't say anything in front of his dumb over weight family but GEEZ! Anyway, then hubby starts going on and on and on about how they clean up the meat before they ship it out. "Yeah right" I think. He points out how I haven't died from it yet. I was thinking, yeah and alot of people don't die from street drugs or alcohol etc etc, but that doesn't mean they aren't bad for you. Uugh, I could go on and on, but I wanted to rant to someone who would understand.
 

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You're entitled to your opinions, too. Sounds like he's trying to silence you to "keep the peace". That's not really fair.

If my family only ever had grill-outs, I don't know if I'd keep showing ... especially if everyone is going to put you down for being a vegetarian. But I'm a drastic human being.
 

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Sorry he is being that way. It can be hard convinving people of your choices sometimes, however hard you try.

I understand your fustrations...

Thank god for veggieboards, where people share the same views :)
 

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newgirl82

This outlook may offend you, but are you dragging your DH into veg*nism without his agreement to the idea? Does he feel forced into it?

You may need to have a talk with him about his feelings about not having meat in the house. Does he have a resentment about it? Do your statements (while he's eating-wishing he had meat) trying to educate him just rub him the wrong way at a very touchy time? We have had others on the board that went through that.

Now please don't be offended, but I don't think this is about his family, or diabetes. I think it is about his agreement to be meatless in his own home. He must love you a lot to be showing such respect to your wishes, but that may not mean he likes it. And being faced with a sermon on the evils of meat every time he sits down to dinner could make for unnecessary strife in your marriage.

It would be nice if we could implant the desire to be meatless in others, but it just doesn't work that way. The change has to come from within them.

When he is eating what you are fixing and not adding meat from outside sources, nor griping about no meat, then you have a winner. Do the laddie a favor, Lass, and don't preach at him. He will come around his own if you don't crowd his space.
 

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I have to agree with Life2K on this one. If you just quietly follow your diet, he may come around to it, he may not. But preaching at him and saying things will only turn him in the opposite direction.

i live with a meat eater.........i have for 19 years! he is 95% veg and just doesn't realize it yet! haha.

really , back when i like to shock him i would leave Peta materials around so he could see, it seemed to only make him resist.......so i stopped, i just follow my veg diet, i cook this way, yes occasionally i will make him a meat dish ( there is some teriyaki chicken in the fridge from TJ's right now for him for dinner tonight).........but 95% of the time he eats as i do.........even his work lunches are veg and thats his own doing.

so my best advice is to back off, just lead by example, and as far as the family bbq's, bring along a veg option for yourself and enough for anyone who wants to try it, they may just like it.

i always bring ms farms grillers along and sometimes veggie dogs........

i brought vegan chocolate chip cookies to a xmas get together and everyone scarfed them down and couldnt believe they were vegan! i said "hey they are still not health food, thats why they taste so good!!"........

anyway, just take it easy on him.

good luck
 

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agreeing with the above, and maybe you could be a bit less judgmental of David's family, which is YOUR family by marriage and stop comments like this:

Quote:
I won't say anything in front of his dumb over weight family but GEEZ!
A veg*an spouting off all the grotesque facts is just as ill mannered as an omni waving a burger in our faces.

Would you be thrilled if your hubby sat down to meals and lectured you an b-12 and protein?

where's the love?

tp- married to an omni 11 years
 

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That's hard, to hear that from your spouse. Thank God, my husband has been supportive of me not eating meat since the beginning. (His sister was a vegetarian, and goes on/off the "wagon" since she had two kids.) My husband has tried to give up meat, mainly because he knows that it's not great for you, and he doesn't approve of the factory farming practices, either, but he still hankers for a venison steak now and then. I cut him some slack and don't bug him when he eats meat, I really can't, because the only meat he eats anymore is venison meat from deer that he has killed himself, so I know it's not full of drugs, chemicals, radiation, etc. I'm just happy that he eats veg with me 90% of the time! I've even got him converted to vegetarian sushi!

Just quietly go about your life, is my best advice. Don't make a big deal over why you're veg, just eat healthy and eat right, and when you start to look really good and get really healthy, he just might start to think that there's something to it, after all. I don't make a big fuss over being veg, and most people are curious rather than hostile.
 

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I have to agree with Life2K and Bonoluvr on this one. You can't force someone else's eating habits. When the tables are turned on you, and everyone is picking on you for being a vegetarian, do you like it?

If you want a happy marriage, you'll want to start accepting your husband and your in-laws for who they are. If your husband ate meat before you were married (especially if you did, too) then it's definitely not fair for you to be the only one making all the decisions about food in the house. You can decide what you will cook and eat and your husband can decide what he will cook and what he will eat, too. You'll need to sit down with him and reach a compromise that you can both work with.

In my house, I will cook meat for my husband, but he understands up front that because I am not tasting the meat I've prepared, it may not be the greatest tasting thing in the world to eat. So, we go with easy to prepare meats or he cooks that part of the meal himself. We've been married for almost 5 years and so far it doesn't look like he'll become a vegetarian any time soon, but at least he's gotten so he cares a bit more about what he eats than he used to. The most important part about it is that we respect each other regardless of what we eat.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I think I didn't describe David's family properly. They are not my family, or my in-laws. David is my husband's sister's husband. I hope that made sense. So, we do not sociate with them very often, except perhaps for birthday parties and the like for their daughter. And the comment I made about them wasn't very nice either. I apologize!

I also wanted to mention that I didn't force hubby to stop eating meat. He's been complaining for a while now that we don't eat healthy enough, not enought veggies, etc. However, whenever I would prepare a typical meal like a meat, veggie, and starchy food, he would fill up his plate with tons of meat and starch, and leave most of the veggies in the pot. So, one day I just suggested that we try going without meat for one week. He was all for it. At the end of the week, we talked about it, and I told him that I had decided to become a vegetarian, and he was welcome to continue eating meat, that I would even prepare it for him. The whole discussion that this thread is about happened during that initial week by the way. I wasn't trying to be preachy, I was just saying it like a "hey, you wouldn't believe what I read today, how gross" thing you know? I was just offended that he went off thinking I was going to start being preachy about it and try to lecture other people. Because you are right, I don't want to be picked on for my vegetarianism either.

All of that aside...my husband's views have changed as time has passed these few weeks. His attitude has followed this path..

I love meat, so yummy, a BBQ makes a perfect weekend...

to...

We need to be eating more vegetables...

to...

Sure, I'll try this no meat thing...

to...

This no meat thing is pretty cool, I have way more energy...and less tummy problems...

to...

I may still have to treat myself to turkey on thanksgiving...

to...

So have you found some good vegetarian BBQ recipes yet? What veggies can you bbq?...

to...

I'm scared to eat meat now that my stomach is used to not having any...

to...

thanksgiving ought to be interesting since we won't be eating turkey, what will we bring do you think?

I'm so proud!
 

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Ugh I know what it is like. My step dad is an over weight alcoholic and he would get really drunk and come downstairs when I was entertaining my vegetarian friends and just make fun of our diet. So I moved out. I don't talk to him at all. This happened multiple times and it was just mortifying. Now I have other problems to deal with like one of my vegetarian friends admitted she ate fish a few weeks ago. ugh why!
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by VanBeads View Post

That's hard, to hear that from your spouse. Thank God, my husband has been supportive of me not eating meat since the beginning. (His sister was a vegetarian, and goes on/off the "wagon" since she had two kids.) My husband has tried to give up meat, mainly because he knows that it's not great for you, and he doesn't approve of the factory farming practices, either, but he still hankers for a venison steak now and then. I cut him some slack and don't bug him when he eats meat, I really can't, because the only meat he eats anymore is venison meat from deer that he has killed himself, so I know it's not full of drugs, chemicals, radiation, etc. I'm just happy that he eats veg with me 90% of the time! I've even got him converted to vegetarian sushi!

Just quietly go about your life, is my best advice. Don't make a big deal over why you're veg, just eat healthy and eat right, and when you start to look really good and get really healthy, he just might start to think that there's something to it, after all. I don't make a big fuss over being veg, and most people are curious rather than hostile.
On the very, very, very light side, at least he did kill it himself. I am very much so anti-hunting, but it is better than the animal suffering in a factory farm. At least he had the decency to do the deed himself, and not let it happen behind steel walls with a blind eye. And no, this isn't sarcasm either, incase anyone thinks so.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
I agree with you on hunting. I don't have a problem with deer; they have a nice life being deer, and then if they are shot, I hope it was quick in the head. Lucky for me though, I HATE the taste of deer meat so I don't have to worry about it.
 
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