<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by Michael</i><br><br><b><br><br>
I mean, if I get a woman pregnant (I should only be so lucky) and she doesn't want to have the child but I do then what choice do I have? None as far as I know. Sure you could argue it's her body, her choice... But if she has the child and I don't want it then I should somehow feel obligated to help pay for it? What happened to her body, her choice? Now all of a sudden it's my fault, my responsibility. You see, it's not really fair in my eyes</b></div>
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To me, part of why it is fair is because in general (obviously there are exceptions), a woman is the default caretaker. Women give birth in the hospital all the time and the father never even shows up or leaves town, but how often do women give birth (which is no trivial act) and then just casually leave the hospital without her baby? Yes, there are cases of women who leave babies in trash cans, etc., but no where near the number of men who just vanish when the woman says she's pregnant. And yes, the man may have to pay if the woman is able to get the money from him, but it takes more than money to raise a child. It means disrupting one's career and education, taking up all your time and emotional energy, etc.<br><br><br><br>
Even in marraiges, women usually bear more of the brunt of child raising. If your child is sick at school, who do they call to interrupt their work day and take the kid home? Who takes off work to breast feed and recover from pregnancy? What if the woman just walks out of the house to talk to the girls at the bar without even asking if the man if he wants to babysit? Men walk out their homes all of the time without asking their wife for the favor of babysitting while they are gone. If the woman is in the house, why do they need to make arrangement? But women ask before going out. Of course men and women very greatly, but these examples are very common, I believe.<br><br><br><br>
Because it is sooooo much easier for the man to ditch the baby (socially and logistically), I feel it is a small price for the man to not have an equal say in the decision. This imbalance of the reality of who ends up taking the ultimate responsiblity for the child is also reflected in who (man or woman) <i>in general</i> is more knowledgeable and careful about birth control. Most men I know who are fairly educated, know far, far less about contraceptive devices than the women I know. I think this is reflective of the fact that the women feel more pressure not to get pregnant than the man, bc they realize that it will impact them far more.