VeggieBoards banner

1 - 15 of 15 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
379 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So I was having a get-together with group of mixed friends (meat-eaters and veg*ns). I've recently-ish (four or five months ago) decided to eliminate dairy and eggs from my diet, and try to adopt a vegan lifestyle. During this, I was exposing my only vegetarian friend (aside from my veg*n life partner) to the wonders of Daiya, which she really enjoyed.<br><br>
At this get-together, she excitedly told me that I had influenced her and her roommate (also vegetarian, but I don't know her at all) to try to cut dairy and eggs out of her diet too (she was going to start slow). We were talking about the dairy industry and what happens to cows and chickens after a couple years, but long before they would die of old age.<br><br>
One of the meat-eaters asked us what we were talking about (giving up eggs and dairy) and then asked us why (because of the conditions of the industry).<br><br>
Then she got all huffy and was like, "Don't even bother trying to convert me, it won' work."<br><br>
And it's been bothering me for awhile because we weren't trying to preach to her or anything. She asked a freaking question, so we gave her a freaking answer. It makes me think that 90% of the "pushy preachy veg*ns" are just people who were answering stupid meat-eater questions and its the meat-eaters who project "preachy" and "pushy" onto them.<br><br>
Also, her response was so cut-and-dried - "don't even bother".<br><br>
Next time she butts into our conversation, I'm tempted to reply: "Oh, you wouldn't understand this conversation, it's beyond you". <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/mad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":mad:">
 

·
Herbivorous Urchin
Joined
·
9,717 Posts
I tend to get that response because they feel attacked, often because of feelings of guilt.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,126 Posts
It's very frustrating when meat-eaters ask questions like that and then, when they get the answer, seemingly forget that THEY asked, and decide that you are trying to preach to them. It's clearly a defense mechanism, but it's really annoying. That's why when people ask me why I don't eat meat/eggs/dairy (especially the latter two) I always gently ask them "Are you sure you want to hear this?" and only proceed if they say yes. That way it's harder for them to blame it on me when they get an answer they don't like.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,995 Posts
There have been lots of threads about how omni's automatically feel threatened and jump to defend themselves, and they act like you were cramming your lifestyle down their throats (literally)... Even if all you did was walk into the room and stand there for two minutes.<br><br>
A lot of omni's, like this fellow you mentioned, really think we're like a veg Jehovah's witness, and I'm sure that person may have thought that your next move was going to be to lecture them about their choices... Which is apparently an omni's worst nightmare.<br><br>
Don't let it get to you. You are going to hear far worse stuff in your life.<br><br>
I'm sure that person would be thrilled to know that their comment got to you in this way.<br><br>
When someone says something like that and it bugs you, post it in the Stupid Things Omnivores Say thread. Just reading the thread always makes me feel better.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,995 Posts
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>ashlend</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2920094"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
It's very frustrating when meat-eaters ask questions like that and then, when they get the answer, seemingly forget that THEY asked, and decide that you are trying to preach to them. It's clearly a defense mechanism, but it's really annoying. That's why when people ask me why I don't eat meat/eggs/dairy (especially the latter two) I always gently ask them "Are you sure you want to hear this?" and only proceed if they say yes. That way it's harder for them to blame it on me when they get an answer they don't like.</div>
</div>
<br>
Oh yeah...<br><br>
Asking if the person really wants to hear about it, what with food around and all, is a win-win.<br><br>
If they DO want you to speak about it, they can't call you preachy, or feel offended. And odd are, that they are genuinely curious. Even if they were not genuinely curious, for some reason asking first makes the person (for some reason) feel the need to take a more mature approach to the subject. I don't know why it works that way.<br><br>
More often than not, though, they'll decline and go on about their way. In which case, your point has been made by default, because they are acknowledging that the "truth" is really too horrible to speak about if they're about to eat the meat/dairy/eggs.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,548 Posts
I try my best to to logical.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
379 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Hazelnut</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2920095"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Don't let it get to you. You are going to hear far worse stuff in your life.<br><br>
I'm sure that person would be thrilled to know that their comment got to you in this way.</div>
</div>
<br>
Oh, I know. I've been vegetarian for 17 years, I've won veg*n bingo several times over. It's just more recently, my consciousness has been raised to the possibility that "preachy, pushy veg*ns" are a strawperson created by meat-eaters and so now instead of being proud of "not being like those preachy, pushy veg*ns", I'm realizing how much meat-eaters are projecting their own odious and insulting perceptions on our actions and perpetuating this image of us as "preachy and pushy" no matter what we do or don't do. That's what got me, I think.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
379 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>ashlend</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2920094"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I always gently ask them "Are you sure you want to hear this?" and only proceed if they say yes. That way it's harder for them to blame it on me when they get an answer they don't like.</div>
</div>
<br>
That's a good idea! I'll try to remember that next time.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,910 Posts
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>ashlend</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2920094"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
It's very frustrating when meat-eaters ask questions like that and then, when they get the answer, seemingly forget that THEY asked, and decide that you are trying to preach to them. It's clearly a defense mechanism, but it's really annoying. That's why when people ask me why I don't eat meat/eggs/dairy (especially the latter two) I always gently ask them "Are you sure you want to hear this?" and only proceed if they say yes. That way it's harder for them to blame it on me when they get an answer they don't like.</div>
</div>
<br>
One time I mentioned I was vegan while playing online on a Minecraft server. One of my acquaintances expressed a kind of snarky, yet kind of serious interest in hearing about it and debating me. I seriously felt like I was getting into a Pokemon battle with a five-year-old. I did, in fact, pull the "Are you really sure you want to get into this?" card. He said yes, and I proceeded to debate the crap out of him. I could tell that I did, in fact, get to him, despite his refusal to let anyone think so. I hope it at least made him think.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
I make a point of my vegetarianism not to be preachy to people, because I'm an atheist and in religion terms, I don't think it's a great way to communicate, but from their attitude I do feel like meat eaters have a bigger problem with you being veggie than the other way round. When my sisters ex-boyfriend lived with us, the concept of not having meat in a meal was impossible for him to even consider, and because of little things like putting beans instead of mince into a lasagne one time, he would ALWAYS ask, "has it got meat in it?" to whatever was being made for dinner. And I find attitudes of chefs like Gordon Ramsay absolutely deplorable, "converting" vegetarians on television to eating meat, just because it "tastes nice". Meat eaters get defensive because in terms of reasoning, they have none. I called myself an animal lover for the last decade, but keeping certain ones as pets while you eat others made me a complete hypocrite. If people question you about your choices, and then have the tenacity to turn on you for it, remember who has the moral high ground in the whole affair. It's you, and it's always going to be you, until the entire world goes vegan.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
992 Posts
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>luxdancer</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2920084"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
SIt makes me think that 90% of the "pushy preachy veg*ns" are just people who were answering stupid meat-eater questions and its the meat-eaters who project "preachy" and "pushy" onto them."</div>
</div>
<br>
I'd put money on it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
54 Posts
Those of us who aren't preachy unfortunately inherit some of the animosity created by those who ARE preachy. Let's face it, who doesn't go on the defensive when they've been a "victim" of the super-preachy? My hackles go up the second someone says to me: I'm a Jehovah's Witness/Baptist/Fruit of God's Loom because members of those groups have driven me half crazy with their viewpoints in the past. I try to judge the individual, but it's not always easy.<br><br>
It sucks, but there you have it. Just smile and go on, and hopefully that person will start to see that you're not a pain in the a$$. One day you might be able to have a cool, productive conversation.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,097 Posts
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Cromwell</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2925540"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I make a point of my vegetarianism not to be preachy to people, because I'm an atheist and in religion terms, I don't think it's a great way to communicate, but from their attitude I do feel like meat eaters have a bigger problem with you being veggie than the other way round. When my sisters ex-boyfriend lived with us, the concept of not having meat in a meal was impossible for him to even consider, and because of little things like putting beans instead of mince into a lasagne one time, he would ALWAYS ask, "has it got meat in it?" to whatever was being made for dinner. And I find attitudes of chefs like Gordon Ramsay absolutely deplorable, "converting" vegetarians on television to eating meat, just because it "tastes nice". Meat eaters get defensive because in terms of reasoning, they have none. I called myself an animal lover for the last decade, but keeping certain ones as pets while you eat others made me a complete hypocrite. If people question you about your choices, and then have the tenacity to turn on you for it, remember who has the moral high ground in the whole affair. It's you, and it's always going to be you, <b>until the entire world goes vegan</b>.</div>
</div>
<br>
Which won't happen is people are afraid to discuss or promote their ethics.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,063 Posts
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>luxdancer</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2920084"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
It makes me think that 90% of the "pushy preachy veg*ns" are just people who were answering stupid meat-eater questions and its the meat-eaters who project "preachy" and "pushy" onto them.<br></div>
</div>
<br>
Abso-****ing-lutely. Bringing it up AT ALL equals "making a big deal about it".
 

·
I don't eat animals.
Joined
·
60 Posts
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Cromwell</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2925540"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
, he would ALWAYS ask, "has it got meat in it?" to whatever was being made for dinner. .</div>
</div>
<br>
And I hope you assured him it was made with the freshest family pet available... his.<br>
:p
 
1 - 15 of 15 Posts
Top