VeggieBoards Tales

IamJen · Nov 9, 2006

(tuba music plays) 
If you like to argue 'bout honey 
If post-slutting makes you smile 
If you' think that momma jokes are funny 
and enjoy a good manpile............ 
Have we got a board for you!!! 
VeggieBoards.....VeggieBoards...VeggieBoards 
Veg-gie-Boards 
Michael's cool... the mods are too.... 
Dont' break the rules.... 
Veggieboards! 
We're mostly sweet...have a seat.... 
We don't eat meat... 
Veggieboards! 
We talk of dance...and underpants... 
Here's your chance... 
join Veggieboards! 
There's never-ever-ever-ever-ever been a board like VeggieBoards 
There's never-ever-ever-ever-ever been a board like VeggieBoards 
Hooray for VeggieBoards!

rincaro · Nov 9, 2006

This is the highlight of my day.

Amy SF · Nov 9, 2006

Jessica Alana · Nov 9, 2006

<div class="quote-container">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by IamJen <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a> 
... the mods are too.... </div>
</div>
 
I feel you may be biased. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/laugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":lol:">

Skylark · Nov 9, 2006

If you enjoy no-meat tables 
If a lick can make you smile 
If you like to read ingredient labels 
up and down the produce aisle 
Have we got a board for you. 
Cauliflower, sweet and sour 
Half an hour (or all day, depending on who you are) 
VeggieBoards 
Lima beans, leafy greens 
peachy keens 
VeggieBoards 
... 
Biased, who us? No, we're not, and such people do not exist on the Internet, anywhere.

Spidergrrl · Nov 9, 2006

Narrator: "Our curtain opens as Larry, having just finished chopping his vegetables, is searching for his tofu. Having no success, Larry cries out 
.." 
Larry: "Oh, where is my tofu? Oh where is my tofu? Oh, where, 
oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, 
where oh, where ... is my tofu?" 
Narrator: "Having heard his cry, Pa Grape enters the scene. Shocked and 
slightly embarrassed at the sight of Larry in nothing but an apron, Pa regains his 
composure and reports ..." 
Pa: "I think I saw some tofu in the back of the fridge!" 
Larry: "Back there is my tofu. Back there is my tofu. Back 
there, back there, oh, where, back there, oh, where, oh, where, back 
there, back there, back there ... is my tofu?" 
Narrator: "Having heard his joyous proclamation, Junior Asparagus enters 
the scene. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Larry in just an apron, Junior regains his composure and comments ..." 
Junior: "Why do you need tofu? Can't you just eat meat?"!" 
Narrator: "Larry is taken aback. Meat? The thought had never occured to him. No tofu? What would this mean? What will become of him? Larry wonders ..." 
Larry: "No meat in my kitchen. No meat in my kitchen. No meat, no meat, no meat, no meat, no meat, no meat, ...in my kitchen." 
Narrator: "Having heard his declarations, Bob the Tomato enters the scene. 
Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Larry in just an apron, Bob 
regains his composure and confesses ..." 
Bob: "Larry, that tofu of yours....Well I gave it to the Peach because he's just become a vegan." 
Narrator: "Feeling a deep sense of loss, Larry stumbles back and laments" 
Larry: "Not fair! Oh, my tofu. Not fair! My poor tofu. Not 
fair, not fair, not fair, not fair, not fair, not fair, not 
fair, not fair! My yummy tofu!" 
Narrator: "Having heard his lament, the Peach enters the scene. Himself 
in just an apron, both Larry and the Peach are shocked and slightly 
embarrassed at the sight of each other. But recognizing Larry's 
generosity, the Peach is thankful ..." 
Peach: "Thanks for the tofu." 
Narrator: "Yes, good has been done here. The Peach starts to exit the scene. 
Larry smiles and calls out ..." 
Larry: "Let's share, all my tofu. Let's share, all my tofu.Let's share, let's share, let's share let's share let's share...all my tofu." 
And they all sat down to a cruelty free feast (even Jr Asparagus) 
The End

IamJen · Nov 9, 2006

Very nice <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/notworthy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":wayne:">

WonderRandy · Nov 9, 2006

<--- confuzzled <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/huh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="

"> 
(I'm assuming it's a VeggieTales thing? I've never seen it...)

Spidergrrl · Nov 10, 2006

Thank you I am Jen. The humble me would like to say it was nothing, I simply cut and pasted the song and revised a few words. The attention whore me would like to say that yes, it is brilliant and i spent ages getting it just right because I am so clever. 
Wonder Randy: It is a parody of The hairbrush Song. Original lyrics here: <a href="http://www.veggiegear.com/vetalyhaso.html" target="_blank">http://www.veggiegear.com/vetalyhaso.html</a> 
Read ther original lyrics and then praise me for my cleverness. 
I must go before my head gets too big to fit through the door.

Tofu-N-Sprouts · Nov 10, 2006

Oh my gosh I am in TEARS I'm laughing so hard. VeggieTales is a regular event at our house (even my older ones still get into it). 
Do the Tofu 
to foo foo to to to foo foo fo fo to n to to n fo fo 
Quorn! 
Kung Pow 
Quorn! 
Mongolian 
Quorn! 
Sweet and sour 
Quorn! 
Cashew 
Quorn! 
Do the moo shoo 
moo shoo shoo moo moo shoo muh moo shoo moo moo shoo shoo moo 
moo shoo shoo 
Do the moo shoo 
Tempeh! 
Mandarin 
Tempeh! 
Barbeque 
Tempeh! 
Sweet and sour 
Tempeh! 
Spicy Fried 
Tempeh! 
Do the tofu 
to foo foo to to to foo foo fo fo to n to to n fo fo 
STOP

Spidergrrl · Nov 10, 2006

Break a fourtune cookie. 
Beware of grape with wooden mallet. 
Aint that the truth.

IamJen · Nov 10, 2006

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/thumbsup.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":up:"> TNS. 
I was going to try one of the Water Buffalo Song (I'm kinda old school VT, lol) but I grew weary last night. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="

">

karenlovessnow · Nov 10, 2006

I have one.... 
[attachment=4884:Twas the night before Christmas Veggie Style (short version).doc]
 

<span huddler_attributes="{"plugin":"attachment","params":{"id":"1360","name":"Twas the night before Christmas Veggie Style (short version).doc","description":"","size":85,"type":null}}" huddler_plugin="attachment">
<a
class="attachment loginreq" href="/attachments/1360" title="">Twas the night before Christmas Veggie Style (short version).doc 85k . file
</a>

karenlovessnow · Nov 10, 2006

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house 
Not an omni was stirring, not even my spouse. 
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, 
In hopes that all animals' lives would be spared. 
The children were nestled all snug in their beds, 
While visions of vegan treats danced in their heads; 
a 
And I in my 'kerchief, my cat in my lap, 
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap, 
When out in the kitchen there arose such a clatter, 
My omni spouse came to see what was the matter. 
When, what to our wondering eyes should appear, 
But a miniature sleigh,and eight tiny reindeer, 
With a little old driver, so lively and quick, 
We knew in a moment it was vegan St. Nick. 
More rapid than eagles veggie couses he made, 
Tofurky, bean salad and seiten roulade. 
Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen! 
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen! 
They whipped up the hummus the lentils and rice, 
And the Thai Curry Tempeh had just the right spice. 
There were main dishes, side dishes, cookies and pies, 
Vegan fudge that I know will go straight to your thighs! 
They spoke not a word but went straight to their work, 
And when all was complete, Santa turned with a jerk, 
And laying his finger aside of his nose, 
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose; 
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, 
And they all flew away like the down of thistle. 
So to all here at VB I say happily, 
"Many Blessings to all to who eat animal free!"

karenlovessnow · Nov 10, 2006

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house 
Not an omni was stirring, not even my spouse. 
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, 
In hopes that all animals' lives would be spared. 
The children were nestled all snug in their beds, 
While visions of vegan treats danced in their heads; 
And I in my 'kerchief, my cat in my lap, 
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap, 
When out in the kitchen there arose such a clatter, 
My omni spouse came to see what was the matter. 
When, what to our wondering eyes should appear, 
But a miniature sleigh,and eight tiny reindeer, 
With a little old driver, so lively and quick, 
We knew in a moment it was vegan St. Nick. 
More rapid than eagles veggie couses he made, 
Tofurky, bean salad and seiten roulade. 
Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen! 
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen! 
They whipped up the hummus the lentils and rice, 
And the Thai Curry Tempeh had just the right spice. 
There were main dishes, side dishes, cookies and pies, 
Vegan fudge that I know will go straight to your thighs! 
They spoke not a word but went straight to their work, 
And when all was complete, Santa turned with a jerk, 
And laying his finger aside of his nose, 
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose; 
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, 
And they all flew away like the down of thistle. 
So to all here at VB I say happily, 
"Many Blessings to all to who eat animal free!"

Skylark · Nov 10, 2006

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/thumbsup.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":up:"> 
But is it vegan to make reindeer cook and pull a sleigh? 
Have you read the "Politically Correct Bedtime Stories" version of The Night Before Christmas? It's a hoot!

karenlovessnow · Nov 10, 2006

Aghhh!!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="

"> 
No, but I'm going to check it out! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="

">

Spidergrrl · Nov 10, 2006

<div class="quote-container">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by IamJen <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a> <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/thumbsup.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":up:"> TNS. 
I was going to try one of the Water Buffalo Song (I'm kinda old school VT, lol) but I grew weary last night. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="

"></div>
</div>
 
If you can do that i will bow down before your greatness. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/notworthy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":wayne:">

GhostUser · Nov 10, 2006

Here I sit broken hearted 
Had lots of fruit and only farted 
Now I have to go and train 
with my hiney in so much pain 
oh well, i'll just lift real smart 
hopefully, i will not fart

GhostUser · Nov 10, 2006

<div class="quote-container">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by barrylove <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a> 
Here I sit broken hearted 
Had lots of fruit and only farted 
Now I have to go and train 
with my hiney in so much pain 
oh well, i'll just lift real smart 
hopefully, i will not fart</div>
</div>
 
LOL 
WHAT THE [email protected]&L DID I JUST POST!?!??!?!?!?! 
This has NOTHING..absolutely NOTHING to do with VB! 
Oh my gosh..what a DORK!

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