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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
(tuba music plays)

If you like to argue 'bout honey

If post-slutting makes you smile

If you' think that momma jokes are funny

and enjoy a good manpile............

Have we got a board for you!!!

VeggieBoards.....VeggieBoards...VeggieBoards

Veg-gie-Boards

Michael's cool... the mods are too....

Dont' break the rules....

Veggieboards!

We're mostly sweet...have a seat....

We don't eat meat...

Veggieboards!

We talk of dance...and underpants...

Here's your chance...

join Veggieboards!

There's never-ever-ever-ever-ever been a board like VeggieBoards

There's never-ever-ever-ever-ever been a board like VeggieBoards

Hooray for VeggieBoards!
 

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If you enjoy no-meat tables

If a lick can make you smile

If you like to read ingredient labels

up and down the produce aisle

Have we got a board for you.

Cauliflower, sweet and sour

Half an hour (or all day, depending on who you are)

VeggieBoards

Lima beans, leafy greens

peachy keens

VeggieBoards

...

Biased, who us? No, we're not, and such people do not exist on the Internet, anywhere.
 

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Narrator: "Our curtain opens as Larry, having just finished chopping his vegetables, is searching for his tofu. Having no success, Larry cries out

.."

Larry: "Oh, where is my tofu? Oh where is my tofu? Oh, where,

oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh,

where oh, where ... is my tofu?"

Narrator: "Having heard his cry, Pa Grape enters the scene. Shocked and

slightly embarrassed at the sight of Larry in nothing but an apron, Pa regains his

composure and reports ..."

Pa: "I think I saw some tofu in the back of the fridge!"

Larry: "Back there is my tofu. Back there is my tofu. Back

there, back there, oh, where, back there, oh, where, oh, where, back

there, back there, back there ... is my tofu?"

Narrator: "Having heard his joyous proclamation, Junior Asparagus enters

the scene. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Larry in just an apron, Junior regains his composure and comments ..."

Junior: "Why do you need tofu? Can't you just eat meat?"!"

Narrator: "Larry is taken aback. Meat? The thought had never occured to him. No tofu? What would this mean? What will become of him? Larry wonders ..."

Larry: "No meat in my kitchen. No meat in my kitchen. No meat, no meat, no meat, no meat, no meat, no meat, ...in my kitchen."

Narrator: "Having heard his declarations, Bob the Tomato enters the scene.

Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Larry in just an apron, Bob

regains his composure and confesses ..."

Bob: "Larry, that tofu of yours....Well I gave it to the Peach because he's just become a vegan."

Narrator: "Feeling a deep sense of loss, Larry stumbles back and laments"

Larry: "Not fair! Oh, my tofu. Not fair! My poor tofu. Not

fair, not fair, not fair, not fair, not fair, not fair, not

fair, not fair! My yummy tofu!"

Narrator: "Having heard his lament, the Peach enters the scene. Himself

in just an apron, both Larry and the Peach are shocked and slightly

embarrassed at the sight of each other. But recognizing Larry's

generosity, the Peach is thankful ..."

Peach: "Thanks for the tofu."

Narrator: "Yes, good has been done here. The Peach starts to exit the scene.

Larry smiles and calls out ..."

Larry: "Let's share, all my tofu. Let's share, all my tofu.Let's share, let's share, let's share let's share let's share...all my tofu."

And they all sat down to a cruelty free feast (even Jr Asparagus)

The End
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Very nice
 

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Thank you I am Jen. The humble me would like to say it was nothing, I simply cut and pasted the song and revised a few words. The attention whore me would like to say that yes, it is brilliant and i spent ages getting it just right because I am so clever.

Wonder Randy: It is a parody of The hairbrush Song. Original lyrics here:

http://www.veggiegear.com/vetalyhaso.html

Read ther original lyrics and then praise me for my cleverness.

I must go before my head gets too big to fit through the door.
 

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Oh my gosh I am in TEARS I'm laughing so hard. VeggieTales is a regular event at our house (even my older ones still get into it).

Do the Tofu

to foo foo to to to foo foo fo fo to n to to n fo fo

Quorn!

Kung Pow

Quorn!

Mongolian

Quorn!

Sweet and sour

Quorn!

Cashew

Quorn!

Do the moo shoo

moo shoo shoo moo moo shoo muh moo shoo moo moo shoo shoo moo

moo shoo shoo

Do the moo shoo

Tempeh!

Mandarin

Tempeh!

Barbeque

Tempeh!

Sweet and sour

Tempeh!

Spicy Fried

Tempeh!

Do the tofu

to foo foo to to to foo foo fo fo to n to to n fo fo

STOP
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
TNS.

I was going to try one of the Water Buffalo Song (I'm kinda old school VT, lol) but I grew weary last night.
 

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Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not an omni was stirring, not even my spouse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that all animals' lives would be spared.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of vegan treats danced in their heads;

a

And I in my 'kerchief, my cat in my lap,

Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out in the kitchen there arose such a clatter,

My omni spouse came to see what was the matter.

When, what to our wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh,and eight tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

We knew in a moment it was vegan St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles veggie couses he made,

Tofurky, bean salad and seiten roulade.

Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!

They whipped up the hummus the lentils and rice,

And the Thai Curry Tempeh had just the right spice.

There were main dishes, side dishes, cookies and pies,

Vegan fudge that I know will go straight to your thighs!

They spoke not a word but went straight to their work,

And when all was complete, Santa turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And they all flew away like the down of thistle.

So to all here at VB I say happily,

"Many Blessings to all to who eat animal free!"
 

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Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not an omni was stirring, not even my spouse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that all animals' lives would be spared.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of vegan treats danced in their heads;

And I in my 'kerchief, my cat in my lap,

Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out in the kitchen there arose such a clatter,

My omni spouse came to see what was the matter.

When, what to our wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh,and eight tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

We knew in a moment it was vegan St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles veggie couses he made,

Tofurky, bean salad and seiten roulade.

Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!

They whipped up the hummus the lentils and rice,

And the Thai Curry Tempeh had just the right spice.

There were main dishes, side dishes, cookies and pies,

Vegan fudge that I know will go straight to your thighs!

They spoke not a word but went straight to their work,

And when all was complete, Santa turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And they all flew away like the down of thistle.

So to all here at VB I say happily,

"Many Blessings to all to who eat animal free!"
 

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But is it vegan to make reindeer cook and pull a sleigh?

Have you read the "Politically Correct Bedtime Stories" version of The Night Before Christmas? It's a hoot!
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by IamJen View Post

TNS.

I was going to try one of the Water Buffalo Song (I'm kinda old school VT, lol) but I grew weary last night.
If you can do that i will bow down before your greatness.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by barrylove View Post

Here I sit broken hearted

Had lots of fruit and only farted

Now I have to go and train

with my hiney in so much pain

oh well, i'll just lift real smart

hopefully, i will not fart
LOL

WHAT THE [email protected]&L DID I JUST POST!?!??!?!?!?!

This has NOTHING..absolutely NOTHING to do with VB!

Oh my gosh..what a DORK!
 
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