[Schoska]

Ok, this is doing my head in.

Anyway, the man. THE man.. who I am all paranoid about has just told me he has a room going in his place and wanted to know if I'd like it.

Well, I can't take it as I have a flat of my own, but ..arghhh

this is terrible.

It's like he's saying "oh yea I like you..AS A FLATMATE"

or am I losing my mind again?

I'm sure you all think I am insane but my ex screwed with my head royally so I feel a little out of touch with men and their ways...

*sobs*

 

[GhostUser]

The best way to avoid misunderstandings is to get clarity.

In other words, ASK!

We're not mindreaders--we can't answer for him. We have no idea what he could have meant by that.

Neither can you know. Don't assume anything. Just simply ask.

 

[Schoska]

I would. but it just got worse.

I just asked him if he was going to be ok in regards to his flat if he couldnt find flatmates(he can't afford the rent on his own) and he said he though so and "I can always stay at x's for a while".

x being his ex. well, she probably isn't his ex now. she's probably his g.f again.

I just..I give up. I don't know why I even botherd. F*** knows why i thought I could compete with some ex model who gets her knickers off at every opportunity.

 

[GhostUser]

It's true that you won't know if you don't ask, but it sounds like he might be purposefully stringing you along. I had this experience where a guy I liked had an on-again-off-again girlfriend. When they were separated, he was very attentive to me... phone calls and hugs and invitations out. Then, when they got back together, he would drop me. It was like he needed me as a back up.

It was pretty apparent that I liked him and that he had some interest in me, but I was too chicken to have a discussion and clarify things. It went on like that for about a year, and then his true colors started to show. I had thought he was one of the most wonderful men in the world. Turns out he was an egotistical jerk. When I realized this, I stopped calling and went out of my way to avoid hugs from him, and eventually he got the message.

In retrospect, I am *very* glad that I never had a clarifying conversation with him because it would have just fed his ego and hurt me.

So, I'm not saying that your guy is necessarily the same. It could just be that he's unclear about your feelings and too nervous to express his own. OR, he could be leaving things vague on purpose so he has himself a back-up girl.

 

[Strix]

He has a room for rent in his home? Or is it an apartment in a complex he owns?

Either way, I would never move into a place or even close to a man I was interested in. First off, it's too much. You want privacy and some distance. That's just inviting trouble!

If you want to know about the ex then ask. As a matter of fact, that would be easier. When he said, "I can just move in with X," you should have replied, "Oh, are you two back together?" with a smile, of course

If you got the run around on that one, I'd drop it. Don't play games with him (as that may be what he's doing); move on and don't give him anymore of your time, thoughts, or energy. If he is interested, he'll be back; but you may not be interested by then ;D; and it may be better that way.

Then your other option is to straight-out ask if he would like to date you because you are interested

 

[Schoska]

Strix, sadly no, he is not loaded and therefore doesn't own 150 posh apartments.. it's an apartment with lots of rooms.

And, I wouldn't have moved in him...

Anyway I asked him and his reply was basically that he was "with" her, but is killing time. Killing time for what exactly I am not sure, so I have told him I am hurt, and confused etc and I would appreciate a more clear explanation.

I think it is really wierd though to ask me to share a place with him when he knows how I feel, and I know he does fancy me.

Odd man..

Oh well. I won't be all melodramatic and say I am heartbroken. However I thought I'd found someone I could give things a go with.

Maybe when he grows up eh?

 

[muppetcow]

I agree with Pirata--sounds like he is stringing you along. I don't doubt that he's interested in you, but it seems like he's keeping you as a back-up in case things with X don't work out like he wants. He's probably still hung up on X and isn't ready to move on.

Maybe once he realizes that he can't take you for granted, he'll come to his senses.

 

[Schoska]

Life isn't fair is it!

Oh well, his loss. I mean, what is the point!? He needs to grow up and either make a proper effort with this other girl, or stop ****ing around.

It isn't fair on her, or me.

GRrrrrrr. Meh...still hurts though. *little sniff*

 

[GhostUser]

Quote:

He needs to grow up and either make a proper effort with this other girl, or stop ****ing around.

Good for you! People can only use you if you let them.

He doesn't sound like he's worth this kind agonizing. You deserve someone a lot better!

 

[Schoska]

Yes I do!!! HA.

I really did make an effort with him to be patient as he was deeply unhappy and had a lot of issues. However, enough is enough!

He either pulls his socks up or he can get stuffed!

I feel sorry for him really because if he doesn't sort himself out he won't be happy , no matter who he is with. And that is a shame.

From my point of view though, its also a shame he's so scrummy...

*dribbles*