VeggieBoards banner

1 - 20 of 89 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
12 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am in a relationship with this girl but I am having a hard time dealing with her parents. Originally she was not allowed to have a boyfriend, so we had to keep our relationship secret(we only saw each other at school), but they found out and got mad. Now they tolerate me I guess. But they really don't want us to be alone. When she begged them enough to let me come over, we played pool behind the house by ourselves for a few minutes, when they found she got in trouble and had her phone taken away. When I met her at the mall we had to stay in her dads range of sight. And when I was planning a birthday dinner for me and my friends, she could only come if there was strict adult supervision. They used to read through our Facebook conversations to see what we were saying, but now they seem to have stopped. She isn't allowed to go on dates so I can't take her to a movie or a walk in the park or anything together. She is also now allowed to come to my house. When she does something that her parents don't like they take her phone away so they can't talk to me.<br><br>
I feel suffocated by how strict they are. I love her a lot but I can't seem to get as close to her as I want and do the fun and romantic things we want to do together. We see each other on the bus, at lunch and have one class together. We talk about our day, hug and kiss, but that's about it. I feel like our relationship can't go any where from there when I want it to go further(I'm not talking sexual here, that can be later)I feel like it's not enough, but there's nothing I can do. I don't feel like I could convince them to change their rules, and it's nothing against me in particular, they are close minded about all guys. I don't want to wait two years until she turns 18 just to be able to enjoy doing things that couples do.<br><br>
Does anyone have any advice?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,929 Posts
Do you assume you are the only one she talks to on her phone? Why else would you say; "she gets her phone taken away so she can't talk to <i>me</i>"? She is simply being punished for breaking the rules to please you.<br><br>
It sounds like you are the one with the suffocation issues. You have to share her attention with her friends and family, at 16 years old you don't get her all to yourself. They sound like good parents to me, respect their wishes and their home to earn their trust and then don't mess it up once you've gotten there. Be patient.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,619 Posts
May I ask how old you are?<br><br>
I saw another thread you posted in<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">I am real glad that my girlfriend is real respectful of me being vegan and even said she would be willing to try my cooking sometime.</div>
</div>
<br>
And you mention above that you were planning a meal for her with your friends, and saying 'till she turns 18' as though you are already at or above that age. It sounds to me like you are older than her and THATS the problem her parents have.<br><br>
Also I feel its terrible forum etiquette to join and within three posts ask for non veg*n related advice when this is, after all, a veg*n support forum.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
582 Posts
I had a similar problem with the dad of my first girlfriend being a pain in the arse, so I decided to have a chat with him in private about how I felt about her and I set out to prove myself to him that I wasn't a tool. I remember her Dad saying that he really respected me for taking the time to talk to him about it, and after that he backed off and everything was ok.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,945 Posts
After her parents get to know you, they may relax a little, but I'm sure it's frustrating. When I was 16, all I wanted to do was be alone with my bf. Fortunately, my parents weren't strict at all and they adored him (too).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,026 Posts
Just respect the parents rules.<br>
When she's older she will have more freedom.<br>
Unless they're being abusive you should stay out of it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,408 Posts
considering that when they found out about you they also found out you were the reason their daughter lied i'm not surprised they don't trust you alone with their daughter. i suggest respecting their rules and trying to earn their trust. most importantly, don't let her break any rules when she's around you.<br>
what sort of fun, romantic things do you want to do with her?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
498 Posts
Agree with the others. Respect the parents. It will get you much further. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br>
Also, you may want to start using the word "like" in place of "love".<br><br>
ETA: Oh, also also, wait the two years.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,385 Posts
Her parents are *******s. They may have the right to do what they do but they shouldn't. yet i can't give you an advice. i don't know them. the person who knows them is your girlfriend. she should have an idea how to get them to have her more liberty, by what promises she should make etc. if she doesn't she should see if there is help available for students with over strict parents. maybe a school councilor that deals with student's personal problems
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,408 Posts
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Ira</strong> <a href="/forum/post/3051381"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Her parents are *******s. They may have the right to do what they do but they shouldn't. yet i can't give you an advice. i don't know them. the person who knows them is your girlfriend. she should have an idea how to get them to have her more liberty, by what promises she should make etc. if she doesn't she should see if there is help available for students with over strict parents. maybe a school councilor that deals with student's personal problems</div>
</div>
<br>
what reason do they have to give her more liberty with a guy she lied about and defied their no-dating rule with?
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,385 Posts
having a no dating rule at 16 is already a bad choice. i know it is their choice but they are majorly sucking at it
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,385 Posts
like i said. they have the right. but they aren't right. if that makes sense<br><br><br>
i could go on and on about social develpment here. but i will just simply say that in such an extreme case she is more likely than anyone who got to date to either start develping unhealthy relationships with men or catch up on all the years she was forbidden to have a boyfriend in the first month of college. just saying
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,385 Posts
yeah, i agree that we only know one side. but from what he says they don't even get to be on a date. this isn't really about sex, it is just important for a teenager to have some unsupervised time
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,714 Posts
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>zirpkatze</strong> <a href="/forum/post/3051253"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
what sort of fun, romantic things do you want to do with her?</div>
</div>
<br>
He's a high school boy... let your imagination run wild, lol.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,408 Posts
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Forster</strong> <a href="/forum/post/3051449"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
He's a high school boy... let your imagination run wild, lol.</div>
</div>
<br>
he's saying it's not about sexual stuff
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,714 Posts
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>zirpkatze</strong> <a href="/forum/post/3051458"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
he's saying it's not about sexual stuff</div>
</div>
<br>
That's what they all say.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,408 Posts
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Forster</strong> <a href="/forum/post/3051460"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
That's what they all say.</div>
</div>
<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/laugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":lol:"> i'm trying really hard give him the benefit of the doubt but i'm having trouble thinking of g rated things that require privacy
 
1 - 20 of 89 Posts
Top