[tiggybrown]

I went out for SPanish Tapas with three omni friends, they ordered squid in it's own ink, rabbit, venison, pheasant, shrimp, all types of sausages!!!!!!! They were moaning and groaning over how good it was and I felt left out in a way. Though you could not have paid me to eat the stuff I still felt like an outsider, I realize this is part of the path, but it can be really hard sometimes. Then on SUnday we went to my fiance's parents house (they are huge omni's, his Dad is a butcher at a big chain supermarker) anyway his Mom calls and tells my fiance she has no idea what to cook since I don't eat meat or dairy, I felt like I was such a pain in the ass! I hate feeling like a pain, it is one of my biggest pet peeves. I just felt really alone and freakish this weekend, I just wish there were more like myself around, why am I the only one who cares? Why is that some of us feel more then others? I guess we all have our priorities

 

[jeezycreezy]

It's the price you pay for compassion.

One of the strategies I would suggest to you is to not put yourself in a position like that in the first place.

It sucks to miss out on socializing with friends, but you have to weigh the pros and cons. It doesn't sound to me like it was worth it for you in this one instance.

Another strategy is to ask your friends to go veg for one meal. It depends on the people and how good a friend they are if this will work. Chance are it won't.

I can not stress enough though that if you don't communicate to people the things that bother you then you can't really complain about it.

Your typical omnivore is COMPLETELY oblivious to what you're feeling and won't change their behavior to suit you. In fact, most times it's the opposite. I know as a vegan what you're feeling and what you think seems BEYOND obvious. But it's not to those blood thirsy heathens.

Anyway, I wish I could be more encouraging. I think we've all felt what you're feeling. Hang in there.

Cheers!

TJ

 

[GhostUser]

eating doesnt have to be ushc an important social thing.

Im sure you can find more better ways to deal with it... it'll get better with time. Or at least plan ahead!!!

 

[jeezycreezy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ProudVegan

Im sure you can find more better ways to deal with it...

Good point PV. Are you of legal drinking ager tiggybrown?

 

[Alli]

Aw, it's okay. I felt the same way this weekend. I went to a homecoming dinner and my friend's mom had to make me a seperate stir fry (cooked in olive oil). I felt terrible. She said it was no problem, but I just felt bad about it. Then they had all these desserts and everybody was commenting on how good they were and I felt very out of the loop. I just had to keep thinking about the cows and chickens and what they go through.

My mom does the same thing your friends do. We were at Whole Foods, and she was getting some chicken and she said, "Mmm, that looks so good!" to me. No one else was with us. I have told her numerous times that it bothers me, too.

I guess it's just something that comes with the rest of the package.

 

[Jennifer89]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tiggybrown

I just felt really alone and freakish this weekend, I just wish there were more like myself around, why am I the only one who cares? Why is that some of us feel more then others? I guess we all have our priorities

99% of people care. You just care enough to do something about it. And BTW, we all know what it's like to feel left out in some way, even if you weren't vegan you might have felt left out for some other reason. Maybe you could bring them to a veg restraunt, you treat, and then you wouldn't feel left out. Or, make them dinner.

And next time you could just start gushing about how good your salad is. Even if it's not.

 

[Alli]

Quote:

And next time you could just start gushing about how good your salad is. Even if it's not.

Heh, I like to make fun of my mom whenever she raves about meat. She gets ticked, but at least then she's not telling me all about how yummy dead flesh is.

 

[remilard]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeezycreezy

Another strategy is to ask your friends to go veg for one meal. It depends on the people and how good a friend they are if this will work. Chance are it won't.

I think anyone who would ask this of their friends, and wouldn't be willing to eat meat for one meal in return is a class A jackass.

 

[ElliottsMom]

I don't get what you said. my friends eat veg with me all the time and I wouldn't eat meat if they paid me, any friend who would expect their veg*n buddy to eat meat in order to have a nice vegan dinner out with friends is a class A jackass IMO.

 

[jeezycreezy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by remilard

I think anyone who would ask this of their friends, and wouldn't be willing to eat meat for one meal in return is a class A jackass.

I have friends who will eat vegetarian when I eat with them. I don't ask. They're just cool that way. My family is the same way. Well, some of them.

What's the harm in asking?

There's a world of difference between having your friends respect you enough to eat a nice veg*n meal versus some scenario I can't even conceive of whereby a veg*n would have to eat meat in return. That's just goofy.

Anyway, I'm hoping this won't be like tiggy's boyfriend thread where she looked for advice and never came back.

Cheers!

TJ, Grade B Jackass

 

[remilard]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElliottsMom

I don't get what you said. my friends eat veg with me all the time and I wouldn't eat meat if they paid me, any friend who would expect their veg*n buddy to eat meat in order to have a nice vegan dinner out with friends is a class A jackass IMO.

Why can't vegans have a nice dinner without telling everyone else what to eat? Maybe other people want to have a nice meat dinner.

 

[jeezycreezy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by remilard

Why can't vegans have a nice dinner without telling everyone else what to eat? Maybe other people want to have a nice meat dinner.

If it upsets the veganas was clearly the case herethen obviously that ain't working and tiggybrown either has to learn to live with it, as most of us have, or else find something else that does work for her.

Requesting people try an all veg meal was merely one suggestion, not an absolute imperative.

Cheers!

TJ

 

[delicious]

Quote:

Originally Posted by remilard

I think anyone who would ask this of their friends, and wouldn't be willing to eat meat for one meal in return is a class A jackass.

Always knew I was a jackass...but class A? Impressive!

 

[compassionate1]

Quote:

Originally Posted by delicious

Always knew I was a jackass...but class A? Impressive!

Yes, I'm class AA.

Also, whenever I eat a vegan meal, I give a homeless guy a Butterball. It clears my conscience.

 

[ElliottsMom]

I guess I'm just lucky to have omni friends that put up with my jackassness. I feel so wicked when I ask my friends to come over for dinner or try the veg restaraunt when we go to TO. i'm gonna need a lot of butterballs. is it really that hard to do without meat for one meal?

 

[remilard]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElliottsMom

I guess I'm just lucky to have omni friends that put up with my jackassness. I feel so wicked when I ask my friends to come over for dinner or try the veg restaraunt when we go to TO. i'm gonna need a lot of butterballs. is it really that hard to do without meat for one meal?

If you want to be able to eat as you wish, free from coercion, why wouldn't you extend the same courtesy to your friends? Asking someone to a vegetarian restaurant is one thing, since you have to pick one restaurant. Asking someone to order specific things off the menu at the restuarnt you are at is another thing.

 

[GhostUser]

most of my friends (because they are my friends) are more than willing to try a vegan place or at the very least, when we plan to go out we go to very vegan friendly places.. Thai or Indian or mexican ususally works well for both.

 

[ElliottsMom]

well I don't mind if people order meat and eat it in front of me. it's just really hard to find good veg food in a chain restaurant, so I suck it up and eat a salad while they get their pick of the menu. so once in a while they will suck it up and go to a veg restaurant with me.

 

[GhostUser]

chain resturants suck anyway. a good resturant will make you a vegan meal, if you ask for it and flatter the chef.

 

[ElliottsMom]

there's no good restaraunts here. well a Thai place just opened up but this is a small town so I'm not too sure about it. that's why when just the Hubby and I go out to eat we'll drive to London or Toronto.