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I've read a couple of these before but I still get a chuckle out of them . . . <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D"><br><br><br><br>
Subject: TOP EIGHT MORONS OF THE YEAR<br><br><br><br>
1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?<br><br><br><br>
AT&T fired President John Walter<br><br>
after nine months, saying he lacked Intellectual leadership. He received<br><br>
a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking<br><br>
intelligence.<br><br><br><br>
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, California<br><br>
spent two hours attempting to subdue a gun man, who had barricaded<br><br>
himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers<br><br>
discovered that the man<br><br>
was standing beside them in the police line, shouting "Please ...<br><br>
Comeout and give yourself up."<br><br><br><br>
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun,<br><br>
kidnapped a motorist and Forced him to drive to two different automated<br><br>
teller machines, where the Kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from<br><br>
his own bank accounts.<br><br><br><br>
4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked<br><br>
for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too<br><br>
small, so he tied up the Store clerk and worked the counter himself for<br><br>
three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.<br><br><br><br>
5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery<br><br>
suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When<br><br>
detectives asked each man in the<br><br>
lineup to repeat the words "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the<br><br>
man shouted, "That's not what I said!"<br><br><br><br>
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING?? A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My<br><br>
wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is<br><br>
this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!", the man shouted, "This<br><br>
is her husband!".<br><br><br><br>
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!! In Modesto, California, Steven<br><br>
Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch<br><br>
without a weapon. King used a thumb and a Finger to simulate a gun, but<br><br>
unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.<br><br>
(hellllllooooooo!)<br><br><br><br>
8. AND THE GRAND FINALE................. Last summer, down on Lake<br><br>
Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour East of Bakersfield,<br><br>
California, some folks, new to boating, were having problems. No matter<br><br>
how hard they tried, they couldn't get<br><br>
their brand new 22 ft going properly. It was very sluggish in almost<br><br>
every maneuver, no matter howmuch power was applied. After about an hour<br><br>
of trying to make It go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking<br><br>
someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough<br><br>
topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The<br><br>
engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, The prop was the<br><br>
correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped Into the water<br><br>
to check underneath, he came up choking on water, because he was<br><br>
laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER. THIS IS TRUE! Under the boat, still<br><br>
strapped securely in place, was the trailer .
 

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4 was the best <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D"> very amusing..
 

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haha, these are funny! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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*laughs hard* I don't think I'll be zonking out until I stop laughing from these!
 

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hehe i like #2
 

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#5 sounds like a stickler for exact honesty.
 
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