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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My roommate is my best friend, but she habitually puts on way too much perfume on herself. I have to open the window once she leaves. on her way out, i smell it when she walks by, a number of feet away from me and it lingers in the room. I have to even open a wondow for a few minutes. I have tried explaining to her nicely that she puts on too much, and that it is more noticeable to others than her, because one is 'immune' to her own perfume, etc. I acknowldge i am sensitive to scents, but this is really riduculous and she does put on too much. I also know from other experiences, she doe snot have a very sensitive scense of smell which can contribute to the issue. short of having her perfume mysteriously 'disappear'-not very friendly, what do i do? it has got to stop.
 

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Eww! I hate perfume!

What did she say when you told her she wears too much?

How about asking her if she wouldn't mind spritzing on her perfume when she leaves the house. Buy her a nice little purse size sprizter that she can fill up or a purse size of the perfume she wears to make it convenient.

Or maybe buy her a perfume that you can stand and hope she takes to it?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
She said, "I like too much" She has no idea that it ceases to even smell good. I am thinking of asking mutual good friends to nicely bring it up with her, maybe she needs to hear it from a few people to get the idea.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ReginaCeltarum View Post

She said, "I like too much" She has no idea that it ceases to even smell good. I am thinking of asking mutual good friends to nicely bring it up with her, maybe she needs to hear it from a few people to get the idea.
Forgive me, but it sounds like her response was spiteful of your request!


I could be wrong since I don't know her though.
 

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Did you tell her that it bothers you? Maybe she thought you were critiquing her style, when in reality you were complaining that her style is actually affecting your living space.

I personally can't stand people who do this because I've got chemical sensitivities and perfume makes me really sick--at the worst it could bring on an asthma attack. I equate perfume with smoking in my mind; unfortunately many people who would agree that secondhand smoke is evil don't have any idea that their perfume can have the same effect on people. In any case, that's not your issue, but if you can't convince her to wear less of it at least ask her to spray it somewhere else, like queenfluff suggested. And when the weather is good always keep a window open, and a fan near the window to bring in fresh air.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
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Originally Posted by Cassiopeia View Post

Forgive me, but it sounds like her response was spiteful of your request!


I could be wrong since I don't know her though.
It wasn't spiteful. I think she just has no clue that it ceases to smell good. I see her reapplying it later in the day too sometimes.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
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Originally Posted by Iria View Post

Did you tell her that it bothers you? Maybe she thought you were critiquing her style, when in reality you were complaining that her style is actually affecting your living space.

I personally can't stand people who do this because I've got chemical sensitivities and perfume makes me really sick--at the worst it could bring on an asthma attack. I equate perfume with smoking in my mind; unfortunately many people who would agree that secondhand smoke is evil don't have any idea that their perfume can have the same effect on people. In any case, that's not your issue, but if you can't convince her to wear less of it at least ask her to spray it somewhere else, like queenfluff suggested. And when the weather is good always keep a window open, and a fan near the window to bring in fresh air.
Yes I have told her both that I can't take smelling that much of it and that it is not an attractive attribute for someone to smel that much. Yea, I equate it with smoke and b/o as well. Because that is what it becomes when there is so much. And it does effect people around you, it's not something stupid like if someone's blouse makes you nauseous don't look, you know? I can't not smell something.
 

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I have a problem with certain scents as well. Maybe you could take it when she's not home and hide it...or dilute it with water....just kidding, obviously...I just don't know what I would do if I were in your shoes. It's a tough call, especially since you've already tried talking to her about it.
 

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Can you let her know that it makes you feel ill?

Maybe you tell her you are allergic or something.

BTW- I know the feeling. My mom insists on wearing too much perfume and putting it on in the car before going to a restaurant. It makes me feel ill, and no matter what I say, she thinks it's just because I don't like the smell of that particular perfume.
 

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if she's been wearing it for a while, she may be so used to it she doesn't notice how strong it is.

i have a friend who does too much coke and doesn't believe us when we tell her she acts like a jerk when she's high. it's kinda the same thing.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
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Originally Posted by scarlet View Post

if she's been wearing it for a while, she may be so used to it she doesn't notice how strong it is.
absolutely. And she does have a weak sense of smell. one time we were in a class with two guy friends, and our prof was wearing like a ton of cologne, and when he walked by us, the three of us smelled it. One guy even was able to identify it. and she didn't smell it at all. It is so strong it gives me a headache if i don't open the window. I don't understand why someone would ant to wear so much and still want to continue when their best friend honestly says it's too much.
 

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I'd just ask her to put it on outside the house... most girls spray themselves ridiculous amounts anyway, many do it in their cars just before they walk in somewhere. It seems they are try to poison the rest of us but hey... that's their deal. If she doesn't get the hint buy something that smells totally repulsive (like bug spray) and spray it when she's around and tell her you thought she'd like it judging by how she wears her perfume....lol I'm just kidding- don't be mean
 

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And it's probably quite an investment for her ^^

No, but seriously. Why not just go "look, I really don't mean to be mean or anything, but I think it smells bad and it makes me sick, why don't you try to wear less of it? I meant too much, not just very much" or something. I mean I don't know her and I have no idea how she would react and to what extent she's immune to being hurt, but you know. Just so that she knows it's actually giving off a not so good image or something.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
It's not a bad perfume, but t is a strong one, that doesn't need to be applied very much. I have said something many times. I even finally asked her not to put it on in the bedroom, and she actualy made a little comment, and put in on her wrist in the common room. And it still lingered there after she walked away.
 

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Wow. One would think one would be a little more accomodating considering you guys are best friends! Actually, the hubby likes to use powder in his shoes. He happened to have a small can of baby powder that he uses for bowling. Instead of just asking me to pick up a can of poweder for his feet, he started using the baby powder which irritates my nose to no end. So I had to ask him to stop using it and I bought him some gold bond. He runs out of the gold bond and instead of telling me, he goes back to the baby powder and waits till I start to notice the smell so I go back to sneezing. It would have been too easy to say, honey, I'm running low on the gold bond, can you pick me up another can?

Some people just don't get it I guess, the inconsideration of it all, whether they be friends, husbands, etc. Very frustrating.
 

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I think it's time to start burning some incense she hates or playing some music she hates. Sounds childish, but I'm not sure what else you can do at this point other than consider an intervention with your friends, a nasty falling out, or just going to the RA and getting a new roomate.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
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Originally Posted by karenlovessnow View Post

Wow. One would think one would be a little more accomodating considering you guys are best friends! Actually, the hubby likes to use powder in his shoes. He happened to have a small can of baby powder that he uses for bowling. Instead of just asking me to pick up a can of poweder for his feet, he started using the baby powder which irritates my nose to no end. So I had to ask him to stop using it and I bought him some gold bond. He runs out of the gold bond and instead of telling me, he goes back to the baby powder and waits till I start to notice the smell so I go back to sneezing. It would have been too easy to say, honey, I'm running low on the gold bond, can you pick me up another can?

Some people just don't get it I guess, the inconsideration of it all, whether they be friends, husbands, etc. Very frustrating.
Yea, but i am not thinking about accomotation as much as trust. Trust another person who cares about you when they tell you you are not flattering your presentation to others when you wear perfume that wafts from you in a 6 foot radius! I am not focusing it on, "Sorry I am sensitive and your perfume bothers me" I am focusing it on, "there really is too much of a smell for it to be flattering and the fact that it wafts and fills the whole room and lingers after you're gone shows that. Becasue if that occurs it is way too much." I acknowledge I am sensitive to all odors in general, but this really is too much.

And I know for a fact she has a weak sense of smell, so that on top of the fact that she is immune to her own perfume (which she doesn't grasp) means she should trust her best friend telling her it is too much.
 
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