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Canadian Thanksgiving is coming up and I was wondering if anyone had any tips for cooking my Tofurky. This will be my first one and I am eagerly anticipating some faux-turkey goodness!!

About as much as a garden hose resembles a snake.
That sounds about right. If you were a fan of the moist white turkey meat then I suggest you seriously lower your expectations. If you prefer institutional grade meats or insoles, then Tofurkey is probably a good fit for you.
LOL! You really crack me up. I love your sense of humor.