[taurushead]

hi..yeah i dont normally do the 'well hey there! read what i ate today, for entertainment, then evaluate me!' but i feel really out of control. i think its the pms thing. or maybe the backlash from having plotted out the EXACT amount of every vitamin etc for so long and now eating what i feel like when i feel like it. eee.

today. (its only 1pm. got up at 6. not usually hungry. but the last two days i could've eaten a horse. its really scaring me, to be honest.)

piece of spelt bread with tomato paste and tbs of avocado

1 high fibre blueberry vegan cookie (3gms fibre, 8 sugar..from fruit juice. pfft. thats so not any better. why am i back to counting?! blame it on pms..everything is freaking me out today!), black coffee,

huge green apple, 5 almonds,

3/4 cup bio plain fat free yogurt

4 ricecakes (no marg. this time. went overboard on chocolate last night. not feeling very..oily :/ ...)...or was that not even today? not keeping track is really scary! i dont even KNOW what ive eaten! plus i couldn't resist the urge...i put in todays activities and im meant to eat like..1400 calories. OH DEAR GOODNESS. i generally average around 1800. and today im going out for dinner!

anyway..

soy latte

5 more almonds

2 ricecakes and a slice of extra light cheese (cheese is included now, wholy mackeral! i was gonna have bread but decided to quit with the so many grains thing...but that failed miserably down the track..)

a carrot

1.5 weetbix,

another high fibre cookie.

?? and im going out to dinner. meant to have greens, tempeh and rice or one of these vegan pumpkin mushroom pesto pizzas or something. i was so pumped. now really really not. and thats not til 6. and im gonna be hungry way before then. i dont know why..but i could literally cry right now. sigh. everythings been great. what is WRONG with me

and what happened to not caring? i still don't..but have this rising horrible panic. and i dont even know why. or..how. or ...AAAAAAAA.

and the stupid thing is...if i wasn't going out for dinner tonight id probably have eaten way less, because i would've had the stirfry i was craving for lunch etc but i thought id 'save' my big green veggie meal for tonight. so i filled the void with other crap. i was so determined to make today good. what the heck..is..argh..i...argh.

 

[taurushead]

..sorry to rant. i was just..really content...with life not revolving around what id eat etc. and was really excited about tonight. and now im all horrible and confused. and my normally small appetite is eating me alive. and...and..i just...yeah. no i dont know.

 

[Keelin]

Hurrah, I'm not the only one who feels out of control. I tried not planning anything today... ha! Never again. I'm blocking today out of my mind and getting back on track tomorrow.

But honestly? The freedom that comes with being able to eat what you want, when you want, without guilt is beautiful. Keep trying! Honestly, things even out enough that you don't need to plan your eating around your activity level. Your body naturally balances it- if you're at a healthy weight, you'll be hungrier after heavy activity and won't have much of an appetite if you've been mostly sedentary. Your body can take care of itself.

Have you gone out yet? If you do... eat what you want! Your body needs nutrition. 1400 calories is less than I need if I sit on my butt all day, and I'm very short. (I need 1600 calories a day with no activity.) You honestly haven't overeaten at all. I'm not saying it just to make you feel better, I'm saying it because it's true!

You just need to let yourself eat. You can do it, I believe in you!

Take care of yourself <33 If you ever want to talk, I'm here.

 

[taurushead]

thanks keelin. haven't gone out today yet. and after days of not caring i finally counted today...1200 calories and i haven't gone out to dinner yet. and i dont WANT just a salad. im so HUNGRY. what is with the appetite?! its really unnerving. and im exhausted. just fell asleep during the middle of the day. had to force myself up..oi vey.

 

[taurushead]

but you've inspired me back into not caring or counting

dinner will be AWESOME. life is tooo short..

 

[Keelin]

I feel for you with the appetite. I'm wondering if it's just my body's way of trying to save its skin? Next thing I'm going to start gnawing paint off the wall.

I hope dinner rocks!

 

[laurie15]

Quote:

Originally Posted by taurushead

what is WRONG with me

i think you know.

 

[taurushead]

keelin- ahahah true. i know! ive NEVER been this hungry. its been a real hinderance actually, i just..can't fit food in. but im STARVING. aaaaaaaaa. paint DOES look tasty...lol....

4 hours til dinner?! AS IF.. so not waiting.. eheh

 

[Keelin]

Quote:

Originally Posted by laurie15

i think you know.

Well, that wasn't snarky at all.

I'm glad things are looking brighter

I think that one of the benefits of NaNoWriMo starting is that I'm literally not going to have the time to stress over food, ha. One of these days I'm going to lose my mind.

 

[laurie15]

Keelin, I'm sorry you took it that way. It's wasn't snarky, instead, gentle prodding. My apologies. This is a serious matter.

 

[piratemoon]

Sounds reasonable to me, taurus. Enjoy yourself!!! It must be hard not to plan, but go for it!!

Most of the above are right - your body knows what it wants!

pirate x

 

[meatless]

Just eat.

The fact that you can tell us how many almonds you ate says you're definitely not overeating. And even if you were to overeat one day.... who cares? What's the worst thing that could happen?

 

[Libellula]

just eat hon

i eat over 1800 calories most days and by some calculators, that's too much. but if i eat less than that, i'm HUNGRY.

just eat!

 

[isowish]

I'm sure you were "meant" to have more than 1400 calories. I don't know where you're getting this information, but most things I've read put that as the absoloute minimum for a dieting inactive adult. Eat if you're hungry

 

[taurushead]

wow. you guys are so helpful. and eating until i wasn't hungry anymore was wonderful.

i ended up going out (whereas in years gone by i might have chosen to go to bed so id sleep through any hunger..how dumb is that? sigh. instead..i just ate more! lol) and having a blast. and slept in until 9 30 this morn, then ate whatever was at my friends house and i feel fabulous

actually no..a little bit iffy because the soy milk was wayyy outta date ...but ill survive! eheh