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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
this might seem like a weird or girly question and I don't want to but I have to ask this. What makes up a good kiss...<br><br><br><br>
Last night i went clubbing<br><br>
I met a girl<br><br>
We danced<br><br>
We started having a moment of kissing<br><br>
But then half way into it, she kinda pushed me off<br><br>
Then she went back to her friends and they were talking and looking at me.<br><br>
I thought i should go back up to her but then i thought what's the point (if she's already walked away without a word)<br><br><br><br>
I remember one of my Exes would say i was a bad kisser but I always overlooked it and never payed attention to what she's say.<br><br><br><br>
So, i'd like to hear from the women on this one.
 

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First off, you have to listen to what the person you're kissing is telling you about your kissing. No more overlooking or ignoring, OK?<br><br><br><br>
We can all tell you what we like, but what it comes down to is what does the person you're kissing like, and how good are both of you at seeking to please the other person with how you kiss?<br><br><br><br>
I had to teach my ex how to kiss me in the way I liked because he truly had no idea. The first time he kissed me it was all tongue and slobber and nastiness. I didn't want to hurt his feelings because he was genuinely trying, so I would ask him to do a little more of this, oh yeah try that again, etc., rather than saying "Ew, the way you kiss is gross and I don't want you to do that again." After I had him well down the road to kissing me the way I liked, I did tell him I'd found it nearly nauseating sometimes at the beginning. By that point, he'd decided he also liked it better the way I'd taught him.<br><br><br><br>
Some people say it's not romantic to talk with your date/partner/girlfriend about kissing before you've even landed a peck, but it might save you some heartache if you do talk about it.
 

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Good advice, Skylark. I would say just go slow and non-aggressive and build up from there based on what the other person wants.
 

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It's really difficult to explain on a forum, but generally women aren't so into aggressive kissing like a lot of guys are. I think the number one rule is to make her feel like it's about her, not just you attacking her and slobering all over her like some animal in heat. Be a bit teasing, don't force your tongue down her throat but don't keep it stuck in yuor mouth either, change the pace to suit the change in mood as you get into the kiss and use your hands. Maybe follow her cues at first and pay attention to how she communicates when kissing you. As skylark said, DON'T overlook these criticisms - kissing is a pretty big thing to women and an important form of communication, imo.
 
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oh... the tongue and slobber and nastiness <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/bigcry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":cry:"> yeah, thats not good. randomly forcing a huge wet drooly tongue into my gob then poking about with it- not a huge turn on for me. its like being invaded by an alien.<br><br><br><br>
what makes it even worse is when the snogger reeks of beer and gets all handsy right away, reading any sort of positive signal from me as a cue to dive right in there and squeeze anything and everything within reach.<br><br><br><br>
but then i find drunk guys a massive turnoff anyway.<br><br><br><br>
i'm not a kissing expert by any stretch of the imagination. but i'd say that taking your cues from the other person is an excellent plan, as is not just diving in and doing something odd completely randomly, and that reading their body language in response to what you <i>do</i> do is really important.<br><br><br><br>
its all a bit of a sensual teasy thing, innit? like a many layered event, the good snogging pash-fest whateveryoucallit.
 

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slobberyness is one thing but not enough lip is bad to, i had a bf who kissed me all tight lipped<br><br><br><br>
or sometimes kissing to hard (like pressing your face against theirs) is not so nice.<br><br><br><br>
i prefer nice passionate full kisses
 

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If you can, follow the woman's lead. Try to almost echo their kisses and respond to them rather than forcing your own pace and depth and style on them.<br><br><br><br>
I've definitely broken up with guys that were bad kissers... It really is a very, very important part of a relationship.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>synergy</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
If you can, follow the woman's lead. Try to almost echo their kisses and respond to them rather than forcing your own pace and depth and style on them.<br><br><br><br>
I've definitely broken up with guys that were bad kissers... It really is a very, very important part of a relationship.</div>
</div>
<br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/yes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":yes:"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/yes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":yes:">
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
wow. Thanks for the info ladies.<br><br>
Yea I definitely don't have a habit of slobbering but perhaps i was too aggressive or overusing tongue..<br><br><br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>jAded</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Maybe follow her cues at first and pay attention to how she communicates when kissing you.</div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
So is that basically saying respond to her rather than being the proactive one about it?
 

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Shane, for what it's worth, you was at a club. I doubt you have a problem in the kissing area. Just guessing.
 

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Kind of. I mean, show some confidence in your abilities and initiate the kiss a lot, but also try and prove that you're flexible and willing to learn, if that makes sense. It doesn't really work when you're trying to mesh two different styles into one kiss and it just ends up all over the place and both parties end up frustrated. So if a girl doesn't seem to be enjoying herself next time, get her to show you what she likes, then maybe show her what you like and you can work on that. It's a really sexy thing when a guy (or girl for that matter) allows his partner to take the lead and is willing to play the role of the student. And then when you're more confident about what pleases her, you can call the shots! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/wink3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=";)">
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>AussieShane</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br><br>
So is that basically saying respond to her rather than being the proactive one about it?</div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
Don't wait for her to initiate the kiss necessarily, but once you start kissing, follow her lead on how passionate/tonguey/forceful she wants the kiss to be.
 

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I dated someone...Lets call them person X. X was a HORRIBLE kisser. I mean, HORRIBLE. It was like X attacked your face with their slobbery mouth and mauled you, then prodded you with their tongue forcefully. I think X read my resistance as playful, because the more I tried to pull away or change things up a little- X would slobber all over my face more. It was like being attacked by a soggy plunger. It was awful. Which was a shame because X themself thought they were a great kisser. Previous exes of their had told them when X asked that X was a good kisser...not so.<br><br>
I tried to subtly hint at what I liked- When they plunged my face I would kiss slower, gentler, less tongue. But X was so sure that they were an excellent kisser that none of the signals I was sending out registered with them. Regardless I was telling X what it was I liked, and X was too busy mauling my face with drool and being overly confident that they totally messed things up. We broke up for unrelated reasons, but by that point...I dreaded kissing them and would have ended up breaking up with them anyway. Total shame because X was very good looking and I was otherwise totally attracted to them.<br><br><br><br><br><br>
Now, not saying I am perfect at these things. As much as I hate to say it I met my current boyfriend drunk at a party. The thing about drinking is- It can be seriously hard to feel your lips and the pressure you are exerting. So while you are making out with this person you might be kissing WAYYY too hard. Or too rapidly and oddly another thing that happens when you can't properly feel what it is you are doing. I say thsi from experince because buised lips arn't fun for either party even when you don't realize you are doing it! Keep this in mind while drinking.<br><br><br><br>
NEVER start a kiss open mouthed. Oh my gosh. Don't do this. EVER. Play a little bit, lead up to it. And then once you want ot use some tongue please don't force your whole tongue into my mouth and choke me with it. A playful touching of tongues is often enough.<br><br><br><br>
Read your partners signals. If I start kissing slower, or softer, or harder, I am telling you with my body language what I like. If I touch you with my hands, that is saying something too...and now always good. A hand in the hair- often a sign im into things, a hand on your side can just as easily mean I am really into what you are doing, but a change in pressure, pushing lightly with it might mean STOP. If I move away I am saying less...Closer I am saying..nope! (shocker)Not more! I am saying just right. If I start changing the pace though, then maybe I am saying more. Which doesn't mean go from a soft, slow kiss to seizing the back of my head and driving your tongue down my throat or using your lips to gum my face 1000x a minute. LISTEN TO WHAT THEY ARE TRYING TO TELL YOU!<br><br><br><br>
Don't drool on me, slober on me, make my face slick with your saliva. Moist, soft lips are nice. Wet lips are bad. Dry lips are not great to kiss too.<br><br><br><br>
Kisisng a stranger- How about instead of diving into making out you have a few kisses, pull away slightly(not too far, don't make her feel weird about it..just half an inch from her lips even) and see if she kisses you again. You need to gauge her reaction to whats happening and not your own. Don't fondle her. Just because she let you kiss her doesn't mean she wants you grabbing her ass and grinding her aggressively.<br><br><br><br>
You should have asked your ex what made you a bad kisser. When someone tells you something like that, it can hurt but it is a great way to learn and be better <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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Well, I dated a guy once who would open his mouth wide and just like move his tongue all around, and I definitely had to teach him. I was kind of shocked, like, "What the heck is he doing??" when he first kissed me... and he had had a long term relationship before me.<br><br>
Anyway, obviously everyone is different, but I would say lots of lips, some tongue, (but the tongues aren't like swirling around each other like middle schoolers kiss...) Kiss her upper lip, her lower lip, take it slow, no teeth/biting, and maybe in a moment of passion you could get a bit more aggressive, but not so much on the dance floor at a club.<br><br>
Maybe this girl just wasn't into making out on the dance floor?
 

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for me i don't like kisses that are at all slobbery. and tongue right away is too fast. i get kind of pissed off if i am kissed so hard that i can't even move my lips. kinda defeats the purpose of kissing if i can't kiss back <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br><br><br>
synergy gave good advice. every person has their own pace so it is definately good to start out a bit slow and then see how the girl reacts, and try to match your style to hers. then again, sometimes two people could be both good at kissing but it just doesn't feel good because there is no chemistry.<br><br><br><br>
if you have a chance, i think following skylarks advice is good too. When my boyfriend first kissed me I really didn't like it. Much too aggressive and slobbery. But I've taught him how to kiss me in a way that I like and it is much better now! You can always learn!<br><br><br><br>
ETA: Some girls also aren't into making out on a dance floor. I most definately am not! I'm a private person, even if I'm drunk! I would say for next time just give a couple of little kisses and pull back. If she wants to make out, trust me she won't be shy to lean in for another kiss.
 

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Soft, slow kisses are definitely a turn-on, but I'm not averse to a good bit of tonsil-hockey either....with the right guy. <img alt="" src="http://www.chickslovethecar.com/images/smileys/laugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;"><br><br><br><br><span style="color:#FFFFFF;">.</span>
 

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"I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. "<br><br><br><br>
~Crash Davis
 
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