VeggieBoards banner
1 - 13 of 13 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,104 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
hi guys

first off, im sorry that you clicked this thread. nobody should have to. and i definetely never imagined id be someone dealing wiht something like this. its odd how it hits you and you never saw it coming then suddenly its everything and the days when it wasn't..seem like some weird dream .

BUT

i just wanted to share a reminder about what's being missed out on.

because tonight i was TRULY truly care free. and instead of the night being crap for no reason (you know how sometimes you have a technically awesome night but you just don't feel it. be it due to general hopelessness, hunger, malnutrition, etc. etc. etc. ?) ..well this is the reverse.

nothing majorly fantastic has happened. in fact a few things that would normally send me off my rocker have. but im happy regardless. just content, and happy. for no particular reason. just because i can be. and it feels GREAT. and i feel so..powerful. FAR more powerful than when im the only one in the room eating 'healthily' or something like that. powerful because i CHOSE what i wanted. i did what i wanted. and loved it. and then forgot about it, and had a great night with the energy i got from that.

i dont know..it sounds silly, i just..really wanted to post that.



good luck today/tonight, guys.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Oh, taurushead - your post brought tears to my eyes. I'm so glad you are feeling happy tonight.

People with eating disorders are angels under seige. They are the sweetest, most caring people. We deserve to live and to be happy and healthy.

After 15 years of anorexia and bullimia, I had given up hope of ever being free... but now I am. And how you decribed feeling in your post is how I feel most of the time now, and its wonderful.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,144 Posts
I've just been looking at the other recent threads on ED and hell: I found quite a lot of good ideas.

Good luck to whoever needs it!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
107 Posts
I truly can't even tell you how happy it makes me that you can say that!

You should be really proud. I know I am.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,104 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
thanks mish
the idea isn't to get me pride though! its to INSPIRE YOU!! but thanks none the less. and wow, nutella, thats amazing
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
468 Posts
I think it's just persistence, hard fighting, not giving in etc. etc.

And mostly accepting that you're just going to have to live with yourself, so just try to make it as fun as possible.

I absolutely hate myself. If I had enough guts I'd most likely commit suicide right now because I loathe myself and wish nothing but death for me.

But since a tiny part of me doesn't see that as a possibility...I've decided to just make the best of it.

I don't have to like myself, I just have to live with myself.

If that makes any sense at all.

At least that's how I'm getting there.

I'm almost ED free, haven't weighed myself in ages, haven't made any diet lists, don't feel as fat as I used to after a meal...

And it's just because I didn't give in. And filled my life with other things that concern me.

Though right now I'm feeling miserable 'cause I just realised, I've wasted three years. Yes you can say they're not totally wasted, because I learnt a lot about emotions, myself and were it not for those years I'd have never become vegan. Or at least the idea wouldn't have occured to me untill much later.

But, these past three years I have given myself no chance to develop myself, my interests..what I want out of life. I was too busy being depressed and caring about little numbers that don't mean anything, but seemed oh so important at the time...

Because of that, right now I'm basically a sixteen year old in a 19 year old's body when it comes to certain aspects of life.

I truly know nothing right now (though who does hehe).

Don't know what I want, haven't been able do develop any skills or any of my passions..everything's new...don't even know what's going on in the world..I've basically lost myself or who I was before all *this*.

But anyway


I'm not going to let that get me down and coax me into starving myself again ('cause that's something I'm rather good at *rolls eyes*)..

I'm just going to take this as an opportunity to start a totally new life in which I will be strong, determined and passionate about everything I want to get out of it. Slowly.

yay.

No but seriously hehe. You just have to give it time and make sure you stay rational and decide what's best for you. That's how you beat it.. I think.

Anyway, I'm really glad you can experience that feeling again Taurushead!

Keep it up!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,104 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
ingenting-

THAT...was amazing.

congradulations. times four! ...thousand. I know things are tough right now but it sounds likeyou're getting your head around it.

things might be tricky, but they're better than they were, right? you only get one life, its better to DO things with it! or so im finding


thankyou for your post, im sure im not the only one it blew away


xoxo
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
292 Posts
aaaw man I just re-read this thread and it makes me so sad

i may actually start crying (and i'm in the library at university so that's not a good thing lol)

aaaah emotion!

actually i'm ok. phew.
 
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
Top