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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Presently we live in a company house virtually rent-free. Yet, the town that we live in has terrible schools, limited shopping etc.

Even the summer swimming program has been cancelled due to lack of funding...(There is nothing to do here!)

We are considering buying a home in Tucson. I would live there with the children (6, 9, 15, & 17) and my husband would stay here, yet we could visit every other weekend, either here or there and spend much of the summers together etc.

Tucson has a much better school system, with a quality University.

(We have 4 kids on the road to college.) We can afford a nice home, so the kids environment would improve dramatically. (Presently our closest neighbor is about a mile away and the kid's social lives are suffering.)

I would love to know what you all think about this.

Thanks.
 

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I think its great that you would consider moving to a new location to provide a better environment and opportunity for your kids. Having said that, I guess the question is whether your relationship with your husband is strong enough to survive a weekend commuter type of arrangement.

Often times, it starts off pretty good.. weekend commutes are regular. Then the kids will start to have functions on the weekends, or you may not feel up to the commute, etc and you begin to skip a weekend here and there. Before you know it, it's a month before you see one another.

I think it would need to be something to consider because, for better or worse, it has the potential to become a long distance relationship of sorts.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Robert if anything, I think time apart would help our relationship. (And he can visit us every weekend, if he wants to.) The main thing is, it is bothering both of us to see our kids grow up in this town.

But what do you think of buying a home now? Is there a housing bubble?

It all seems like a simple plan...I just have the feeling there is something that we are not thinking of...

Help...I'm scared.
 

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I grew up in a town of 300. I went to high school in a town of 400. The nearest city, Winnipeg, was an hour's drive away. We had no swimming pool, no mall, a grocery store with 2 aisles, one greasy spoon restaurant, no river or lake or forest nearby to walk or bike in, etc.

However, I am glad I grew up there rather than in the city. We also had no crime, no loud traffic, no fences around our yards, no locks on our school lockers, no hustle and bustle, etc. I only had one brother and only one friend who lived right in town (as opposed to on a farm) and I always found stuff to do.

Granted, I had a huge yard to play in.

Basically what I'm saying is that I would have rather lived there with my whole family together, and that there is lots to do in small towns, you just need a few baseball gloves, some bicycles, and an imagination. A family environment is so much more important than your living environment.
 

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I dunno if I would ever call buying a home stupid. It is an investment that generally matures in value. Once your kids are grown up, gone to college... you could sell that home and buy a smaller one for just you and your husband, with a bunch of equity from the sale of the one you buy now.

So, in my own personal opinion, given your dedication to the kids, I think it could be a wise investment for the kids in the short term, as well as for you and your husband in the long term.

I don't have a lot of faith in the status of the social security system in either of our countries. As it is, its not a lot when you qualify for it. Thus, any real estate investment that can mature would most likely pay off in the long run.
 

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Jane - She said the schools are terrible where she is. So it seems to be a different situation than the one you were in.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Our town isn't just small...it's "rough" lots of teen pregnancy, crime etc. I would never let my children be unsupervised here.

Low test scores in the school (very). Everyone seems apathetic...

My oldest daughter says it's like the town in BOYS DON'T CRY...except Hispanic.

It has it's good points, many nice people, but it just isn't me.

Good schools are #1 with me.

Also, my husband works until 7 usually...eats dinner and then rests until bedtime. It's not like he is that involved with our children, except on weekends.
 

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I say go for it. It would definitely help your children in the future as far as opportunity goes. If there isn't much to do, chances are there aren't a lot of decent job opportunities for them.

It would probably help your sanity as well.

BUT I don't think it's a great idea for your husband to remain living in another place during the week. For the first few months it probably wouldn't be that big of a deal, but in the long run I don't think it would be good for your family as a whole. Maybe he could look for new work.
 

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From a real estate stand point, buy. There may exist a housing "bubble", but any effects will be relatively short term. If you plan on holding for 5+ years, you will usually do well on your investment.

On a personal note, being a commuter husband/father ****ing sucks. BTDT, got the T-shirt. Sucks, sucks, sucks. I still get a taste of it from time to time with my travel.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Thanks everyone. I appreciate your input and support!

My husband can not leave his present job. He would never be able to earn what he does here, anywhere else and he is 51 years old...I don't want him to have to change jobs. So, this would be our new lifebasically until he retires, or we inherit big bucks.

Also, he wouldn't be the one commuting all the time... and he is good at being on his own. He was single until he was 30.
 

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Would your husband rent/own a small apartment or whatever to sleep in while he's at work? Can you reasonably pay for that and a new house?

I've never done this or seen anyone who has, but these are some of the questions I would have.
 

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Perhaps you could look into what other jobs there are in other towns for your husband, just in case you have underestimated what's out there? 'Twood be a shame to have an available opening that would be suited for him, but no one checked into it.

ETA: That sounded like I assumed that you hadn't done any/much research into the topic. Perhaps you have, in which case, I stand corrected.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
skylark, we have a company home here. We pay $100 per mo. and all utilities are free. So, he wouldn't need to rent anything else. The commute would be about 3 hours.

Actually, my husband has changed jobs in 85, 88, 94 and 97.

He is through with the whole starting over thing and I don't blame him. I know that after you turn 50, it gets a lot harder to find work, too. He is well paid and his job is secure. We wouldn't risk his job to even look for another. Loyalty is REAL big with this company.
 

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I just bought a house that is about 15 minutes further away from where I currently am, and I thought it was the biggest mistake of my life.

That was until I thought about the fact that roads are quieter, shops are cheaper, property sizes are bigger, and the schools are safer.

Oh, and beer is cheaper too (a big pulling point in my philosophy).

Moving away from somewhere for practical reasons can be quite trialling, especially if you love the place you currently are living in. But it is completely rewarding in the long-term, and your kids will love you for it.
 
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