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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'd like to think I'm above this... but I'm not sure what to do atm...<br><br><br><br>
Some of my friends made me join Friendster (<a href="http://www.friendster.com" target="_blank">www.friendster.com</a>) which is like a degrees of seperation network of people, and I don't really get the point, but its kind of neat anyway... So I've got a few of my good net friends on there, some of my friends from about life, and a few from college.<br><br><br><br>
Today I got an email from my arch nemisis from high school wanting me to confirm that I was her friend, or she was mine, or whatever so we'd be on each other's lists. I graduated high school in 1997 and I still want absolutely nothing to do with this girl. But at the same time I feel like I should grow up, its just a stupid thing. I haven't talked to her since probably my sophomore year in college when I still wanted to ring her neck for acting so high and mighty for absolutely no reason.<br><br><br><br>
What does one do in this situation? Is there Netiquette here? So far I'm just ignoring the whole thing, and not responding to the requests at all.
 

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I finished high school in 1990 and on a school friends web site some of my enemies asked me how I was and called me "mate".<br><br>
The "mate" thing isn't that bad, because friends and foes alike in Australia are often called "mate", but it was the friendliness of their messages that irked me, because I never recall agreeing to a truce or becoming friends with them (maybe the web sites "School Friends" title needs modifying).<br><br><br><br>
You aren't being petty at all.
 

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You know what? In a few years, none of that stuff will matter at all. Be the bigger person, and you will feel good in your heart. She was probably your nemesis because she was envious of you in some way, and to bluster past her own insecurities.
 

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People have different ways of looking back at the past. You probably never bothered them half as much as they bother you, so you're probably remembered with mild affection, oddly enough. Insensitivity and high school go hand in hand...
 

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Did she ever do anything specific to you? Maybe she feels bad and this is her way of saying sorry and hoping to move past it. Maybe not. Maybe she is hoping your life sucks so she can gossip about you, but I doubt it. I say give her a shot. Sometimes when you get older and out of school situations, the people you didn't like then become your best friends now. If it doesn't turn out pleasant, you don't have to remain friends with her.
 

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I agree with Erin on her first point, maybe she does feel bad. Like on Billy Madison when Adam Sandler calls guy he picked on to apologize for picking on him and the guy (Steve Buschemi) crosses his name off the list with lipstick of people to kill....kinda makes you wonder????? I do think that, if you want to, you should talk to her and she what she has to say. Afterall, it was a long time ago, you two have both grown up since then, and maybe good things can come of it. My sister became best friends with her arch enemy from high school. They were complete enemies, then she started dating the guy my sister used to date (this was about 3 years after high school). When the two of them broke up, she happened to bump into my sister and they complained about him together, which led to the most awesome friendship. It's kind of funny how it happened, but it did. Good Luck!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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Well rabid-child and kurmudgeon, maybe these people don't hold grudges a mile long. Maybe they've moved on and can grow friendships in an adult manner (which means basically "Hey, none of us are perfect...we've all made some mistakes, let's go for it anyway.")<br><br><br><br>
Of course it's up to you totally what you do, but why not give peace, and friendship, a chance.<br><br><br><br>
B
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by bethanie</i><br><br><b>Well rabid-child and kurmudgeon, maybe these people don't hold grudges a mile long. Maybe they've moved on and can grow friendships in an adult manner (which means basically "Hey, none of us are perfect...we've all made some mistakes, let's go for it anyway.")<br><br><br><br>
Of course it's up to you totally what you do, but why not give peace, and friendship, a chance.<br><br><br><br>
B</b></div>
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Mile? We don't use miles in Australia. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/tongue3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":p">
 

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Maybe this person is clueless about your animosity toward her. Like, "What? She hates me? What did I ever do to her?" I would ignore it, but I don't know the specifics.<br><br><br><br>
I just got one of those "send this to everyone you consider a friend and back to the person who sent it to you" emails from a person who actually *is* a friend, though our relationship is strained at the moment. I never return those things. I hate them. That's the thing with online stuff. It could be just forgetfulness, or something not returned on purpose. It's hard to tell. Geez, that was off topic, wasn't it?
 

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You know, bethanie, if you weren't around being an ass would be easier. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/tongue3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":p">
 

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LOL, I know. I like you too <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/wink3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=";)">
 

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If you had a legitimate reason not to like her, don't feel bad if you don't want to be her friend. There is something to be said for giving people a second chance, but you are not obligated to be friends with people you don't like. I don't think it makes you any less of a person if you choose who you do or don't associate with.<br><br><br><br>
What was the reason you didn't like her? I would agree she probably doesn't know you don't like her. I am not sure what to write back. But, it wouldn't be such a big deal to list her as a "friend", would it? It doesn't mean you need to start a correspondence with her.
 

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I would go ahead and add her to your list. I mean if she wants to be part of your "buddy list" so badly then let her.. she can just be one of those friends you only talk to once in a blue moon. Or maybe once you start chatting with her you'll get over your past differences and be the best of friends.. who knows! Good luck <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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i think that perhaps this is more of a "people you know" than a "people whom you consider real friends" sort of web site.<br><br><br><br>
were it me, i'd probably go ahead and give her permission to link me on her list and vice versa. because it is rather inconsequencial.<br><br><br><br>
i graduated in 1994, and i'm still bitter about high school things. But i also realized that i was a big pain in the you know what (pious, overzealous twit mostly).<br><br><br><br>
so there you have it.
 

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I would respond that I did go to such and such high school, but that I have absolutely no recollection of the nemesis. Who cares if the denial is plausible, it could be kind of fun.<br><br><br><br>
It's kind of weird, I went to a small high school and I always like running into old classmates. It doesn't really matter if I liked them back in high school. It's not to remember old times; it's more like reading those biographies at the end of movies. (Animal House, Fast Times @Richmont High, etc.) It's usually so much different than what you expected. Six years might not be enough for that to materialize. Respond to her in four years.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
She was one of those people who would spend her time putting other people down to make herself look/feel good. She was very insecure and accused me of sleeping with her boyfriend, cause we used to hang out (cause he and I were, and still are, friends). She knows we weren't on good terms, she wrote the most ridiculous thing in my yearbook. She's very "holier than thou" and isn't terribly intelligent despite her ability to memorize things. She has no respect for how other people are feeling and she is the most important person in the world. From what I've heard from people who have ran into her since she and I last spoke, she's just as bad, if not worse, than ever.<br><br><br><br>
I know part of it is my own insecurity about the fact that my life is going nowhere fast atm, and all I really need is to deal with her superiority complex about who knows what.<br><br><br><br>
... but at the same time I feel like I'm just being petty. lol.
 

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She doesn't (from your description, at least, which may be biased... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/wink3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=";)"> ) seem like someone you should even waste this much time on. I would just politely decline her and go on life... But I can be a very petty person, so maybe you shouldn't listen to my advice. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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I look at it this way, there are alot of people I still dislike from HS. I graduated in 1995. When I started a new job 5 months ago ther are 500 employees here and I saw a couple of girls that were complete bitches in HS, and ya know what? THEY STILL ARE! So you know what, don't put her on the list because she KNOWS if she was mean to you in HS or not. I think those type of people never change. Holding a grudge is human, being all foo-foo about *ooh make up, let's all be friends* ia alot of naive bullcrap.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by 808veggie</i><br><br><b>Holding a grudge is human, being all foo-foo about *ooh make up, let's all be friends* ia alot of naive bullcrap.</b></div>
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I love you, (wo)man. LOL<br><br><br><br>
i'm not a total freak about these sorts of things tho, i swear. i recently re-established a friendship with my best friend from elementary school who kind of "went bad" as we got older and did some **** things. we hadn't talked in about 10 yrs, but i didn't harbor any ill will!
 
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