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The things dogs try to remember:<br><br><br><br>
1 . The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.<br><br><br><br>
2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.<br><br><br><br>
3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or under the bed.<br><br><br><br>
4. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.<br><br><br><br>
5. I will not eat the cats' food, before they eat it or after they throw it up.<br><br><br><br>
6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to get sick.<br><br><br><br>
7. I will not throw up in the car.<br><br><br><br>
8. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. just because I like the way they smell.<br><br><br><br>
9. "Kitty box crunchies", although they are tasty, are not food.<br><br><br><br>
10. I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.<br><br><br><br>
11. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.<br><br><br><br>
12. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.<br><br><br><br>
13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.<br><br><br><br>
14. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.<br><br><br><br>
15. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.<br><br><br><br>
16. I will not steal my mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.<br><br><br><br>
17. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are mom & dad's laps.<br><br><br><br>
18. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.<br><br><br><br>
19. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for mom's driver's license and car registration.<br><br><br><br>
20. I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.<br><br><br><br>
21. I will not eat mint flavored dental floss out of the bathroom garbage to avoid having a string hanging out of my butt.<br><br><br><br>
22. I will not use "roll around in the dirt" as an option after just getting a bath.<br><br><br><br>
23. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello.<br><br><br><br>
24. I will not hump on any person's leg just because I thought it was the right thing to do.<br><br><br><br>
25. I will not fart in my owners face while sleeping on the pillow next to their head.<br><br><br><br>
26. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.<br><br><br><br>
27. The toilet bowl is not a never ending water supply and, just because the water is blue, it doesn't mean it is cleaner.<br><br><br><br>
28. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.<br><br><br><br>
29. Suddenly turning around and smelling my butt can quickly clear a room.<br><br><br><br>
30. The cat is not a squeaky toy so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.<br><br><br><br>
being a dog is hard... so many things to remember.
1 . The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.<br><br><br><br>
2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.<br><br><br><br>
3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or under the bed.<br><br><br><br>
4. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.<br><br><br><br>
5. I will not eat the cats' food, before they eat it or after they throw it up.<br><br><br><br>
6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to get sick.<br><br><br><br>
7. I will not throw up in the car.<br><br><br><br>
8. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. just because I like the way they smell.<br><br><br><br>
9. "Kitty box crunchies", although they are tasty, are not food.<br><br><br><br>
10. I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.<br><br><br><br>
11. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.<br><br><br><br>
12. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.<br><br><br><br>
13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.<br><br><br><br>
14. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.<br><br><br><br>
15. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.<br><br><br><br>
16. I will not steal my mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.<br><br><br><br>
17. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are mom & dad's laps.<br><br><br><br>
18. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.<br><br><br><br>
19. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for mom's driver's license and car registration.<br><br><br><br>
20. I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.<br><br><br><br>
21. I will not eat mint flavored dental floss out of the bathroom garbage to avoid having a string hanging out of my butt.<br><br><br><br>
22. I will not use "roll around in the dirt" as an option after just getting a bath.<br><br><br><br>
23. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello.<br><br><br><br>
24. I will not hump on any person's leg just because I thought it was the right thing to do.<br><br><br><br>
25. I will not fart in my owners face while sleeping on the pillow next to their head.<br><br><br><br>
26. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.<br><br><br><br>
27. The toilet bowl is not a never ending water supply and, just because the water is blue, it doesn't mean it is cleaner.<br><br><br><br>
28. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.<br><br><br><br>
29. Suddenly turning around and smelling my butt can quickly clear a room.<br><br><br><br>
30. The cat is not a squeaky toy so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.<br><br><br><br>
being a dog is hard... so many things to remember.