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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The things dogs try to remember:<br><br><br><br>
1 . The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.<br><br><br><br>
2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.<br><br><br><br>
3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or under the bed.<br><br><br><br>
4. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.<br><br><br><br>
5. I will not eat the cats' food, before they eat it or after they throw it up.<br><br><br><br>
6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to get sick.<br><br><br><br>
7. I will not throw up in the car.<br><br><br><br>
8. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. just because I like the way they smell.<br><br><br><br>
9. "Kitty box crunchies", although they are tasty, are not food.<br><br><br><br>
10. I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.<br><br><br><br>
11. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.<br><br><br><br>
12. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.<br><br><br><br>
13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.<br><br><br><br>
14. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.<br><br><br><br>
15. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.<br><br><br><br>
16. I will not steal my mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.<br><br><br><br>
17. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are mom & dad's laps.<br><br><br><br>
18. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.<br><br><br><br>
19. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for mom's driver's license and car registration.<br><br><br><br>
20. I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.<br><br><br><br>
21. I will not eat mint flavored dental floss out of the bathroom garbage to avoid having a string hanging out of my butt.<br><br><br><br>
22. I will not use "roll around in the dirt" as an option after just getting a bath.<br><br><br><br>
23. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello.<br><br><br><br>
24. I will not hump on any person's leg just because I thought it was the right thing to do.<br><br><br><br>
25. I will not fart in my owners face while sleeping on the pillow next to their head.<br><br><br><br>
26. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.<br><br><br><br>
27. The toilet bowl is not a never ending water supply and, just because the water is blue, it doesn't mean it is cleaner.<br><br><br><br>
28. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.<br><br><br><br>
29. Suddenly turning around and smelling my butt can quickly clear a room.<br><br><br><br>
30. The cat is not a squeaky toy so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.<br><br><br><br>
being a dog is hard... so many things to remember.
 

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I like these two:<br><br><br><br>
26. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.<br><br><br><br>
28. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.
 

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My dog puke up some green grass on our cream colored carpet last night.....then my son fell asleep with a "ba-ba" between his legs. Sure enough it tipped over and the entire thing spilled on our new couch. My wife woke up to a hell of a mess this morning<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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Michael- your selections are really just good sense for ANYone. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D">
 

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hehehe, these are funny! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"> A nice laugh to start my morning!
 

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31. That UPS man isn't bringing a bomb in that big box, so I don't have to attack him before the box gets inside the house.
 

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I found this one, don't know if it is a trick photo...<br><br><br><br><img alt="" src="http://www.scheurijzer.nl/images/HondenVerkeersbord.jpg" style="border:0px solid;"><br><br><br><br>
Edited: don't go to the site your self.<br><br>
It's not in english and some pages will be "shocking" to say the least.......
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I don't think anyone would have thought to go to that site... until you said don't go, and now we'll all have to check it out.
 

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I wonder if that's how popular sites get their starts: forbid people to go, and they end up there out of morbid curiousity.
 

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<a href="http://www.scheurijzer.nl/images/HondenVerkeersbord.jpg" target="_blank">http://www.scheurijzer.nl/images/HondenVerkeersbord.jpg</a><br><br><br><br>
I haven't been to the shocking site, but I am thinking about it...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D">
 

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Its a site that is focussed on car accidents.<br><br>
The board came of the funny section, but, but there is also a site with real graphic images of what can be seen after a big crash.<br><br><br><br>
Im not a sissy, but even I thought yuk.<br><br><br><br>
So <b>on your own risk</b> <a href="http://www.scheurijzer.nl/" target="_blank">http://www.scheurijzer.nl/</a><br><br><br><br>
And avoid schokkend +18 which means shocking and above 18.<br><br>
Dont say I didnt warn you !
 

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Nooo... not driver's ed... I think I'll just not go to that site and spare myself.
 
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