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Quote:
THE YEAR'S BEST (actual) HEADLINES OF 2006

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter

Imagine that!

Something Went Wrong in Jet

Crash, Expert Says


No, really?

Police Begin Campaign to Run

Down Jaywalkers


Now that's taking things a bit far!

Panda Mating Fails;

Veterinarian Takes Over


What a guy!

Miners Refuse to Work

after Death


No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!

Juvenile Court to Try

Shooting Defendant


See if that works any better than a fair trial!

War Dims Hope for Peace

I can see where it might have that effect!

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly,

It May Last Awhile


You think?!

Cold Wave Linked to

Temperatures


Who would have thought!

Enfield Couple Slain;

Police Suspect Homicide


They may be on to something!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!

Man Struck By Lightning:

Faces Battery Charge


He probably IS the battery charge!

New Study of Obesity Looks for

Larger Test Group


Weren't they fat enough?!

Astronaut Takes Blame for

Gas in Spacecraft


That's what he gets for eating those beans!

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Taste like chicken?

Local High School Dropouts

Cut in Half


Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

Hospitals are Sued by

7 Foot Doctors


Boy, are they tall!

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through

Cemetery; Hundreds Dead


Did I read that right?
 

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