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The truth about women and sex<br><br><br><br>
January 28 2003<br><br><br><br><br><br>
In 2001 Viagra earned Pfizer a cool $US1.5 billion ($A2.53 billion). Not surprisingly, the company would like to sell its little blue pill to women as well as men, and envious competitors are keen to develop their own Viagra-like products for women.<br><br><br><br>
But there's a problem. Women do not suffer the same physical problems with sex as men, and you cannot market a drug unless there is an accepted clinical need for it. So what's a company to do? Answer: invent a condition called "female sexual dysfunction" (FSD) and persuade experts to claim a whopping 43 per cent of women suffer from it at some time.<br><br><br><br>
That, at least, was the charge levelled at the drugs industry this month. In a bold attack that made headlines across the world, the British Medical Journal argued that the prevalence of female sexual problems was being exaggerated by researchers with financial links to the drug industry. Though by no means the first or only case of everyday biological life being medicalised, FSD was, said the journal, "the freshest, clearest example that we have of the corporate-sponsored creation of a disease".<br><br><br><br>
As someone who has researched female sexuality for more than two decades, I have just one quibble with this attack: it doesn't go far enough. The pharmaceutical industry is guilty not just of cynical, money-grabbing exaggeration; it has also misunderstood the basics of female sexuality. It is not women who need to change, or be made different through drugs, but the drug industry's outdated notion of how couples should have sex.<br><br><br><br>
The arguments of those who claim that female sexual dysfunction is real have a veneer of sophistication. Many, for instance, like to point to four distinct categories: lack of desire, lack of arousal, pain during intercourse, and lack of orgasm. It's the lack of arousal variety of "dysfunction" that Pfizer thinks Viagra can solve. But in reality none of these categories is independent of the others. Anticipating pain will kill off desire. An arousal pill may be a costly waste of time if the root cause of that lack of arousal is not addressed.<br><br><br><br><br><br>
My research, based on the testimonies of thousands of women, points to a lack of orgasm during coitus as a crucial and common underlying reason why many women become disenchanted and uninterested in sex. Most women don't orgasm regularly during coitus. But does that mean they need pills to help them? Not a bit of it. Merely making women more receptive to sex will not lead to more orgasms. What might do so is recognising the truth about the mechanics of female orgasm.<br><br><br><br>
To this end, the drug industry should pay more attention to masturbation. The overwhelming majority of women, according to my research, can have orgasms easily during masturbation. So why not also during coitus? The answer is that during masturbation women choose to stimulate the clitoral or pubic area. Only rarely - in 2 per cent of cases - does it involve vaginal penetration.<br><br><br><br>
In other words, the stimulation women give themselves to reach orgasm is - unlike that used by men - radically different from the stimulation most women receive during coitus. So it is not at all surprising that the rate of orgasm during coitus is low.<br><br><br><br>
It has been accepted for at least two centuries that women can masturbate "clitorally" to orgasm. Yet even today the definition of what we call sex is focused on coitus as the time when both people should reach orgasm via the same type of stimulation. Even in supposedly sophisticated pornographic material, clitoral stimulation is used only as a warm-up and is never depicted all the way to orgasm. It is this limited definition of sex that is at fault, not women's bodies: sex should be composed not only of coitus but also of clitoral stimulation, by hand or mouth.<br><br><br><br>
So why isn't it? Freud proclaimed that at puberty, girls should transfer their need for clitoral stimulation to the vagina; later, psychiatrists went on to label lack of orgasm during coitus a disease or a dysfunction. For these and other reasons, a version of sex took hold that put male orgasm before female orgasm, reflecting the subservient position of women in society as a whole.<br><br><br><br>
But if notions of sex in the past excluded clitoral stimulation out of a sort of prejudice against non-reproductive activity, it is time for people to move on. In these days of equality, sex is supposed to be an act that brings two people together.<br><br><br><br>
Drug companies that set out to "solve the problem of female orgasmic dysfunction" risk making matters worse if they neglect this and focus simply on female readiness to participate in sex. Putting money into supposed treatments that don't work could mean financing unhappiness and divorce, leaving women's feelings invisible or unexplained, and placing men on insecure ground. It risks fostering an atmosphere of fear and confusion in which love, including intense sexual intimacy and experimentation, needlessly becomes an area of conflict rather than pleasure.<br><br><br><br>
Women know how to have orgasms but do not feel free to express this during sex with men. It's not arousal pills we need, but a whole new kind of physical relations with each other.<br><br><br><br>
Dr Shere Hite, a US-based researcher on female sexuality, is the author of The Hite Report. This article first appeared in New Scientist (<a href="http://www.newscientist.com" target="_blank">www.newscientist.com</a>).<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br>
This story was found at: <a href="http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/01/27/1043534001783.html" target="_blank">http://www.theage.com.au/articles/20...534001783.html</a>
 

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<i>But if notions of sex in the past excluded clitoral stimulation out of a sort of prejudice against non-reproductive activity, it is time for people to move on. In these days of equality, sex is supposed to be an act that brings two people together</i> .<br><br><br><br>
True. I think in the past women's enjoyment was an afterthought.<br><br>
It helps the partner know what get's her to the big O if the woman herself knows and then can communicate it.<br><br><br><br><i>Women know how to have orgasms but do not feel free to express this during sex with men.</i><br><br><br><br>
I disagree with this statement. I think it should read that <i>Some</i> women know how to have..blah blah...cause some women don't know how. And that's really sad.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by mushroom</i><br><br><b><br><br>
My research, based on the testimonies of thousands of women, points to a lack of orgasm during coitus as a crucial and common underlying reason why many women become disenchanted and uninterested in sex.<br><br></b></div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
How will orgasm from clitoral stimulation prevent women from being uninterested in coitus? These can be distinguished. She would need to show research of such a connection to prove her point.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Stem wrote: "How will orgasm from clitoral stimulation prevent women from being uninterested in coitus?<br><br><br><br>
I think what she meant was, that over time...when this is all women receive, they become frustrated and lose interest. I think a lot of men stop after coitus...<br><br><br><br>
In my experience and talking to friends...men always reach orgasm. Every time. Where women do less than half the time.<br><br>
Now, that is just me and my circle of friends...not all women.
 

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If men do too many prescription pills, basically in my experience muscle relaxers, they can't even get it up much less orgasm. Pot affects it too.<br><br><br><br>
I think for woman the lack of orgasm is partly due to lack of emotional connection with the partner, mental perceptions as to what a woman's role is in the process and the value she has given it, and lastly physical limitations. I think that a pill may help a very small percentage of woman, those women affected mostly by the physical. But most that have trouble won't find success in a pill because the lack of having an orgasm IMO is symptomatic of other underlying issues.
 

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I agree with What Ms.RuthieB. has said.<br><br>
I'm uncomfortable writing this, but I think it needs to be said... for me personally, clitoral stimulation will bring me to orgasm 100 percent of the time. While, coitus positions that doesn't involve clitoral stimulation will only bring me to orgasm about 50 percent of the time, no matter how erotic, or sensual that position may be. Which doesn't mean I don't like those positions, just that I know there are no guarantees of going to the promised land.<br><br>
When having talked to my sisters and girlfriends about this, they have pretty muched agreed. The only ones unable to reach orgasm at all, are the ones that have been traumatized by past abuse, or rape.
 

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i agree with ruthie and baby too...like ruthie said, i think some of it has to do with emotional connection, at least for me it does. it took me a strike but when i got to the right person (and uh, person after that) i was/am able to reach orgasms (multiple even, woohoo!) every time during sex. but yeah, in discussions with friends i don't think that is the norm. so i consider myself lucky for sure. but it is true that the solo orgasm vs the intercourse orgasm are completley differnt. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br>
i think if i had problem with reaching the big o, (or the promised land, as baby put it, heh- nice one!) i would probably be willing to take a pill IF it did work..but i have doubts about that. then again, i wont even go on birth control so i probably wouldnt feel comfortable about a different pill. it just seems whacked out to me.
 

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Just to clearify, I wasn't refering to masterbation only, when talking about clitorial stimulation. I was including intercourse that involves a position that puts pressure, and/or movement, against the clitoris.
 

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That's why the woman on top is most favorite, IMO. Controlling the position....<br><br><br><br>
I gotta admittedly stay outta this thread...I'm at work and starting to get horny <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D"> Not good!
 

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exactly, ruthie. i need to step away from this thread too.<br><br><br><br>
4..more...days. (oh if he knows what's best for him he will visit this weekend!).<br><br><br><br>
and yes, woman on top is the way to go.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Baby said "While, coitus positions that doesn't involve clitoral stimulation will only bring me to orgasm about 50 percent of the time, no matter how erotic, or sensual that position may be."<br><br><br><br>
I can never have an orgasm without clitoral stimulation...except in dreams...I wonder why.
 

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Vaginal stimulated orgasms can take some doing. What might help is to first decide not to put any pressure on yourself about whether you get there, or not. Second, relax, and connect into your breath, breathing through your nose. This is of course, while your having sex...anyway, when you exhale contract your vaginal walls and when you inhale release. Continue to do this without struggling, or feeling as if your exercising, and see what, if anything comes of it. Lol, bad joke.<br><br>
I really don't think most men realize how important clitoral stimulation is to a woman, especially, if there getting their ideas on sex through magazines or pornos. We need to be more vocal about in teaching men how to please us. I remember how defensive, and inept, my current bf was when I tried to gently let him know what to do. I had to explain to him that he shouldn't be expected to know how to please me by osmosis. Everyone is different, and it's not a measure of his manhood to have to slow down, and find out what does it for me. He was very shy about it at first, but has scince really become a much better lover, I think we're both happier. If he ever read this, he would die!
 

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I think it is partly my advanced age, and partly knowhow -- that allows me to talk about this subject matter without getting horny.<br><br><br><br>
While this can be an interesting discussion, and many of you have made good points, I wanted to point out that for men or women -- having an orgasm is just not extremely important. Issues like getting enough to eat, or getting out of the water and getting air, getting away from the predator who want to kill you -- can be more important. It is only when we have our needs for food, shelter, clothing, and air, and getting out of danger, are met, that we have the luxury of worrying about getting orgasms or not.<br><br><br><br>
Yet this seems to be what many people in the industrialized west focus on -- while people in other parts of the world don't have the time or the inclination to think about such things.<br><br><br><br>
Yes, for humanity to survive it has long been the case than males needed to have orgasms, and female orgasms were "optional."<br><br><br><br>
Further, if men make absolutely no effort to have an orgasm, we are going to eventually have one anyway, even if we have to have one in our sleep. So in order for men to have an orgasm, discussing orgasms or thinking about what is necessary -- is not necessary for us. it is optional. Men are going to have orgasms -- we can depend on it -- eventually -- the way women can depend on eventually having a periodic menstrual flow. Only ours are not periodic. That's right, gamete-release in the male requires orgasm; gamete-release in the female requires requires menstruation -- that is -- per FemmeDemonica's correction -- a <i>menstrual cycle</i>. For women -- and I could be mistaken -- they can depend on periodic menstruation happening -- I'm going to also chage "periodic menstruation" -- to "a menstrual cycle" -- women can depend on <i>a menstrual cycle happening</i> -- even if they don't think about it -- but they can't depend on an orgasm happening. Some women apparently have gone years and years without ever having an orgasm. I don't think any men have gone more than several weeks. I could be wrong. But this is what I have concluded from my observations and conversations. Anyone think differently?
 
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