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<a href="http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/the-second-time-you-fall-in-love-with-someone/#.Tma4vV7S-5U.facebook" target="_blank">http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/the-s...7S-5U.facebook</a><br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">The second time you fall in love with someone, you’re going to feel so relieved. When you get your heart broken for the first time, you can’t imagine loving someone else again or having someone else love you. You worry about your ex finding love before you do, you worry about being damaged goods. And then it happens. Someone else loves you and you can sleep well at night.<br><br>
The second time you fall in love with someone, it’s going to feel different. The first time felt like a dream almost. You were untouched, untainted by anyone. You accepted love with wide open arms and desperation. “Love me, love me, love me!” So you did. And then it fell apart and left you shocked to the core. You realized that people could be cruel and break your heart.<br><br>
You realized that people could stop meaning the sweet things they said to you just yesterday. So when you go into it again, you’re going to keep in mind everything that you’ve learned. You’re going to say, “Love me, love me, love me…until you don’t. In which case, I would like some advance warning. Thanks!”</div>
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An insightful little piece that's a great read for anyone who has ever had a horrible breakup (AKA most of us <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/tongue3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":p">) Things do get better!
 

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That is a well-worded article. So much of it is true. I think I have been hurt too badly too many times to fall deeply in love with anyone again. My first thoughts when I meet a woman who seems a little interested in me is how badly is this going to end or what is she after. I no longer think "true love" really exists. Most couples just put up with each other. Except maybe Mormons. I heard they are bubbly all the time.
 

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I don't want to fall in love again, and yet i do, i want to be alone, yet i hate being alone. I don't trust anything anymore, because when you first meet a person they say who they are, then you find out who they really are, so the net person you believe they are lying and you won't really know them until you've been with them for like a year. My ex told me he was a nice guy, well he really really wasn't, so i don't trust any guys that say it because it's all bs and my ex damaged me beyond repair, nobody wants to deal with another persons heavy baggage.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>AlixJ18</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2987785"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I don't want to fall in love again, and yet i do, i want to be alone, yet i hate being alone. I don't trust anything anymore, because when you first meet a person they say who they are, then you find out who they really are, so the net person you believe they are lying and you won't really know them until you've been with them for like a year. My ex told me he was a nice guy, well he really really wasn't, so i don't trust any guys that say it because it's all bs and my ex damaged me beyond repair, nobody wants to deal with another persons heavy baggage.</div>
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As a guy, I have had to deal with other women's baggage and their assumptions about me. Don't assume anything about someone you meet. You have to pay attention to the signs and yes, there are signs. I'm sure you know some of them. Do your research and learn more. Not all guys are a-holes. It's like sifting for gold. You have to go through a lot of dirt to find a winner.
 

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Ehh i think i'd rather just not do any sifting lol, and stay alone forever, i don't even trust that i would stay in love, i think you fall in love then fall out, and i see no point to it.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>AlixJ18</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2987785"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I don't want to fall in love again, and yet i do, i want to be alone, yet i hate being alone. I don't trust anything anymore, because when you first meet a person they say who they are, then you find out who they really are, so the net person you believe they are lying and you won't really know them until you've been with them for like a year. My ex told me he was a nice guy, well he really really wasn't, so i don't trust any guys that say it because it's all bs and my ex damaged me beyond repair, <b>nobody wants to deal with another persons heavy baggage.</b></div>
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Nope, not true. I have some serious issues and my partner loves me anyway. The right person will love you and help you.<br>
I'm not going to say that no one is beyond repair - but time can do a lot more to help than you can imagine, it really can.
 

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I'm extremely desperate to fall in love, but I blame it on hormones, basically like everything else.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>sleepydvdr</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2987790"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
As a guy, I have had to deal with other women's baggage and their assumptions about me. Don't assume anything about someone you meet. You have to pay attention to the signs and yes, there are signs. I'm sure you know some of them. Do your research and learn more. Not all guys are a-holes. It's like sifting for gold. You have to go through a lot of dirt to find a winner.</div>
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You're saying "don't assume anything about me" and then in the statement below you make assumptions about the women you meet who seem interested in you.<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>sleepydvdr</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2987780"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br><b>My first thoughts when I meet a woman who seems a little interested in me is how badly is this going to end or what is she after.</b></div>
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If you are going to make assumptions about women don't you think you should really to give these women a break over making assumptions about men? I found that my relationships became longer lasting and happier when I cut the bull**** and stopped calling out my BF's for the same crap that I was doing myself. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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I am 25 and have had a number of relationships. My current boyfriend is the first man I have ever told "I love you" and he says I am the only woman besides his mother he has ever said it to. We dated over a year before we felt right saying it, but I can feel in my heart that it is genuine and true. It made me realize that in all the relationships past, some of them several years old, the feelings I thought I felt from time to time, we just lust, never anything more. I think it's true what they say. When you find the right one, you know.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Myria</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2987794"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I have some serious issues and my partner loves me anyway. The right person will love you and help you.</div>
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<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/yes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":yes:">
 

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Falling in love?<br><br>
Now that is a foreign concept for me.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Nishani</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2988470"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
You're saying "don't assume anything about me" and then in the statement below you make assumptions about the women you meet who seem interested in you.<br><br>
If you are going to make assumptions about women don't you think you should really to give these women a break over making assumptions about men? I found that my relationships became longer lasting and happier when I cut the bull**** and stopped calling out my BF's for the same crap that I was doing myself. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"></div>
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I know I'm wrong on that. It's hard to keep an open mind. But it's a moot point. Women show so little interest in me these days, the problem may not come up again. Haven't been on a date in 6 years.
 

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I believe that love is basically a chemical reaction nature invented to get things to have sex with each other, combined with the human need for friends and companionship.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>vegkid</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2989117"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I believe that love is basically a chemical reaction nature invented to get things to have sex with each other, combined with the human need for friends and companionship.</div>
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It really is! But that doesn't make it any less wonderful <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D"><br><br>
The chemical part is CRAZY, it really messes with your head. As the article in the OP describes the first time it hits you it really really hits you, it's like an intense drug that turns you into an irrational weirdo for awhile. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/tongue3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":p">
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Werewolf Girl</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2989134"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
As the article in the OP describes the first time it hits you it really really hits you, it's like an intense drug that turns you into an irrational weirdo for awhile. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/tongue3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":p"></div>
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That it did. I needed it though. She didn't have any interest in me whatsoever, but I needed to know I was capable of feeling something, even if it wasn't returned. Who knows what I'd be doing today if I hadn't fallen in love that first time and at least had a taste of purpose outside of the military?<br><br>
This time around, the second relationship I've ever been in, things are much more clear. Very comfortable relationship, baby due in two months, I honestly couldn't be happier. But it was that first taste of what it was like (and about a year of turmoil to accompany it) that ultimately set me on this path.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>vegkid</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2989117"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I believe that love is basically a chemical reaction nature invented to get things to have sex with each other, combined with the human need for friends and companionship.</div>
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That's lust and infatuation.<br><br>
Love-true, deep, pure, unadulterated love is so much more.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Kibbleforlola</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2989209"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
That's lust and infatuation.<br><br>
Love-true, deep, pure, unadulterated love is so much more.</div>
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<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/yes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":yes:"> Love is what remains after that initial period of infatuation fades, it's deeper and when you feel it you know.<br><br>
My experience has been eerily similar to what the article described. My first love hit me like a smack in the face when I wasn't expecting it and I lost my head completely. We had a really intense relationship that only lasted about a month and then blew up with a really painful breakup. I recognize now that it was mostly infatuation and not real love but that feeling can be so intense it's hard to think straight when you're in it.<br><br>
Then with my second (and current) love I was a lot more cautious and scared of getting hurt again. It took months of chatting online before I even agreed to meet him, and then when I did we really eased into things and became friends first. When we started dating we fell in love hard but I was SCARED, the first 6 months of our relationship I kept waiting for things to crash and burn again, and I kept expecting that feeling to fade between us again but it never did. Instead that initial rush of crazy lust and obsession faded and when it did a different and better feeling was still there and it never left. He makes me feel comfortable and safe in a way I never had before. It's swell <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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I'm talking to a guy i haven't met in person yet, i've been annoyingly a debbie downer, and he knows all my problems, and seems to be accepting me, and i know that means there has to be something very wrong with him lol, like he's going to murder me or something.
 

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^ I think you will be ok, Alix, it will take time to learn to relax and trust again. But there are good people out there and you may just have one there : )<br><br>
Werewolf Girl, thank you for posting this article, it was very comforting for me to read, being in between relationships.
 
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