[jeezycreezy]

Just because someone I care deeply about said VB was a little too slow (he and I are the Vladimir and Estragon of VB) and a little too serious just now, I thought we could all swap some stories of the amusing things that happen in our lives that aren't necessarily specific to veg*nism.

Or you could just say something silly or amusing; whatever slices your bread man.

Way I figure, we could all use a little amusement in our VB lives while we're waiting for pages to load.

Here's my anecdote.

This cute little African-American-Canadian girl came to the door last night; I only answered it because I was expecting my friend Matt otherwise I would have ignored her.

We had the following conversation:

Angel: Hi. My name is Angel and I'm from SAC [she pauses to look at her badge so as to prompt her memory] which is the Society For The Assistance of Charities [right there I'm thinking that a charity that helps charities sounds about as likely as a personal injury lawyer who genuinely wants to help people] and I am selling chocolate bars to raise money.

Me: Oh, I'm sorry. We're allergic to chocolate.

Angel: You can also donate one dollar.

Me: I'm sorry honey. We're allergic to money too.

This poor kid looked like I just told her there was no such things as Santa Claus. (Which, if you're reading this Angel, there isn't.)

Me: Good luck, though, with raising money for your charitable charity. [Closing door] Bye now!

And people sometimes suggest that I might change my mind about wanting kids some day.

Cheers!

TJ

 

[troub]

lol.

I was walking out of a Kroger once and some kids were like "Do you want to buy some candy bars so we can go to Cedar Point?"

I wanted to ask if they had any donations to give so I could go to cedar point, but I just said "no thanks"

 

[Poppy]

Yesterday I was walking one of my Chihuahuas at a mall (one that actually encourages dogs!), when an old man called out "That sure looks like a vicious dog!". I said "Want to find out? I dare you to pet her!" He just kind of grinned and said "Naw, I don't think so..." Funny, a five pound dog really does scare some people!

 

[mayuko]

so this one time, this overzealous bible thumper type followed me and my friend downtown, trying really hard to convert us. she told us she had a vision of jesus, in her bedroom, and he loved her like mary magdalene.

OH. EM. GEE.

 

[jeezycreezy]

Okay, I was waiting for my nachos to heat up tonight, already looking for something to snack on later. What can I say? I like to plan ahead.

So, anyway, I opened the cupboard where I spied my wife's cereal. I haven't had cereal in a while, so I thought I'd read the ingredients to see if they were vegan.

I was at first disappointed when I saw they contained honey...and then I felt like a COMPLETE tool for not realizing sooner that Honey Nut Cheerios contained honey.

Anyone else ever have a brain fart moment like that?

Cheers!

TJ

 

[writetheway]

Totally. I hit myself over the head with a stick yesterday...I think my brain really might have melted from the heat this summmer.

 

[Moechalatte]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mayuko

so this one time, this overzealous bible thumper type followed me and my friend downtown, trying really hard to convert us. she told us she had a vision of jesus, in her bedroom, and he loved her like mary magdalene.

OH. EM. GEE.

Ah, don't you love those moments?

I had an interesting one in high school - after a fairly new friend of mine invited me over to her house, her mom started drilling me with religious questions. I finally gave up and bluntly said, "I don't go to church. I'm not religious." She responded with "Ohh... that's really too bad. And you seemed like such a sweet kid," and never allowed me back into her home. All the while her daughter is dating guys twice her age... hmmm.

 

[Iria]

If we're telling Bible thumper stories I have one too... It's not mine and I don't remember who told it to me, but it always makes me laugh.

Background: The SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism) is a global organization whose sole purpose is for people to dress up in medieval clothing and hit each other with foam swords (actually it's more than that and it's a lot of fun, but that's another story).

Anyway, there was an SCA revel at this guy's house. Everyone was all dressed up and having a grand old time. The doorbell rang and a man wearing a loincloth and horned helmet answered it. On the other side were some young people with Bibles. One of them started to stammar out her spiel, and the loincloth guy turned around and yelled for house's owner. "Yo! We've got Christians!" When he turned around, they were gone.

 

[SuicideBlonde]

I applied at a reptriable salon cahin last week and saw a little tiny girl who worked there who had horriable 80s looking wig hair. I mean it looked realy bad. She came up to me and asked if I could be her pratic model for a new cut. I said no I am tring to grow it back out. She almost begs. The I said no thank you. She looked at the back of my hair and says, well it is to short anyway.

Another point I am glad I did not get a call back from them today because I fixed sooo many of their cuts. And all the traning to learn their cuts at min wage.

 

[Skylark]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mayuko

so this one time, this overzealous bible thumper type followed me and my friend downtown, trying really hard to convert us. she told us she had a vision of jesus, in her bedroom, and he loved her like mary magdalene.

OH. EM. GEE.

Had she just watched The Da Vinci Code? Most fundies hate the idea of Jesus and Mary Magdalene as an item. (Well, for that matter, I don't care for it myself.)

---

The building I work in is being renovated, so the construction people sometimes put signs on things to tell us not to touch the wet paint, not to use this door, etc. Out of the blue, a sign went up on the bathroom door, saying, "Do not drink the tap water."

The other reporters and I wondered at it, partly because it never occured to use before that to drink the tap water. We all use the Culligan water cooler in the break room.

Several days later, a reporter got an email from an enraged citizen reacting to a story he had written. The citizen intended to insult the reporter, but it came off hilariously. The reporter gave an exaggerated sniff and told the entire newsroom, "I'm so upset I think I'll go to the bathroom and drink the tap water."