[luvourmother]

My SO eats like a pig. He pretty much always has and I used to get on him about it often. Over the years we stopped going out so much and I guess I've been ignoring it, but lately my mom has made several comments about my sister's husband eating like a pig and how much it bothers her. Last time we ate with my parents I ended up apologizing to my mom for my SO's bad manners at the table and she admitted it was pretty gross too.

I'm not sure what else to do? Should I just accept that he eats like a pig?

I cook beautiful meals almost everyday and it kind of hurts my feelings that he chews and talks with his mouth full. When I would tell him this years ago he would take offense and it would result in an argument or being generally pissed at eachother. i luv food but sometimes lose my appetite when I watch him eat

 

[Forster]

Other than talks with mouthful please define "eats like a pig".

Couldn't help but be reminded of this classic scene:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_Y4eGJIoCE

 

[Fatman]

Quote:

Originally Posted by luvourmother

My SO eats like a pig. He pretty much always has and I used to get on him about it often. Over the years we stopped going out so much and I guess I've been ignoring it, but lately my mom has made several comments about my sister's husband eating like a pig and how much it bothers her. Last time we ate with my parents I ended up apologizing to my mom for my SO's bad manners at the table and she admitted it was pretty gross too.

I'm not sure what else to do? Should I just accept that he eats like a pig?

I cook beautiful meals almost everyday and it kind of hurts my feelings that he chews and talks with his mouth full. When I would tell him this years ago he would take offense and it would result in an argument or being generally pissed at eachother. i luv food but sometimes lose my appetite when I watch him eat

Return the favor.
I did it once at my inlaws, (they all wait till the shove food in their mouths before they talk)
I got tired of looking at it, so instead of just looking straight at my plate when everyone ate, I decided to join in.
I shoved my mouth full of food and just started talking to them, I was dribbling food down my shirt, shooting it across the table from my mouth when I talked, I took a drink and let it dribble down etc...

it was fun at the moment, but if I remember correctly, the wife was not as amused as I hoped she would be.

 

[AspireToInspire]

I have one like this, my major annoyances were the chewing with the mouth open and the lengthy chewing of a huge piece of food in the cheek. I feel your pain. Like much else over the years I have decided to tune it out for my own sanity. I don't want to constantly be nagging. It does bum me out that we can't eat anywhere nice but he's not into eating at places like that anyhow and we don't really eat much together anymore these days with schedule and him being an omni.

How does his family eat? If you haven't noticed, I suggest you do and perhaps that will enlighten you to how oblivious he is to it and how much of a learned behavior this may be.

It worked the opposite way with me. My mother talks with her mouth full, I mean really full to the point her speech is garbled. I can't be around her when she eats. My brother gets in a zone, breathes really loudly and kind of moans as well as slurps, it pissed me off so bad being around as he always ate cereal when we were kids and upon a recent trip to visit I discovered he still does this at 32 years old. My dad does the loud breathing thing too but I suspect he is also losing his hearing and/or needs to go to the doctor for a good ear cleaning (not being funny, my husbands grandmother had to do this and she hears well now). Perhaps this is why I am so self aware when I am eating. Don't get me wrong, I am not shy about the food... I mind my manners.

It also raises my blood pressure when people reach over and take your food without asking or in the case of my husband actually ask for a bite but fit as much as humanly possible in their mouth. Especially when said people didn't order much for themselves.

 

[luvourmother]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Forster

Other than talks with mouthful please define "eats like a pig".

chews with mouth open, takes bites much too big for his mouth, doesn't finish chewing whats in his mouth before taking another bite.

he was sick a few weeks ago and barfed in the frontyard, i was cleaning it and noticed whole beans and pasta shapes from lunch that didn't even get chewed at all.

 

[luvourmother]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AspireToInspire

How does his family eat? If you haven't noticed, I suggest you do and perhaps that will enlighten you to how oblivious he is to it and how much of a learned behavior this may be.

s.

you are right about his family, they have different habits. like they don't talk at all during dinner, which is why i think he talks with his mouth full, but now he is used to talking during dinner, i try not to but he still does it, especially when we are out with my family.

also in vietnamese culture when you eat pho it is meant to be slurped, he applies this to all soups not just pho...

 

[Forster]

Quote:

Originally Posted by luvourmother

chews with mouth open, takes bites much too big for his mouth, doesn't finish chewing whats in his mouth before taking another bite.

he was sick a few weeks ago and barfed in the frontyard, i was cleaning it and noticed whole beans and pasta shapes from lunch that didn't even get chewed at all.

Ahh, he's a shoveler...

To be honest unless you want another fight probably going to have to let it go. Lifelong eating manners are hard to change. Even if you secretly filmed him and showed him how he looks while eating, he probably won't change.

 

[Beetlejuice]

deleted

 

[Irizary]

I really wouldn't want to put up with that. Is there something he might want you to change, or something that you can do for him, and you can either work on changing those things together, or give him something as incentive for changing himself? He may not want to change for himself, but if he's grossing you out and making people uncomfortable, he should try to change anyway.

 

[YellowRose]

Instead of "getting on him" for it, try saying something...when you *aren't* at the table, so it's not putting him on the spot. "Hey, look, I really don't want to hurt or upset you, but your table manners really bother me sometimes and make it difficult for me to enjoy our meals together. Is that something you'd be willing to work on for me? Do I have any habits that bother you that you'd like to tell me about?"

This way, it's not nagging, mothering or an attack. Granted, he still might get offended, and if this approach doesn't work then it might be time to drop the issue for the sake of peace. Unless he has a close friend or close family member who might be willing to talk to him in the same way, so he can see that it isn't just you who doesn't like it.

 

[Tinoberserker]

Quote:

Originally Posted by luvourmother

he was sick a few weeks ago and barfed in the frontyard,

Bad table manners pale in comparison to bad front yard manners.

 

[stasher]

Quote:

Originally Posted by luvourmother

My SO eats like a pig. He pretty much always has and I used to get on him about it often. Over the years we stopped going out so much and I guess I've been ignoring it, but lately my mom has made several comments about my sister's husband eating like a pig and how much it bothers her. Last time we ate with my parents I ended up apologizing to my mom for my SO's bad manners at the table and she admitted it was pretty gross too.

I'm not sure what else to do? Should I just accept that he eats like a pig?

It seems like you had accepted it up until your mum began to comment about your sisters husband.

i guess you have to ask yourself why you feel differently about it now?

 

[luvourmother]

Quote:

Originally Posted by stasher

It seems like you had accepted it up until your mum began to comment about your sisters husband.

i guess you have to ask yourself why you feel differently about it now?

"he pretty much always has and I used to get on him about it often"

It has always bothered me and I used to tell him constantly to not talk with food in his mouth etc. I stopped doing this because it wasn't working and only resulted in us arguing. I don't want to be his 'mom' and i felt like it when i had to constantly remind him to use better manners. We stopped going out as much and our schedules changed where we don't eat at home together as regular as we used to so this factored in with being at my wits end with constantly reminding him led to no discussion about it for a few years.

 

[penny79]

I don't find people without manners attractive. :/ At all.