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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So, I am 22 and living at home. It is unfeasible for me to move out right now (Cost is the main problem) and we are almost at blows with each other. I am sometimes scared to come home not knowing what mood she will be in. (I swear that she is bipolar, but she would never admit it).

What do I do? How can I survive this without going to jail for justifiable homicide?

Sorry for the rant, I just needed someone to talk to and I had no idea where to go....

Anni
 

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Umm. I'm not sure what to suggest since I don't know your whole situation. But I do understand where you're coming from. I had to live with my parents a couple summers ago when I was 21 and I almost went crazy. The only reason I got through it was because I got a factory job that gave me shiftwork, 12 hours/day or night, depending on the week. Basically all I did was work or sleep, so I hardly saw my crazy mother. Of course I don't know if that's a plausable solution for you, but spending as little time as possible at home definately helps.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahjayn1980 View Post

What are you doing to help the situation? (That's an honest question, not a veiled criticism . . . I don't want to suggest something you've tried.)
I'm in college, I have a job, I contribute to household expenses to the best of my abilities, I try to help around the house, but to quote my mom I "never do it right." and should "Just leave it alone".
 

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Annikat, my heart goes out to you. I lived with my parents until I was 22, as well, and it drove me nuts those past two to three years. I hated the constant questions and being treated like a teenager. Now that I've been living on my own for... oh... seven months, I really like it. Not that this helps you any.

If your mom tells you you're not doing housework up to her standards and you should leave it alone, have you tried doing that? Does she get upset if you clean up your messes but leave the actual cleaning to her?
 

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Oh dear, I can so relate! I'm living at home too now which is just so horrible after not having to answer to ANYONE for the past year. Even though I'm not working (such a crappy time of the year to find a job) I'm still paying $80 a week board which will go up when I finally find work. Mum keeps talking about me being having to be independant yadda yadda and how there's no longer a parent/daughter relationship "we're 2 adults now", yet she still wants to control my life and I can never tell what kind of mood she will be in when she gets home. I don't know who was her scapegoat when I wasn't around but she seems to be making up for lost time with me


I looked at a room in a flat yesterday which I REALLY want to move into, except I only have enough money for the bond at the moment.

Hang in there, and try and save your butt off so you can move out!
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
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Originally Posted by cftwo View Post

When do you finish college? Do you have a planned graduation date?
Well, I am going part time, so I am looking at graduating in 2010 (Though after I am done with math courses, I may bite the bullet, get a lone and go full time again....
 

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2010 - that's a LONG time from now, particularly if you aren't comfortable with your living situation. In your shoes, I'd be pretty tempted to get the loan, go full-time, and have that as your plan to work on getting your own place. The other options I can think of might mean that it would take even longer to finish school - if that's OK with you, you could work full-time and take 1 class at a time so you could have your own place. That can be tough, but a some people do it that way.
 

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What employment options do you have? Do you have secretarial skills? Can you wipe butts and therefore be a nurse aide? A lot of people have put themselves through college working a job with flexible hours and decent pay. And by decent pay, we're talking $7-10/hour. Since you live in Indiana, I'm guessing pay scales run similarly there to my location in Ohio.

The more hours you work, the more money you get, the more respect you may earn from the bosses, and the less you have to be at home.
 

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I'd figure out how to move out.

Look for an efficiency. Before we were married, my wife was living in a tiny efficiency apartment (two rooms, with one room being the bathroom), cooking on hotplates, and going to school. I think the cost was $200/month.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
I have been looking for jobs all the time here. I currently am working in the computer lab at my school and I am probably going to have another job next semester so I will rarely be home.

I am trying. Really.
 

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Annikat, I don't think anyone's saying you're not trying. You asked for our advice, and we're attempting to bring up ideas you may not have thought of.
 

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Seriously, DO WHATEVER IT TAKES! Lots of people do, I did, and hell yeah, it's hard, but it IS doable, and you will be so glad you did! To quote Jessica Alana - bust your ass. Take some time off school, do some part time, get a better paying job, even if it's harder. Forget about your loans. It's not worth it. I still have lots of debt from my loans and my husbands, but it was STILL worth it to not have to live in circumstances like that.
 
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