[everything_is]

i feel stupid for not outright saying before the relationship started that i didnt want to date a meat-eater, but i thought i'd give this guy a chance as he is really nice

i feel so stupid cause it seems such a trivial thing but i feel like our eating differences are a barrier....to me at least....

i wish i hadn't got into this situation

i don't want my veganism to be an issue, and its not for him, but it is for me. and i feel bad that i feel like this...its just its not fair on him either if i am uncomfortable and distanced from him....its just not how a relationship should be....

i don't want to ask him to change

but i feel stupid saying that i have to leave because of this

 

[joyinc]

dont feel stupid. it's obviously something that's very important to you and you should never feel bad about believing in something positive

my ex who i still talk to sometimes is an avid meat eater, and it isnt that so much that bothers me (i mean after all i once was), but it's his absolute I dont give a sh** attitude about it all that bothers me. He's totally unsupportive of me trying to go vegan, and often says that he just doesnt care that the animals get hurt. When I look at it that way, I'm finding that our differences go way beyond what goes in our mouths.

good luck to you *hugs*

 

[Elijah]

Quote:

struggling to date a meat-eater

I am too. Don't feel stupid. They are the ones that should feel bad

 

[rabid_child]

What exactly is the problem?? I feel like I'm missing something here.

 

[Bonoluvr]

There must be something that isnt't quite right with the relationship, because relationships between omni's and vegans and vegetarians, can and do work, its about respect for the other.

but we have had this discussion here before and many feel we shouldnt respect the omni's choice to eat meat, but i disagree with that.

I have been married to an omni for 19 years. I have been Veg for most of that time, not all, but most. so anyway, my hubby is the one for me, i was veg when i met him, it can and does work, but he respects my choices of what i will and wont eat. he never has tried to sway me in fact he actually eats more like me anyway, but maybe because i shop and cook........LOL........

anyway, if this guy was right for you in every other way you would know it.

 

[synergy]

I think that in order for a mixed relationship to be sucessful, you each must be respectful and understanding of each others diet.

My omni BF is totally supportive of my diet, and when I told him I was going vegan again, he was all for it. His whole things is, what ever makes me happiest, as long as I stay healthy, and don't get preachy to him.

Another omni I dated couldn't handle my veg*nism and couldn't respect it. We eventually broke up because of it.

If he's cool with it, he is a potential convert, even if he doesn't do it FOR you, just being with you could inspire him. It's all a matter of your comfort level though.

Don't feel bad if you're not ok with it, even if some veg heads are ok dating omnis, you are the one who is in the relationship, not us.

 

[troub]

It's not so much breaking up over a "diet", but a dichotomy in ethics.

Me and my ex dated for 5 years. Highschool sweethearts; personalities were a perfect mesh; had most of our "firsts" together. But broke up - in part - because I wanted to raise our future children vegan, and she did not. While this wasn't the only reason, it was still a reason on the list that led up to the relationship ending. We are still friends though and talk for an hour on the phone once/twice a month.

Veganism is now a prereq to a relationship. As again, it isn't so much the diet portion, as what the diet means.

Good luck. Try to see if you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person. Because if you can't, whats the point in pursuing anything now?

 

[1000BaseT]

This thread proves what I've known all along: There are 3 sexual preferences, Straight, Gay and Vegetarian.

Selecting partners based upon what foods they like is retarded, claiming that it is an "ethics" issue is even more so. Choosing not to eat meat does not suddenly make one "Ethical".

I consider people who wear cotton clothing to be extremely insensitive and unethical. Cotton crops displace thousands of animals from their homes and disrupt the natural order. For example, deer cannot eat cotton, normally they would graze in an area but when farmers plant cotton, the deer are displaced and starve and die. This fact is true and cannot be disputed. People who wear cotton do so at the expense of many dead animals. See how morally superior I am? Anybody here live in a house made of wood? Don't get me started!

People who claim to be ethical because they don't eat animals are the worst sort of scoundrels. They never mention the thousands of animals that suffer and die because they drive automobiles or use products made from trees or allow their trash to be dumped in land fills. They just like to cluck in a condescending fashion about how "ethical" they are because they don't eat meat. It's a shallow ruse meant to convince themselves of their superiority.

It's funny how people have elevated a simple diet choice to some kind of quasi religion.

Vegetarianism is a sound and healthy diet, nothing more, nothing less.

 

[cftwo]

How is it an issue for you? Does he eat meat in front of you? Does he bring meat into your house to cook? Or is it just the principle behind it - that he's doing something which you chose not to do for ethical reasons?

The first two you might be able to work around. Maybe if he knows it bothers you when he eats meat in front of you he'll stop. Same with bringing meat into your house.

If it's the ethical differences, I guess I can see how that could hurt things over time. In that case, it's probably time to let him know that he's a great guy, but you're finding that vegetarianism is more important to you in a partner than you had thought it was.

 

[Eek]

The fact that you said you'd agreed to date him because "he is a nice guy" as opposed to because "you really like him" might say something.

 

[kimmifb]

I am married to an omni, and it is hard sometimes, especially when you have to feed them. I hate cooking meat, and often I won't. My hubby even knows about the atrocities of the factory farm industry and still eats meat! That is why I feel he doesn't give a crap. On the other hand, if your guy doesn't try to change you, then don't try to change him. He may become vegetarian, he may not. Maybe you could make him a vegan meal once in a while so he can see that it really is great. I make vegan meals all the time for my husband, and if I don't tell him it's vegan, he doesn't know, and he'll have seconds and thirds,(if I don't tell him it's vegan, that is).

 

[Jessica Alana]

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1000BaseT

It's funny how people have elevated a simple diet choice to some kind of quasi religion.

Vegetarianism is a sound and healthy diet, nothing more, nothing less.

I agree with you on the morally superior part. I don't think I'm too good to date a meateater, In fact, that's all i've dated. I don't even know any other real live vegetarians or vegans.

However I disagree when you say it's a simple diet choice. Vegetarianism can be just a diet choice. Veganism cannot. It extends much further than that.

 

[veggielove]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eek

The fact that you said you'd agreed to date him because "he is a nice guy" as opposed to because "you really like him" might say something.

I agree. Don't use vegetarianism as your excuse to yourself for breaking up with him - unless you want to limit yourself to only 2% of the population for all future relationships. A "mixed marriage" so to speak, can definitely work. In most cases, it is that way. Love is about respect. If he respects your dietary habits but you don't respect his, then that's just gonna be the end of it. Just either come to deal with that, or only date veg*ns. Good luck!!!!

 

[vegetarianxx]

Quote:

Originally Posted by veggielove

I agree. Don't use vegetarianism as your excuse to yourself for breaking up with him - unless you want to limit yourself to only 2% of the population for all future relationships. A "mixed marriage" so to speak, can definitely work. In most cases, it is that way. Love is about respect. If he respects your dietary habits but you don't respect his, then that's just gonna be the end of it. Just either come to deal with that, or only date veg*ns. Good luck!!!!

I agree.

Though, I'm lucky enough to be dating a vegan.

Hehe.

 

[lensgrabber]

Quote:

Originally Posted by veggielove

I agree. Don't use vegetarianism as your excuse to yourself for breaking up with him - unless you want to limit yourself to only 2% of the population for all future relationships. A "mixed marriage" so to speak, can definitely work. In most cases, it is that way. Love is about respect. If he respects your dietary habits but you don't respect his, then that's just gonna be the end of it. Just either come to deal with that, or only date veg*ns. Good luck!!!!

+3

I'm not sure how it is in the UK but in the US the chances slim that another veg will come your way that you will actually click with. It's good that you being vegan isn't a problem for him. This is a good sign. Don't count out everyone because of their diet. If you do that now, you may regret it later. Diet's can be changed if a person is willing. I think most of us has experienced that.

good luck with whatever choice you make

 

[joyinc]

my ex used to eat things in front of me that he knows i used to love eating... he'd make a point of holding it right in front of me and going mmmmmmm... so good! or he'd get a mouth full of meat and try to kiss me. it was funny the first few times, but he made me so angry after awhile. i'd just make sarcastic comments about how lucky i was to have such a supportive partner who was so willing to help and support me in a difficult decision to change my lifstyle. uggh...

i'd love to date a vegan, but i have so many other stipulations so there wont be much hope left if i narrow the search down to that! lol... but seriously though, when i get my own place later in life, i'd like my home to be animal free, so i just dont envision myself living with a meateater... dating maybe.

 

[GhostUser]

I am sooo sorry you are having these issues...I am engaged to a meat eater and he is very supportive...he cooks and eats veggie meals 2-4 times a week...he respects and supports what I believe and do and I love

him to pieces for that and all that he is...I dont want him to change what he is or believes and I dont either so we agree to disagree and for us it works perfectly.

 

[Irizary]

Quote:

I dont want him to change what he is or believes and I dont either so we agree to disagree and for us it works perfectly.

For the animals suffering terribly because he likes to stuff their bodies into his mouth, I hope he changes. I can love someone who eats meat, but they're still causing their innocent victims unnecessary pain, and the higher and more compassionate ethic is to stop that behavior.

 

[zoebird]

i think it's perfectly appropriate to leave the relationship because of this. and now you know that you need to start relationships with people who are vegetarian and no others. it's not that big of a deal.

 

[joyinc]

it's funny, after venting about all that, i heard from my ex... this guy who has in the past been quite obvious about his lack of concern for animals, has started to think about what he's doing because of watching my example, and listening to what i have to say. he doesnt think he will change any time soon, but for him to even admit he's getting concerned about it is a big deal