[karenlovessnow]

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me."<br><br><br><br>
I was about to use this phrase in the 'stop proselytizing in the newbie forum' thread when I realized, duh, I don't know about anyone else, but calling me names does hurt me. So what's up with this rhyme that I used to use over and over again as a child? As if physical pain is the only way to hurt someone? I did feel better using it against the bad guys back then, so maybe that's all it was supposed to do. Any thoughts? Any other silly childhood things that don't make sense now?

 

[MrFalafel]

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me"<br><br><br><br>
Words only hurt if you allow them to, in most cases. If a five year old calls me a poopyhead, it doesn't really hurt. If someone disagrees with my opinions an chooses to attack me for it, it says more about them then it does about me.

 

[karenlovessnow]

Yeah, that only works for the mature folks, though. I guess I have to work on that, the whole if you allow them to thing! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=""> (not the poopyhead part, I can handle that!)

 

[Shantih]

Names do hurt more than words in my opinion, and I figured that one out before I was ten years old, and would inform my mother of that when she tried to tell me that rhyme <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/laugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":lol:">

 

[starelda]

I used to use that rhyme when I was a kid too...it did help me feel better at times. But I agree, names do hurt more. Sticks and stones may break bones and cause cuts and bruises...but they heal quicker than mental scars. I heard a different version of the rhyme when I got older..."Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are swords that pierce me".

 

[Amy SF]

As somebody who was teased a lot as a child, and as a teenager, (I'd rather NOT go into that now), <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/inquisitive.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":stinkeye:"> I agree that words can hurt and scar much more than physical hurts. I've never used that rhyme, because I was too shy to try to fight back in any way. But I'm familiar with it, and I always hated it.

 

[Tesseract]

"Words as weapons, sharper than knives,<br><br>
Makes you wonder how the other half dies"<br><br><br><br>
That old sticks and stones saw is totally untrue. Words can cut sharper than knives, and the pain can last a lifetime. Physical wounds heal. I think it's a defensive mechanism more than anything else-- trying to tell yourself it doesn't hurt to try to stop the pain.<br><br><br><br>
I read a very interesting book a while back about what's now called "relational aggression" (in other words, using emotional relationships to hurt people) and girl-girl dynamics in grade school. It had a lot to say about words (and acts like social ostracism) being more harmful than fists in many circumstances. I want to say it was called Girl Fights, but that title isn't coming up on Amazon.

 

[nigel]

<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Tesseract</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I read a very interesting book a while back about what's now called "relational aggression" (in other words, using emotional relationships to hurt people) and girl-girl dynamics in grade school. It had a lot to say about words (and acts like social ostracism) being more harmful than fists in many circumstances. I want to say it was called Girl Fights, but that title isn't coming up on Amazon.</div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
Was it <i>Reviving Ophelia</i>? Sounds similar....

 

[Trueveggie14]

<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Tesseract</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I think it's a defensive mechanism more than anything else-- trying to tell yourself it doesn't hurt to try to stop the pain.</div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
I agree with Tesseract. I think we say that rhyme to the attacker, even if we are in pain (privately), to try to take away any thoughts they have of "having power over us". If we can convince them, that it didn't hurt, then maybe they won't use that weapon against us next time, since it wasn't very damaging (in their eyes).

 

[GhostUser]

I hate bullies.

 

[Poppy]

I guess I'm lucky in that I haven't been called names in many, many years (except on VB recently! and I thought it was pretty funny).<br><br><br><br>
But I am the parent of a mentally disabled teenager, and so I am VERY sensitive to what is being said about her. I actually quit working ten years ago because she was being called names and being picked on in the daycare center where she had been since she was a baby. No adult there could completely control all of the children all of the time and ensure that mine was not being taunted, and so that was it. And while it's been a huge sacrifice financially, there would have been no way for my daughter to ever understand the dynamics behind children being bullies. She would have just suffered. Fortunately, now she's pretty happy and has quite a bit of self-confidence, which disabled people really need to function in this crazy world!<br><br><br><br>
Words do hurt, deeply. I've always loved the bumper sticker that says" Mean People Suck" - because they do!

 

[Trueveggie14]

Oh Poppy, my niece is "special needs". She is not only in a wheelchair, but does not talk. We are very scared of what could or possibly is happening to her in the daycare / school system, since she can't tell us.<br><br><br><br>
I can only imagine the struggle you've been through. My sister prays for the day she can stay at home with her daughter. Breanna is 11 yrs old now and will need constant care her entire life.

 

[Amy SF]

My cousin's daughter is four years old. She has cerebral palsy due to complications at birth. She has weekly strength therapy and continues to improve all the time, but I know it will still be a long road ahead for her and she'll have to deal with being disabled, at least disabled in the eyes of society, for the rest of her life. I can only hope that she develops the inner strength, as well as outer strength, to deal with any crap that might come her way in her lifetime. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/undecided.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":-/">

 

[karenlovessnow]

Poppy, it's hard enough being a teenager, let alone a disabled one! Glad you were able to stay home and that she is doing better!<br><br><br><br>
TV, sorry your sister is in such a tough situation.<br><br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"> for both of you!

 

[Trueveggie14]

Thank you Karen. Amy, at least she is receiving rehad at an early age. Poor little girl. I hope she finds strength, peace and happiness in this life.<br><br>
Did you catch the "last comic standing" comedian with cerebral palsy? I think they are calling him "Blue". He is doing well in the competition.<br><br><br><br>
My niece of course has her happiness, likes and dislikes. She is spoiled, as much as possible. My sister is active duty air force. If she stays in for 20 yrs she will get a proper retirement and medical coverage for Breanna. She has already completed 13 years, so staying in is a no-brainer. Even with the deployments to Afghanistan and Korea.

 

[karenlovessnow]

<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Trueveggie14</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Did you catch the "last comic standing" comedian with cerebral palsy? I think they are calling him "Blue". He is doing well in the competition.</div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
I saw him twice. He is pretty good, too!

 

[Poppy]

<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Trueveggie14</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Oh Poppy, my niece is "special needs". She is not only in a wheelchair, but does not talk. We are very scared of what could or possibly is happening to her in the daycare / school system, since she can't tell us.</div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
It must be so very hard when the child is not verbal. i feel for your family! Thankfully, we have been very lucky in our school system, and I've been very comfortable with those arrangements. Kelly can communicate verbally - similar to a four-year-old - but she has no judgement or the ability to understand other people's motivation. It's scary being a parent!<br><br><br><br>
And AmySF, one of the things I have observed about this population (special needs kids) is that they do develop inner strength, and they learn to appreciate all of the really important things in life - friendship, love, time and beauty. They can teach us all some very valuable lessons!

 

[Tesseract]

<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>nigel</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Was it <i>Reviving Ophelia</i>? Sounds similar....</div>
</div>
<br>
I think it was a different one, but I have heard of that one.

 

[Carwere15]

My mom had this Latin saying... I know what it is but I'm clueless as how to spell it. "Don't let the bast**** get you down" and that actually did make me feel better. Of course I live in Hell... oh excuse me, New Mexico and a little more than 50% of the population is one in the literal sense....

 

[Sevenseas]

I put the "sticks and stones.." saying in the same category with "what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger".