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Discussion Starter #1
I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but...<br><br><br><br>
I'm planning on having a talk with my bf, seeing we've become sexually active as of recent.<br><br>
The thing is I'm absolutely paranoid about STDs or getting pregnant so I would like to take all precautions to prevent from getting either one or giving an STD.<br><br><br><br>
So far this is my plan (not in this specific order):<br><br>
1) get tested for STDs (eventhough I've never had sex untill now, I figure you never know)<br><br><br><br>
2) see if I can use implanon in combination with the BC pills I'm taking now- I take BC pills to regulate my periods, otherwise I'd most likely bleed to death and be PMS-ing around 200 days out of 365 hehe.<br><br>
But seeing that I tend to skip days of taking it and it's a really light version...I thought it might be a good idea to have a consistant back-up.<br><br><br><br>
3) And this is the difficult part for me hehe and I'm not sure if this is being pushy or just honest.<br><br>
But, apparently my bf thought just because I take bc, it's okay to have sex without a condom (which he got pretty close to before I stopped him hehe). Now I wouldn't mind, *if* I (or well he, and then I'd have to take his word for it) knew absolutely 100% sure that he does not have any STDs (and I get either implanon like that..or as a backup)<br><br><br><br>
So basically, I'd prefer if we'd both take the test so that that'd be less hassle and less paranoia.<br><br>
Now, I'm planning on taking the test anyway, because I just want to know I'm not putting him (or myself) at any kind of risk...<br><br>
And well, I mean ofcourse it's his decision whether to take it or not, but I will have to make it absolutely clear that if he doesn't.. I'd rather use a condom or no sex at all:p<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br>
sound like a plan? or am I just being dumb here...
 

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About the BC + condom issue... I suggest you at least use a condom or another form of birth control in conjunction with your pills. You are right - you need a backup. The Pill is very accurate when used properly, but there is always a chance... especially if you are skipping days by accident.<br><br><br><br>
Has he been tested before? Has he had partners before you? Is that why you are wondering if you have an STD?
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Veggiejane, I'm not sure if he's been tested before, which is why I feel we need to have this talk..especially because he has had at least one partner that i know off..and I know that the chances are small that he has contracted anything...I just think it'd be better if we were both absolutely sure...<br><br><br><br>
or maybe I'm just paranoid..but I'd rather know...than have a 0.000000001 chance of getting/giving anything.
 

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You definitely need to get him tested and find out for sure. Please do not take the risk. This isn't being paranoid - it's being smart, and it's being realistic. You need to protect yourself and find out if he has anything that can harm you. You will feel much better when you find out for sure, and then you can stop worrying.<br><br><br><br>
Have a talk with him, and let him know you care about the relationship and want it to be a healthy one. Being honest with each other and getting tested together will help you do that. You know that it's important to be safe - or else you wouldn't be wondering what to do. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"> Good luck, and feel free to come back and let us know how it turned out.<br><br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:">
 

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As to your plan<br><br><br><br>
1) If you've never had sex there isn't really any reason to get tested, but if it helps convince your boyfriend (we can go together!) then go for it.<br><br><br><br>
2)You can't use two forms of hormonal contraception at the same time. You'll have to use Implanon and stop taking the pill, or start taking the pill more regularly. You might also consider Depo Provera shots. Many women have problems with the shot, but others have used it for years with no problems. Implanon is <i>really</i> new (just got FDA approval last week), so you might have some trouble finding a doctor who offers it right away.<br><br><br><br>
3) I strongly believe you should continue using condoms even if he gets tested for STDs. It's good to have a back-up BC, and there's also the possibility that he could do something foolish and bring home an STD.
 

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There is nothing paranoid about what you are going through - if only everyone was as smart as you, there would be a lot less pain due to these kinds of mistakes.<br><br><br><br>
1) you cannot get implanon PLUS BC. Implanon IS BC, its the same as the pill, just under your skin and you don't need to remember to take pills.<br><br><br><br>
2.) everyone SHOULD practice two forms of Birth control. when my husband and i first met, i was already on the pill, to regularize my period, not for birth control purposes. We have always used two methods. I have known many people who have become pregnant on the pill - its very effective, but not 100%. A backup method should always be used. I use a spermacide in combination with the pill now that we are married, but not wanting kids yet - obviously condoms are not necessary, we both are STD free and monogamous.<br><br><br><br>
that leads to 3) there is nothing wrong with STD testing for BOTH of you. Its becoming more and more common. Some people think its not romantic - well, neither is getting herpes or AIDS when you "think" you're gonna be ok. Being sexually active also means being grown-up enough to take an STD test if your partner wants it. to be honest, I would be really HAPPY to go get STD testing with my partner - that way you BOTH know you are safe.<br><br><br><br>
YOu're doing the right thing, seriously - your parents taught you well!!!
 

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Just a note, a regular STD test isn't going to check for herpes or HPV. There is a blood test but it's not very reliable, so it's usually not done. Condoms offer some protection against these viruses, but it's still possible to transmit both while using a condom. It's also possible for the person to be a carrier and shed the virus without ever having an outbreak (and are therefore unaware that they have it).<br><br><br><br>
This isn't really applicable to this situation, but I have to get my little PSA out there.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
I already had a feeling implanon and bc pills wouldn't go together:\\<br><br>
It would've been really good though heh. 'Cause that way my periods would at least not arrive every three days (and last like 9 days>_<) and at the same time I would not have to worry too much.<br><br><br><br>
Er I guess best thing to do is just discuss it with my dr. I'm sure she'll know of some alternatives that'll suit me<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br><br><br>
Just one thing I've always wondered...<br><br>
when you're taking bc pills...you know how you have to stop for a week for your period and stuff..if you start taking it again...wouldn't you have to take it for quite some time before it kind of starts working again..like a week or something..or...am I just terribly misinformed?<br><br><br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>bstutzma</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br><br>
YOu're doing the right thing, seriously - your parents taught you well!!!</div>
</div>
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aw *blush*<br><br><br><br>
My parents don't know anything teehee..or at least I've never really had any talks with them.<br><br>
I guess the last talk I had was like..when I was 12? Which wasn't very informative.<br><br>
But I just think that getting intimate with someone on such a level brings a lot of responsibilities and unless you know how to handle those (or are working on that) you shouldn't even be thinking about having sex in my opinion.<br><br>
If that makes any sense...<br><br><br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Blue Plastic Straw</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
It's also possible for the person to be a carrier and shed the virus without ever having an outbreak (and are therefore unaware that they have it).<br></div>
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This is *exactly* why i want us to get tested. Because I would trust him if he said he didn't have any STDs...but sometimes what seems to be alright isn't. And it doesn't mean you're lieing, you just wouldn't know any better.<br><br><br><br>
Thanks for being so helpful everyone<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br>
*hugs*
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>ingenting</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br><br><br><br>
Er I guess best thing to do is just discuss it with my dr. I'm sure she'll know of some alternatives that'll suit me<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br><br><br>
Just one thing I've always wondered...<br><br>
when you're taking bc pills...you know how you have to stop for a week for your period and stuff..if you start taking it again...wouldn't you have to take it for quite some time before it kind of starts working again..like a week or something..or...am I just terribly misinformed?<br></div>
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Definitely talk with your doctor - always the best idea! :)<br><br><br><br>
I'm not quite sure I understand your question about the pill - you are already taking it, right? On a typical 28 day cycle pack of pills, you have 21 days of "active" pills, and then 7 days of "inactive" pills (sugar "reminder" pills that don't do anything, but keep you taking a pill every day so you wont forget.) During the 7 days of "inactive" pills, your body has a little "fake" period where it sheds the lining of the uterus. If instead of taking the inactive pills, you start a new pack of pills, you should not start your period. That is the concept behind "seasonale", the pill where you only get your period 4 times a year. <b>NOTE:</b> This might not work for the first couple months you do it. You might have breakthrough bleeding while your body figures out what the heck is going on. ;-) Please always take your pills as directed by your doctor, and do not change your method of taking them without consulting them.
 
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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">But I just think that getting intimate with someone on such a level brings a lot of responsibilities and unless you know how to handle those (or are working on that) you shouldn't even be thinking about having sex in my opinion.<br><br>
If that makes any sense...</div>
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can i just say how pleased i am to read that! you're soooo right! if you aren't prepared to talk about it beforehand, and work out a plan to keep you both safe, and talk about intimate things, and be honest and show care for each other- in my books, you shouldn't be doing those things. i feel really happy that you're choosing to be so responsible.<br><br><br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">when you're taking bc pills...you know how you have to stop for a week for your period and stuff..if you start taking it again...wouldn't you have to take it for quite some time before it kind of starts working again..like a week or something..or...am I just terribly misinformed?</div>
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get your doctor to explain about the pill when you see them, there are different types and different ways of using them. but basically, as far as i understand it, the doses you take daily all kind of top up the level in your system as you take them, so once you've been taking it for a while, you get a good level of the hormones running through in your system, that covers you over that week when you're supposed to be taking sugar pills. as long as you don't miss one when you are supposed to be taking them- like in the middle of the month- the dose from the past few weeks thats been adding up and floating about in your body covers you over that 7 day planned break.<br><br><br><br>
but get your doctor to explain it when you talk to them about contraception- they can explain it better, and you might decide to use another method other than the pill- especially if you forget it easily- you don't want to be missing pills, cos it gets a bit confusing and tricky to work out when you are at risk of getting pregnant. don't be worried about feeling stupid, or asking her to explain in detail, even if you need it explained a few times before it makes 100% sense to you, cos you really want to be clear on how it works, and how to use it, when it comes to b/c.<br><br><br><br>
ETA: and i'm glad you plan to take no crap on the condom front either, lol! if he wants to get some, he can wear one. i know some boys try and get out of it, but they come in all kindsa sizes and styles and thicknesses, so there is not really much of an excuse not to wear one. its way better to be extra safe, than sorry.
 

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Using BC and condoms is a great idea. Not just for birth control, but for practicality. If you haven't had sex until now you might not realise that what goes in must come out, and over a number of hours, very messy.<br><br><br><br>
You should definately talk to your doctor, and should absolutely take your pill as directed.<br><br><br><br>
Good luck, I'm sure this will go well for you because you're putting so much planning into it. You're a heck of a lot more responsible than I was when I first started having sex.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Thanks again everyone<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br><br><br>
I think, for myself I'm going to make a dr.'s appointment tomorrow, because I guess the sooner I get all of this over with, the sooner I'll relax about it all.<br><br>
'Cause right now I have to keep alert and stuff just to make sure that condoms *will* be used in the process hehe. Usually it's up to me to go:<br><br>
heeeyyy..that's not what we agreed upon:p<br><br>
It might be a mood-killer, but then again it's nothing next to finding out you're pregnant or STD-ed.<br><br><br><br><br><br>
I really like the idea of implanon still (I think it's been in holland for some time..) or a 'seasonale type' of pill.<br><br><br><br>
So, after tomorrow I've got plan 1 and 2 pretty much covered.<br><br><br><br>
And then plan 3...<br><br>
'the Talk'.<br><br><br><br>
Which I'm kind of nervous about, 'cause I'm not sure how to bring it..<br><br>
I keep doing what they do in movies when they have to talk about something serious hehe..<br><br><br><br>
Hey, ehm listen.... nonono..wait<br><br>
*ahem*<br><br>
Yeah, so here's the thing.... not good not good.<br><br>
*ahem*<br><br>
*super serious* We need to talk <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/deal2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":deal:"> ......*bursts into laughter*<br><br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D"><br><br><br><br>
I'm sure I'll find a way, it's just that I wonder what his reaction will be.<br><br>
I don't think it'll be negative or something though. I mean this is our health we'd be discussing.<br><br>
But I *will* discuss it next time I see him, 'cause like I said the sooner the better.<br><br><br><br>
Thank goodness for these boards though<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br>
and all of you!<br><br>
*hugs*
 

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Hey good luck with talking to him about it, I'll bet he's stoked that you've thought this all through. After all it does suggest that you're serious about it.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Blue Plastic Straw</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Just a note, a regular STD test isn't going to check for herpes or HPV. There is a blood test but it's not very reliable, so it's usually not done. Condoms offer some protection against these viruses, but it's still possible to transmit both while using a condom. It's also possible for the person to be a carrier and shed the virus without ever having an outbreak (and are therefore unaware that they have it).<br><br><br><br>
This isn't really applicable to this situation, but I have to get my little PSA out there.</div>
</div>
<br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/yes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":yes:"> A regular std test only checks for 4-5 stds, when there are 24 (last I knew) out there.<br><br>
So doctors will come back and say "They all came back negative." because they only tested for things like gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphillis. They don't even test for HIV unless you ask. And never HPV unless they have a reason (abnormal pap cells, warts, growths,) or you ask.
 

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One thing I want to add....<br><br><br><br>
If he gives you ANY crap when you DO have "the talk" - and doesn't respect your wishes, than he does NOT deserve to sleep with you. If he doesn't respect your boundaries, then he doesn't deserve you. A lot of girls are afraid to lose their boyfriends, and give in to them (and then later regret it.) DO NOT let it happen to you!!!
 

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my husband is my only partner, and i am his only partner. we both got tested for STDs as a demonstrative process (for our friends mostly), and we both use a form of birth control each. For a time, i used the pill (about 3 months), and then i switched to a counting method (not accurate), and now i use fertility awareness method (charting) and he uses condoms.<br><br><br><br>
i think that using condoms in conjunction with any other form of birth control is great.
 

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You need to be taking your pill at the same time every day. If you aren't, it might explain why you're bleeding more than once a month and for a long time. (Unless I've misunderstood your statement there) You may want to consider getting a digital watch with an alarm that goes off at the same time every day so you remember to take it. Or get on the patch or the ring or depo or something where you don't have to remember every day. Birth control does not work like tylenol. You have to keep the level of hormone consistant in your body at all times in order for it to work. There is no increased risk of getting pregnant during the placebo week because the pills for the 3 wks before stopped your body from ovulating. No ovulation, no egg; no egg, no baby. When you start up the pills again, it halts ovulation again, and so on and so forth.<br><br><br><br>
It's always a good idea to use a condom regardless of whether or not you're using hormonal birth control/have been STD tested.<br><br><br><br>
Finally, it is my opinion that if you aren't comfortable enough with someone to have a conversation about STD's and being tested and past partners etc... then you should not be having sex with them. You need to be able to talk about these things. Also, have you had the conversation about what you would do if you got pregnant? You should make sure you're on the same page about that because, for example, if you're adamently pro-life and he would absolutely want you to get an abortion if you got pregnant, you may want to both reconsider having sex and the risk of getting pregnant. Before my bf and I had sex we discussed STD, last time tested, what forms of protection we were using and I told him that if I get pregnant despite our multiple forms of protection, I would keep the baby, so that needs to be okay for him too. It's a mature/responsible/necessary conversation to have.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
Well, in the end...I haven't been to the dr. just yet 'cause I still needed some thinking to do about bc methods..<br><br><br><br>
but I did have a little talk with my boyfriend about it all, actually he brought it up when I visited him again *shock*<br><br>
So yeah in short he told me he'd get tested at some point and I told him I'd get tested as well just to join him in that hehe. Soo I suppose we should set a date...I was so surprised he said that ...I totally forgot to 'get down to business' d'oh >_<<br><br>
We also had a 'what if I get pregnant' talk...well it's quite clear we both don't want babies....ever... hehe. He even wants to get sterilised (as do I at some point but I guess we're both too young right now for any dr. to want to follow through with that procedure:\\).<br><br><br><br>
I'm going to kick myself out tomorrow and definitely get that appointment settled...the one where I discuss what options I have<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br>
*sets alarm*<br><br><br><br>
I feel so much better though now that we've had that talk..<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br>
Rabid, I think I messed my story up a bit...<br><br><br><br>
the reason I'm taking BC, or well the previous reason, was because I'd get my period *every* 3 days:\\<br><br>
and it'd last for 8...<br><br><br><br>
so to keep my periods more in check I took BC pills so it'd only take place once a month<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br><br><br>
But I'm glad to hear that if I take them on time every day (which I've been doing like a good girl these days) I don't have to worry about the fourth week<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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although this is not exactly on topic, i didnt seen any reason to start a new thread since my question falls under STD/Pregnancy Prevention....<br><br>
My boyfriend and i have become sexually active as of recently as well. We have both been tested for STDs and everything is in order in that department. We have just been using a condom. Everything i read says it is best to use a condom plus another form of birth control (like bc pills) really, i dont want to get on the pill. is using just a condom okay? assuming we are using it correctly everytime i dont see why it should be a problem? all my sexually active friends are on some from of BC pill. so i was just wondering if i should or if just a condom is OK. thank you!
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>emilybarrington</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
although this is not exactly on topic, i didnt seen any reason to start a new thread since my question falls under STD/Pregnancy Prevention....<br><br>
My boyfriend and i have become sexually active as of recently as well. We have both been tested for STDs and everything is in order in that department. We have just been using a condom. Everything i read says it is best to use a condom plus another form of birth control (like bc pills) really, i dont want to get on the pill. is using just a condom okay? assuming we are using it correctly everytime i dont see why it should be a problem? all my sexually active friends are on some from of BC pill. so i was just wondering if i should or if just a condom is OK. thank you!</div>
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I've always used two forms of BC, but there are some reasons why not to use the pill. For example I'm pretty sure my drop in libido is caused by it. And one of my friends has only ever used condoms and is not pregnant yet. However, it's a risk. You're the only one who can make up your mind about this but my advice is to use two types of BC. There are options other than the pill.
 
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