VeggieBoards banner

1 - 9 of 9 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
265 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
wow...if i keep coming up with these things, someone is going to wonder why i even have kids at all LoL I only ask you all bc I have no friends and my mum has allready told me that I've spoiled my daughter <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/furious.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":furious:"> ...<br><br>
so, my daughter is ten months old now...and separation anxiety has kicked in full force. i can't even run to the potty without her whining about it. she just took her first shuffle steps today, so I'm sure once she's fully mobile it might be a bit easier, but did anyone have any huge problems with this? she was fine just a few weeks ago, but now I can't even do the dishes without her hanging on my legs whining "mama" ..someone tell me that it really is just a phase, and that one day I will have back my independent kiddo who could play with her toys while i cooked dinner and did a bit of cleaning. she used to even sit for one baby einstein while i cleaned (not every day, only when she was having a really hard day..we don't do much tv), but, now i have to sit in the room with her. she doesn't even want me to read, even if i am in the living room with her where she is busy playing with her toys. it's like she just wants me to stare at her all day. I do get on the floor and play with her, but lately she just wants to use me as her jungle gym. is this part of sep anxiety too? I looked it up and couldn't find it anywhere. I'm hoping that since we finally got her sleep all figured out that, that maybe she will peak early. the whining I can ignore, and mostly do. she doesn't cry. I do almost always have her in the same room with me. I just can't strap her to me all day long..she is too big (almost as tall as a two yr old) and I am too far in this pregnancy to not hurt myself doing it. there are times where I will pick her up and cramp pretty bad, so they've allready limited me to anything under ten lbs and then her. I just want to see what anyone else recommends I do besides just ignore her whining..thanks all..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,204 Posts
Usually it passes. My 5 year old still has days where he follows me everywhere to make sure I'm not leaving. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/huh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":confused:"><br><br>
My 2 year old is in this phase now. He was pretty aloof as a baby but, now, he follows me everywhere whining and holding his hands up. Usually I just pat him on the head and say "I know honey but momma is busy now". He doesn't talk so his whining is just modified crying.<br><br>
The best I can tell you, honestly, is don't pick her up when you're busy. I know you said it's already not really an option for you but picking her up sort of confirms to her that her methods are working.<br><br>
I wouldn't say it gets easier when they get mobile, just that they gain the ability to follow you and whine rather than just whine. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/laugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":lol:"><br><br>
Mary
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,219 Posts
Well I can say I am of the attachment parenting mindset. we co-sleep, i always picked them up when they wanted........i put them in the baby bjorn so they could be on me when ever,.........i would put them in the baby seat, or with toys if i had to be in another room to do something.<br><br>
mine are 2 ( almost 3) and 6 yo. they are quite independent now.......although my 2 yo still will follow me around just to check, then he goes about his business.......so yes its a phase it will end.......enjoy it. they are babies, you CANNOT spoil them by attending to their needs. the phase will pass all too quick <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":(">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
265 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
she is an only sib until october..I told my hubby she is the type who should have been like the third..the only attention that she shares is with her dad (he works though and goes to school) and whatever i might be doing. she is a quick crawler and has allready found me in the bathroom. not that i spend hours in there..i just go alot (had issues before preg) so, I usually tell her that mommy has to potty..she's pretty much figured out where that means I will be and will head down there..calling like the wild animal babies do when they are lost..so I will call back to let her know where I am (I don't know if that is good or not but it helps her find me too) I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't doing wrong by ignoring the whining. I know it is different for each child/parent, but I got so tired of listening to my mum tell me to let her cry it out at nite, that I just gave up asking her for advice. she told me that I have spoiled her by picking her up when she is crying. crying I will do, whining I will not. thanks! you guys are so awesome! sometimes it's just nice to know that you are not the only one and that this too shall pass...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
221 Posts
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>MaryC1999</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
He doesn't talk so his whining is just modified crying.<br></div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
did i read that right hes two and dosent talk?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,204 Posts
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>nowoutonvinyl</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
did i read that right hes two and dosent talk?</div>
</div>
<br>
Yes, but I don't want to hijack the thread. Let me just say it's been addressed and he's fine. One of my twins wasn't verbal until his third birthday so we're not overly concerned over it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br>
To clarify my early statement about not picking her up, I meant only during the whining. Of course, like you, I never allowed the baby to cry and not comfort them. You're human, though, and you do need to do some things during the day that are impossible or hard to do while trying to hold a squirmy baby. If she follows you and just hangs out on your legs while you make lunch or wash dishes, whining to be picked up, it won't kill her to tap her on the head and say "I know honey but momma needs to finish what she's doing". She'll have to learn to divide attention in a few months anyway, it'll help a little to start teaching her now that she has to wait every so often.<br><br>
I hope that's clearer. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/shy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":shy:"><br><br>
Mary
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,204 Posts
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>sarahjayn1980</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Well, when she has a sibling to divert her attention, some of her focus on you might disapate. At least, that's a trend I've seen in my family.<br><br>
Also, there's scads of children who don't learn to talk until later. In fact, there's Kindergarten classes full of them in my school district. The kids all tend to catch up, though. If there's no other, bigger problem that the language aquisition is just a symptom of, Mary's right, the kid will be fine.</div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
Or sometimes it just breeds jealousy. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/lipsrsealed2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":sealed:"><br><br>
She's probably too young to be distracted by the baby but it's always good to help her understand now that she sometimes has to wait a little while for what she needs.<br><br>
Wow, kindergarteners that don't talk?? I'm glad mine didn't wait that long! They offered speech therapy but didn't push it. We turned them down. He can hear fine and his receptive language is excellent so we're not worried that much. The twin that didn't speak until his third birthday won't STOP talking now! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/laugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":lol:"><br><br>
Mary
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
800 Posts
mine doesn't cry <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D"> he whines a bit. only cries when he gets startled. I do spoil him though, but he's happy!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
265 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
my mum had us all close together (4 in 5yrs) and she said that when would get whiney when she needed to do something, she would tell us that the baby (next one down) needed someone to play with and we would go do that and give her the few minutes she needed to be alone. I know they are little for not too long and I try to appreciate that when I am trying to pee and she is hanging on my leg. Never laughed so hard in my life when I saw the thing on TLC about it not being a "rest room" for a mom. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/laugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":lol:"> I'm not sure what attachment parenting is...I just try to do what feels right..but it is about on the same lines as you, except for the cosleep. I had another thread on that. it just didn't work well with her. thanks guys. I know it's going to be a bit of a change when she has to learn to share me..and I hope that we are doing the right thing by having our kids close in age..I'll just keep up w/the no pickup for whining..but I am quick to jump if she cries. I will say there are days where I wished she didn't say anything yet. I tried so hard to get her to say "dada" first, so she could call for him instead..
 
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
Top