[vegkid]

Ugh. I have been teary/crying for the past 15 minutes or so after my dad did something VERY stupid. You see, one of his friends is having some birthday party, and they're getting gag gifts for him. My dad picked up this one from some dumbarse shop I hate in the first place (that admittedly has a couple funny things but is mostly just dumbarsery at its finest). It's some kind of "gay" toy thing that says all these idiotic things in an overly lispy gay voice when you press different buttons. Bright pink of course. "Let's get something straight - I'm not." "Have a **** day!" Naturally, being an angry hormonal teenager and also gay (a fact that he not only knows but claims to accept), the second I caught wind of this I freaked out on him, told him to go the hell away and he wasn't my father anymore and I hated him. Wow. That sounds a lot more idiotic than it seemed at the time. But this isn't the first time he's pulled this crap, I guess I've just let it build up for so long that it all just came out in one huge attack. Okay. It still sounds idiotic. But still.

My dad is one of those people who thinks very simply. So, he of course insisted that the thing wasn't intended for me and therefore I should take no offense to it like it not only didn't exist but that my father hadn't brought it into the house and made it talk in its aggravating half-lisp right in front of his gay effing son. Sort of like how I shouldn't pay attention to the oppression of women because I'm not one, and how I'm not supposed to care when he claims that something is "retarded" because "I don't mean it that way." I reacted the same as before. What are you doing in my room, get out, I don't want your apologies if they're not sincere, I'm really pissed off right now, there isn't any reasoning with me, get out before I just start attacking you more and get us both in deeper crap. Again, this sounds idiotic now but at the time I was consumed with rage and I wasn't really thinking. At all.

He hid the thing in his car (because that gets rid of all the problems). I'm more calmed down now. Of course I feel like a total dumbarse for allowing myself to get that mad and not taking the high road. What do you suggest I do?

I feel bad about it but I also feel pissed at him still. Not sure where to go from here.

 

[Envy]

If you feel that you have the courage, you could apologize for over-reacting in such a manner but calmly explain to him that you don't like those kinds of BS at all.

Well, something like that at least.

 

[vegkid]

I have calmly apologized. Going to talk to him later.

 

[Fromper]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Envy

If you feel that you have the courage, you could apologize for over-reacting in such a manner but calmly explain to him that you don't like those kinds of BS at all.

Well, something like that at least.

Agreed. Apologize, but make it clear that you're apologizing for over-reacting, but not apologizing for reacting.

--Fromper

 

[Envy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by vegkid

I have calmly apologized. Going to talk to him later.

Hope you'll do fine.

 

[peacefulveglady]

Yeah I agree apolgize but don't be sorry about the vulgar of what that is, there are gay teens that are killing themselves for being made fun of.

 

[fadeaway1289]

It's totally understandable why you reacted the way you did. Try to calmly explain to him why you felt so offended, betrayed and hurt by him purchasing that sort of gift. We tend to say the most awful things we don't truly mean when we are hurt and full of rage. I would apologize for the comments about hating him and explain you didn't mean it and that you were just upset.

I hope things go well and you two work everything out.

 

[vegkid]

Thanks guys.

 

[karenlovessnow]

I agree with everything said here. Good luck!

 

[vegkid]

Now he's really upset. Not with me, but he thinks I hate him and I feel really bad now. I'm going to have a talk with him the second I can.

 

[vegkid]

Well, that went well.

 

[AlainWinthrope]

Just wondering, op. Did you enjoy the film "Bruno"?

 

[Clueless Git]

Quote:

Originally Posted by vegkid

I feel bad about it but I also feel pissed at him still. Not sure where to go from here.

People mock that which, at best, they don't fully understand and, at worst, they fear.

Non gays are never going to fully understand gay and, possibly, gay can never fully understand straight.

This may be one of those "seek to understand before you seek to be understood" things.

Mebbe you could focus your efforts there?

 

[fadeaway1289]

Quote:

Originally Posted by vegkid

Well, that went well.

Yay!

Was there lots of hugs, "I love yous" , apologies, talking and understanding?

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlainWinthrope

Just wondering, op. Did you enjoy the film "Bruno"?

 

[JoBravo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by vegkid

Now he's really upset. Not with me, but he thinks I hate him and I feel really bad now. I'm going to have a talk with him the second I can.

This is a good thing.

Take comfort in the fact, too, that as you get more comfortable with yourself and your surroundings, you won't be as prone to over-reacting.

Although, I'm not sure what you found so offensive about that toy? Was it because it was "stereotypically gay" in the sense that it was a very effeminate voice with a lisp?

Personally, I've never understood why people get so riled up over this. Yes, it is a stereotype but, if you've spent any time in the gay community, you'll come to find it's a very common and frequent behavior/mannerism that gays, themselves, perpetuate.

 

[vegkid]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlainWinthrope

Just wondering, op. Did you enjoy the film "Bruno"?

Haha. Uhh. I didn't watch it. I've heard both good and bad things about it though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by a Balloon a Balloon

First, get things good with your Dad again.
Then, find the toy, cut it in half, and hang it.

Unfortunately, this is impossible as it is either still in his car (locked) or given away to his friend.

Or I'd do it in an instant.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clueless Git

People mock that which, at best, they don't fully understand and, at worst, they fear.

Non gays are never going to fully understand gay and, possibly, gay can never fully understand straight.

This may be one of those "seek to understand before you seek to be understood" things.

Mebbe you could focus your efforts there?

I now fully realize the fact that my father will never understand it. He loves me, and he truly does not hate or dislike gay people in any way, but he refuses to accept the fact that he's part of the subculture which makes the lives of gay people a living hell. He may feel that it's an innocent joke and not intended to offend, but I know his friends and I know that they're a bunch of misogynist d-bags who actively discriminate on a daily basis. I asked him why they were getting gay-themed gag gifts for his friend (one of the others he brought home was a bright pink penis straw, which I thought was pretty funny until he brought that damn noise maker in) and he responded in a completely normal voice that he throws his ball (bowling) in an effeminate way. He honest-to-God doesn't understand what's wrong with this situation, and I seriously doubt he ever will. The most I will ever be able to get out of him is that he's sorry that it/he offended me, and I'm not going to ruin my relationship with my father over something like that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by fadeaway1289

Yay!

Was there lots of hugs, "I love yous" , apologies, talking and understanding?

Sort-of. Read above.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoBravo

This is a good thing.

Take comfort in the fact, too, that as you get more comfortable with yourself and your surroundings, you won't be as prone to over-reacting.

Although, I'm not sure what you found so offensive about that toy? Was it because it was "stereotypically gay" in the sense that it was a very effeminate voice with a lisp?

Personally, I've never understood why people get so riled up over this. Yes, it is a stereotype but, if you've spent any time in the gay community, you'll come to find it's a very common and frequent behavior/mannerism that gays, themselves, perpetuate.

Not only was it OVERLY stereotypically gay, it was bright pink and it was called something ridiculous. Its many fun sayings include "Have a gay day!" "That's homoriffic!" and "Let's get something straight - I'm not." Keep in mind this came from a gag shop carrying products such as rainbow penis lollipops and talking blow-up dolls that say things that would make any feminist rage.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that on its own it isn't really that bad but knowing where it came from and what it's meant for makes it extremely offensive.

 

[karenlovessnow]

Quote:

Originally Posted by vegkid

Well, that went well.

Yay!