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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
not sure if this one's been posted before or not. it's good. and long.<br><br><br><br><br><br>
1. You know all the words to "If I had a million dollars" by The Barenaked Ladies, including the inter-stanza banter between Steven and Ed.<br><br><br><br>
2. You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly."<br><br><br><br>
3. You hum David Foster's '88 Calgary Olympics theme in the shower.<br><br><br><br>
4. You make up patriotic lyrics to go along with David Foster's '88 Calgary Olympics theme.<br><br><br><br>
5. You cried when Gus "drowned" on Road To Avonlea.<br><br><br><br>
6. You remember when Alanis Morrissette was "Too Hot To Hold".<br><br><br><br>
7. You think there isn't enough of Peter Gzowski to go around.<br><br><br><br>
8. You think it's normal to have a grain elevator in your backyard.<br><br><br><br>
9. You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin, as you can only use more change.<br><br><br><br>
10. You spend hours in the dark making scale models of the Avro Arrow and cursing the Diefenbaker government.<br><br><br><br>
11. You watch MuchMusic constantly, in the hopes of occasional fleeting glimpses of The Tragically Hip.<br><br><br><br>
12. You have an Inuit carving by your bedside with the rationale, "what's good enough protection for the Prime Minister, is good enough for me!"<br><br><br><br>
13. You have memorized the Heritage Foundation's Heritage Moments, including your favourites, "Burnt Toast!", "You know I canna read a word...", "One day<br><br>
we have tar paper roof!" and "Kanata".<br><br><br><br>
14. You can sing "O' Canada" in French and actually know what the words mean.<br><br><br><br>
15. You advocate the abolition of responsible government in favour of monarchist rule.<br><br><br><br>
16. You think there isn't enough Queen on our currency.<br><br><br><br>
17. You send angry letters to the CBC demanding the return of the Hinterland Who's Who spots so you can finally find out what happens to the arctic ptarmigan in winter.<br><br><br><br>
18. You participate in Participaction!<br><br><br><br>
19. You think Peter Mansbridge is sexy.<br><br><br><br>
20. You think Lloyd Robertson is sexy.<br><br><br><br>
21. You think Peter Kent is sexy.<br><br><br><br>
22. You think Matt Damon is so-so.<br><br><br><br>
23. You stood in line for hours for Another Roadside Attraction<br><br>
tickets.<br><br><br><br>
24. You killed your best friend for Another Roadside Attraction tickets.<br><br><br><br>
25. You think Great Big Sea isn't Maritime-centric enough.<br><br><br><br>
26. Your graduation formal dress was made of flannel.<br><br><br><br>
27. Your backpack has more than one Canadian flag iron-on (and you always have room for more).<br><br><br><br>
28. You know the names of all the guys in Sloan.<br><br><br><br>
29. You have been on Speaker's Corner. Bonus points if they edited out your carefully prepared rant against the Harris government.<br><br><br><br>
30. You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.<br><br><br><br>
31. You know the French equivalents of "free", "prize" and "no sugar added", thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.<br><br><br><br>
32. You still haven't taken down your "NON" posters from the 95 Referendum.<br><br><br><br>
33. You know more than 3 guys named Gordon.<br><br><br><br>
34. You think Ashley MacIssac isn't celtic enough.<br><br><br><br>
35. You remember "Jodie" from Today's Special and wonder why you keep seeing her reading news on the CBC.<br><br><br><br>
36. You can do the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's "Skin-a-marinki-dinki-do".<br><br><br><br>
37. You know why "killerwhaletank" is funny.<br><br><br><br>
38. You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.<br><br><br><br>
39. You had a crush on Joey Jeremiah from Degrassi Junior High.<br><br><br><br>
40. You know that a "Premier" isn't a baby born a few months early.<br><br><br><br>
41. You actually watch The Gemini Awards, The Genie Awards, and The Juno Awards. You wonder why Stompin' Tom doesn't get his own category in all three. You scream passionately at the television when your favourite Canadian performers are overlooked by their respective academies.<br><br><br><br>
42. You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada. You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.<br><br><br><br>
43. You think -10 C is mild weather.<br><br><br><br>
44. You have twins named Donovan and Bailey.<br><br><br><br>
45. You have twins named Wayne and Gretzky (alternately Gordie and Howe).<br><br><br><br>
46. You know the ingredients for poutine.<br><br><br><br>
47. You automatically read 'Z' as 'Zed' and don't give a damn that it doesn't rhyme with "now I know my abcs".<br><br><br><br>
48. You know what happens in the Evergreen Forest when Bert Raccoon wakes up.<br><br><br><br>
49. You dressed as Bruno Gerussi for Halloween. You spent hours sifting through garbage on the beach to prepare for the role.<br><br><br><br>
50. You substitute beer for water when cooking.<br><br><br><br>
51. You carry empty beer cans from your camping trips home with<br><br>
you in your backpack so you can recycle them when you reach civilization.<br><br><br><br>
52. You know that the 'Extra Creamy' in Kraft Extra Creamy Dinner is 'add more milk.'<br><br><br><br>
53. You prefer Elvis Stojko when he has 'hockey hair' - a.k.a. 'the mullet' or 'the shorty-longback'.<br><br><br><br>
54. You brag about the sweet herb in BC.<br><br><br><br>
55. You know the chorus of "The Log Driver's Waltz" and are particularly fond of the 'burling down and down' bit.<br><br><br><br>
56. You steal stationery from your Government of Canada co-operative education placement because you figure you can find lots of uses for paper with 'Human Resources Development Canada/Développement des Ressources Humaines Canada' written at the top.<br><br><br><br>
57. You recognize these guys.<br><br><br><br>
58. You are moved to tears by those Bell Canada phone commercials they show around Remembrance Day, where the<br><br>
grandson calls his grandad from Dieppe. You understand the manipulative nature of the advertisement, but continue to be moved, nontheless.<br><br><br><br>
59. You stay up until midnight (the end of some television station broadcasting hours) to hear the Canadian national anthem.<br><br><br><br>
60. You get up at 5:00 am (the begining of broadcasting hours) to hear the Canadian national anthem.<br><br><br><br>
61. You spit angrily when Americans say "ruff" instead of the correct "roof".<br><br><br><br>
62. You have daydreams that film-maker Don McKellar, and Hugh Dillon from The Headstones, skinned and ate Regis Philbin.<br><br><br><br>
63. You recognize: CPP, RSP, and CCM.<br><br><br><br>
64. You know what "Canuba" is. You think it's pretty damn funny.<br><br><br><br>
65. Your gravy boat is shaped like the Bluenose.<br><br><br><br>
66. You refuse to consume chocolate that doesn't come in either Smarties, Coffee Crisp, or Laura Secord format.<br><br><br><br>
67. You die a little inside if you can't get your Tims double-double every morning.<br><br><br><br>
68. You know the difference between real snow and "television" snow -- the white stuff that passes for snow on tv and in films. You scream, "For Christsake! That should be sticking to their pants!" and "Lookit, it's not melting! That's *so* not snow!" when watching 'Winter' scenes.<br><br><br><br>
69. Someone accidently stepped on your foot. You apologize.<br><br><br><br>
70. You stepped on someone's foot. You apologize, then apologize for making them apologize.<br><br><br><br>
71. You know Casey and Finnegan are NOT a Celtic rock band or imported beer.<br><br><br><br>
72. You know who Foster Hewitt is.<br><br><br><br>
73. You can spot MEC from a kilometre away, even if the little white tag is hidden.<br><br><br><br>
74. You're either out to bingo or getting stinko (and you think no more of Inco) on a Sudbury Saturday night.<br><br><br><br>
75. You've actually said, "Stay where yer at, 'till I gets where yer to."<br><br><br><br>
76. When abroad, you have a cold fear that somebody might mistake you for an American. You make a point of deliberately being kind to locals just to make it clear you are a Canadian.<br><br><br><br>
77. You pity people who haven't tasted a "beavertail".<br><br><br><br>
78. Complete the phrase: "The good old ____ game is the best ____ you can ____."<br><br><br><br>
79. You've got some rocks and you've got to leave an important message -- Lucky you know how to build an innukshuk!<br><br><br><br>
80. You have at least one ROOTS sweatshirt that always smells like cigarettes and beer.<br><br><br><br>
81. You find it difficult to explain "milk in a bag" to non-Canadians, and even more difficult to describe the "snippy-thing" used on bag corners. (Bonus points if your collected snippy-things are stuck to your fridge.)<br><br><br><br>
82. You're pretty sure you can see Alex Trebek smirking when Jeopardy contestants get the "Canada questions" wrong. Even if you weren't sure of the answer yourself, you consider yourself a hundred times smarter than the idiots who always guess, "What is .. uh, Toronto?"<br><br><br><br>
83. Your Saturday nights in the Atlantic provinces include eating beans and brown bread as you watch Hockey Night in Canada.<br><br><br><br>
84. You know that the Canadian Alliance is just the Reform Party with better hair.<br><br><br><br>
85. You know that, contrary to general belief, the Inuit have about the same amount of words for snow as do English speakers. Your favourite Inuit word for 'snow' is "navcaq" (snow formation about to collapse).<br><br><br><br>
86. Your local zoo is mainly flamingoes, giraffes and sad elephants freezing their asses off against a backdrop of pine trees, grey skies, and precambrian shield formations.<br><br><br><br>
87. You wonder why squirrels and seagulls somehow manage to get in every zoo exhibit (including the parking lot and squirrel and seagull exhibits).<br><br><br><br>
88. You live in a "beach town" and have to eat your brothers and sisters to stay alive during the winter months.<br><br><br><br>
89. You wonder why Esther Canadas has been blessed with both beauty and the coolest name on the planet -- although Canuck cutie Shalom Harlow could wipe the floor with her.<br><br><br><br>
90. You're such a hardcore Canadian punk you used ketchup-flavoured potato chip 'residue' to dye your hair. You know it's kind of gross, but at least you smell good.<br><br><br><br>
91. You don't consider a date truly romantic until you've slow danced to Blue Rodeo's "Five Days in May". You accept "Lost Together" as a second option.<br><br><br><br>
92. You read rather than scanned this list
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">92. You read rather than scanned this list</div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
I guess im not canadian; thank god for that. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D">
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/tongue3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":p"><br><br><br><br>
i'm not sure what "guys" #57 refers to. i think there was a pic attached to the original message and got lost in cyberspace before it got to me.
 

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Heh heh... I love it!<br><br><br><br>
Also: "15. You advocate the abolition of responsible government in favour of monarchist rule."<br><br><br><br>
You gotta love Heritage Canada commercials!
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
"Dr. Pennfield, i can smell burnt toast!!"<br><br>
and i never realized til now how sad it is that i did know the log drivers waltz chorus. don't remember it now though. mmmm maple sugar
 

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I love the log driver's waltz!<br><br><br><br>
I love Canadiana like those commercials and things like the log driver's waltz. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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THE LOG DRIVER'S WALTZ<br><br>
By Wade Hemsworth<br><br><br><br>
If you ask any girl from the parish around<br><br>
What pleases her most from her head to her toes,<br><br>
She'll say - I'm not sure that it's business of yours,<br><br>
But I do like to waltz with a log driver.<br><br><br><br>
Chorus: For he goes birling down and down white water;<br><br>
That's where the log driver learns to step lightly.<br><br>
It's birling down, and down white water;<br><br>
A log driver's waltz pleases girls completely.<br><br><br><br>
When the drive's nearly over, I like to go down<br><br>
And watch all the lads while they work on the river.<br><br>
I know that come evening they'll be in the town<br><br>
And we all like to waltz with the log driver.<br><br><br><br>
(Chorus)<br><br><br><br>
To please both my parents I've had to give way<br><br>
And dance with the doctors and merchants and lawyers.<br><br>
Their manners are fine but their feet are of clay<br><br>
For there's none with the style of my log driver.<br><br><br><br>
(Chorus)<br><br><br><br>
Now I've had my chances with all sorts of men<br><br>
But none is so fine as my lad on the river.<br><br>
So when the drive's over, if he asks me again,<br><br>
I think I will marry my log driver.
 

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Log Driver's Waltz<br><br><br><br>
1. <a href="http://cmm.onf.ca/images/big/79/79253/4.jpg" target="_blank">http://cmm.onf.ca/images/big/79/79253/4.jpg</a><br><br>
2. <a href="http://cmm.onf.ca/images/big/79/79253/5.jpg" target="_blank">http://cmm.onf.ca/images/big/79/79253/5.jpg</a><br><br>
3. <a href="http://cmm.onf.ca/images/big/79/79253/6.jpg" target="_blank">http://cmm.onf.ca/images/big/79/79253/6.jpg</a>
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
haha, that's it. why'd they ever take that off the air <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/bigcry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":cry:">
 

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uh oh! I don't know the log driver's waltz. At least not by sight. (But I do know the NFB Blackfly song really well!!)<br><br><br><br>
They left out 'sitting on your Chesterfield' though... And some Danger Bay references. Always need Danger Bay references.<br><br><br><br>
Good list though! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br><br><br>
My other fav Heritage Moments are the one with Superman, and Wassisface inventing Basketball.<br><br><br><br>
I think I actually learned more about Canada from the Heritage moment than I did from my entire highschool curriculum!<br><br><br><br><br><br>
And I still get a kick out of that Killerwhaletank reference. haha.
 

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I love that list! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D"><br><br><br><br>
#58, Damn those Bell commercials! They sucker me in all the time! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/tongue3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":p"><br><br><br><br>
Oh the Log Driver's Waltz! I had forgot about that!<br><br><br><br>
Did anyone catch that series they did with Rick Mercer, where they went through the history of the CBC? Very nostalgic-y. Sigh, I love Canada! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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Cripes, there are a few things on here that I do... The most of the rest I had NO idea what on earth it was talking about.<br><br><br><br>
I was touched when Gus had his near miss in the Road to Avonlea. The books are better, though. And I've read them all.<br><br><br><br>
I loved the flannel graduation dress one. I never even considered that for my HS graduation.<br><br><br><br>
I know the hand motions to Skin-a-marinki-dinki-do!!! I learned them from... oh shoot what was her name. The mom of one of my friends.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
i must admit i don't get the killerwhaletank thing.
 

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We can guess and make up our own meaning. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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"18. You participate in Participaction!"<br><br><br><br>
More like you're FORCED to participate in Participaction in grade school!<br><br><br><br>
Killerwhaletank... I don't know what it is. I did a search and it has something to do with the Tragically Hip (I think).
 

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Yep.<br><br><br><br>
Killerwhaletank is a really famous live Hip monologue.<br><br><br><br>
When you watch the Tragically Hip in concert, Gord Downie, the lead singer crazy guy, often breaks into a long poetic rant of some kind in an extended break of a song.<br><br><br><br>
"Killerwhaletank" is one such monologue done frequently during 'New Orleans is Sinking'. Others include the Double Suicide monlogue, Frogman, etc.<br><br><br><br>
I dunno how to attach an mp3 here to hear it, if I can find a copy online.<br><br><br><br>
But goes as follows:<br><br><br><br><i>"I had a job before this...I had a job before this...ultimately it was that job that led me into this..I worked at an aquarium, an aquarium with lots of money so it was hhuuuuuge!! I was a clean and scrub man; we called each other in the c&s union. I scrubbed the inside of the Killer Whale Tank. And after a while the boys in the c & s, the clean and scrub, we just made it sorta one word. 'The killerwhaletank'. The killerwhaletank unh, the killerwhale tank unh... I'm goin into the [pause] killerwhaletank! unhh!<br><br><br><br>
I got along with these two big beasts so well it was like they knew me. They looked at me with thier hundred year old eyes and it was like the knew me. I'd put on my scuba gear my mask, my regulator and I'd fall into the tank with nary a sound, maybe a "ffft", and then I was underwater. Sometimes I'd jump out, right in front of the window. When people are expecting a killer whale and they see a human they get spooked! Spooked. Well anyways I'd do that.<br><br><br><br>
But I was in the water this particular day, unbeknowst to me, Shamu, and Bartholomew, their relationship had gone stale. Seems I was going in there so much, and I was looking soooo good, Shamu took a shining to me. And they're so SMART those things ya know? They've got all these human emotions. Love, lust, GREED, hundred year old eye jealousy! Bartholomew...was livid! Unbeknowst to me- I can't hear a God damn thing underwater! He came up, he was bumping against me alot. That stale, killer whale, bumping up against someone so pale and frail. How was I supposed to know the killer whale relationship had gone stale?<br><br><br><br>
Welllll......He brushes up to me a couple times, his skin's like sandpaper. I say, "Hey man, Bartholomew, what's up? What's goin on big fella? What is it? I don't want to steal your mommy and I sure don't want to take the place of your daddy. I only wanna be your friend." And he circled around I thought we were all patched up and I was scrubbing and he took my, he came and he, he came and he, he ripped, he ripped my left arm off. I mean, killer whales- they're beasts of the deep, they're quite docile and friendly in captivity but somewhere along the line, thousands of years of breeding just SNAPPED and he took my left arm off man. He took my left arm, my ****ing left arm. "What is it Bartholomew?" I asked him in a laguage he could understand as I came back...[Gord makes sounds like a killer whale, then launches back into the original song:]<br><br>
Pale as a lightbulb..."</i>
 

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Well, I'm not Canadian, but Today's Special was my favorite show when I was a kid. I actually still remember many of the songs!<br><br><br><br>
Peace,<br><br>
Maggie
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
i was a big Mufffy fan myself (the mouse all dressed up in pink frilly things)<br><br><br><br>
ah the Hip, that explains why i didn't get it. was never into them. though it looks like they're fun to see live.
 

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"5. You cried when Gus "drowned" on Road To Avonlea. "<br><br><br><br>
i used to watch this show with my mom when i was smaller, second i seen that my heart sank a bit. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":("> i wasnt aware of that. i thought he was doin good at his canning job.
 

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Having to endure all that time thinking Gus was dead <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/bigcry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":cry:"><br><br><br><br>
Remember Hinterland Who's Who with different animals spotlighted for 30 seconds? I learned more about Canadian animals in those then school ever taught me.
 
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