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Hey guys! I need your advice on something. My bf and I have been together for precisely a year and will be moving in together in 2 weeks.<br><br>
He makes 20 000$ a year more than I do and doesn't have any student debts, while I have 20 000$ worth of them.<br><br>
His parents gave him a car during his university years and so has only bought and started doing payments on a car since october last year, while I bought my own car in oct 2009.<br><br>
He's been staying at his parents' house rent-free, while I've bee paying 200$ to my mother since may 2010.<br><br>
The groceries at this place are paid by his parents, while I've been doing my own for almost a year now.<br><br>
So all this taken into account, he's the one who made the down payment on the condo and who'll be paying most of the mortgage/bills/condo fees. The condo fees are 180$ a month. I offered to pitch in 200$ a month to help pay for it all, because I wanted to help out financially as much as I could, and because it was the most I could afford to contribute.<br><br>
So everything was fine, until he brought up the subject of a pre-(pre)-nup. (the paranthesis are there because he said once we're married, this document would not apply, so it's technically not a marriage pre-nup).<br><br>
After living together for 12 months, we would be considered 'common-law' which would mean we would both have access to everything we own 50/50. This, of course, would mean *I* would have more than I have and he would have less than what he put in. I understand he doesn't want to get 'cheated' from all the money he's putting into this, but he wants me to sign a document saying we would NOT be common-law after 12 months, so that I would not be able to leave with half of his investments, were we ever to break up.<br><br>
But isn't that starting off our new stage in our relationship on the wrong foot? I told him I had no interest in his money, and that I thought his attitude of needing to 'protect' himself from me not a healthy one for a relationship. I find it insulting that he would ask me to sign something like that, and he finds my reaction insulting that I can't understand how he's being generous by letting me stay with him for a mere 200$ a month, which clearly isn't a 'fair share'.<br><br>
It makes me feel like we're moving into HIS place, not OURS, and that my 200$ would be more like 'rent' then anything else, which would make me feel more like a roommate than a girlfriend.<br><br>
I understand if we WERE roommates, the situation is pretty darnededly generous! But we're not, we're a COUPLE. Isn't the point of moving in together to start our lives as a loving couple, a team, to build our future together?<br><br>
Sorry for the long rant!!
He makes 20 000$ a year more than I do and doesn't have any student debts, while I have 20 000$ worth of them.<br><br>
His parents gave him a car during his university years and so has only bought and started doing payments on a car since october last year, while I bought my own car in oct 2009.<br><br>
He's been staying at his parents' house rent-free, while I've bee paying 200$ to my mother since may 2010.<br><br>
The groceries at this place are paid by his parents, while I've been doing my own for almost a year now.<br><br>
So all this taken into account, he's the one who made the down payment on the condo and who'll be paying most of the mortgage/bills/condo fees. The condo fees are 180$ a month. I offered to pitch in 200$ a month to help pay for it all, because I wanted to help out financially as much as I could, and because it was the most I could afford to contribute.<br><br>
So everything was fine, until he brought up the subject of a pre-(pre)-nup. (the paranthesis are there because he said once we're married, this document would not apply, so it's technically not a marriage pre-nup).<br><br>
After living together for 12 months, we would be considered 'common-law' which would mean we would both have access to everything we own 50/50. This, of course, would mean *I* would have more than I have and he would have less than what he put in. I understand he doesn't want to get 'cheated' from all the money he's putting into this, but he wants me to sign a document saying we would NOT be common-law after 12 months, so that I would not be able to leave with half of his investments, were we ever to break up.<br><br>
But isn't that starting off our new stage in our relationship on the wrong foot? I told him I had no interest in his money, and that I thought his attitude of needing to 'protect' himself from me not a healthy one for a relationship. I find it insulting that he would ask me to sign something like that, and he finds my reaction insulting that I can't understand how he's being generous by letting me stay with him for a mere 200$ a month, which clearly isn't a 'fair share'.<br><br>
It makes me feel like we're moving into HIS place, not OURS, and that my 200$ would be more like 'rent' then anything else, which would make me feel more like a roommate than a girlfriend.<br><br>
I understand if we WERE roommates, the situation is pretty darnededly generous! But we're not, we're a COUPLE. Isn't the point of moving in together to start our lives as a loving couple, a team, to build our future together?<br><br>
Sorry for the long rant!!
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