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OK, I normally don't care to read posts about going to the store today or eating this or that for lunch or whatever mundane thing people have on their mind.

But I just have to write this and get it out there, and if you normally don't read stuff like this then that's fine, I won't take it personally:

1) I LOVE being vegetarian! And I LOVE vegan foods! LOVE LOVE LOVE! Went veg about 5 years ago and don't regret a single day.

2) Shopping for vegan products on the other hand is a bit daunting. Mainstream chain stores have a smattering of selections but that's it.

So.... I went to Whole Foods today. I normally go to the one off of 119th and Metcalf in Overland Park but today I decided to go to the one around 91st and Metcalf. I heard they had a bigger selection of products. And, boy DID THEY!

I felt like Randall in Clerks when he goes to the bigger video store across town. All the options he didn't have in the little crappy store he worked in now suddenly available to him...that's how I felt. I held out my arms and spun around while beautiful music played. OK, not really, but I felt like that in my heart.

I went there to get tofu, We Can't Say It's Cheese (an AWESOME cheese substitute that is made from oatmeal...YES, oatmeal...and I would recommend it to even the most die hard of meat and dairy eaters), and orange juice. Three things, preferably under twenty bucks. Well, about $125.00 later....

To my meat eating friends, you may never appreciate the wide variety of vegan products out there. And rest assured that unlike how it's portrayed on TV and elsewhere vegan products are not tasteless or taste horrible. There are some...oh, yes, I've tried some horrible vegan cheese (Galaxy Nutritional, I am looking your way. Your vegan cheese is like yellow turds from Satan's ass) and some not so good vegan products. But there's so much more new stuff out there, including some AWESOME new products from local companies out of Lawrence! (Shout out to Lawrence and the vegan/vegetarian community there! I wish I lived there!)

Awesome experience. I spent more money than I intended, but I am stocked up on food for a while now.

Then I go to Off Broadway Shoes (Ward Parkway Mall in Kansas City, MO.) I read online they carried vegan shoes. (To the meat eating friends out there, vegan shoes are made without animal by products.) There is a company that makes fabulous vegan shoes...Earth Shoes. And apparently OBS has them! I had coupons that totaled $22.00 off a purchase so with discounts in hand I marched into one of the biggest shoe stores in Kansas City to do some shopping.

And, long story short, came up empty handed. Now I felt like Randall in his small crappy video store again. The vegan shoes they apparently carried are only in women's sizes. The Earth shoes? Women's. Oh, Earth makes men's shoes. Fast and Furless in Minneapolis, MN (when I get a chance to get up there on the off chance I get to go there) carries them. I've seen them. I held them in my hands. I bought them before from Fast and Furless in Minneapolis. But in Kansas City, the barbeque capital of the Midwest, vegan shoes are scarce, my friends.

And it angered me. I've taken it in stride before, but this time it really pissed me off. I stewed about it all the way home. The message shoe stores are sending me is plain and simple: they think women are the only vegan shoe shoppers they have. Men, on the other hand, must me low browed knuckle dragging cave men that just kill anything that moves to eat and wear it. Men can't sustain any level of higher awareness about what their actions may be doing to the environment. Men must not have any compassion towards the suffering of animals in this world and they must not have the capacity to choose to not partake in that segment of society. We must just be football watching, meat eating, beer guzzling, crotch scratching, loud burping, messy pooping machines that don't give two rats ass squirts about the plight of animals on this planet. Well, pardon my French but £#¢* you, SHOE STORES, £#¢* YOUUUUUUUUU!!!!!

If only Whole Foods carried shoes. I understand bigger locations (in like California and New York) do. But not in the barbeque capital of Kansas City where men don't give a crap what they eat or wear, apparently.

So perhaps this is a call to the fellow community of vegans and vegetarians in Kansas City. We have enough stores to choose from now, especially with Trader Joe's going in at Ward Parkway. We have enough places to eat (well, not quite...we need a place or two in Lee's Summit and more in Overland Park) but what we REALLY NEED is a place that sells vegan shoes! Not just women's shoes but MEN'S SHOES. Because some of us are enlightened, and some of us do give a crap about what we eat and wear.

There, I am done now. Maybe it's time to consider going back to Fast and Furless on my next vacations. But, good Pete, I shouldn't have to drive two states away to find vegan shoes.

And I know they are available online. But I need to try the shoes on and I am still a man...I don't like shopping for shoes. I want it to be fast and painless when I do it. Jacking around with returning them when they don't fit right is just annoying to think about.

P.S. WELL SON OF A *****!!!!!!! FAST AND FURLESS IS £#¢*ING CLOSED!!! They aren't on Facebook. I tried calling. Disconnected. I tried looking at the website. Gone. This is BULL****!
 
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