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I didn't really know where to post this. I thought here would do.<br><br><br><br>
My friend really pissed me off the other day. We had just come out of an exam, and he was saying how the girl he was sitting next to had scars all the way down her arm. He then commented that she must be a "self-harmer" and that "people who do that are psychos". I really really wanted to shout at him, but I just couldn't be bothered to start an argument. It would've been a waste of time, anyway. I just didn't acknowledge him.<br><br><br><br>
I always used to find that injuring myself was the only way to let certain feelings out. I didn't see myself as a "psycho". Some people go down the gym, hit their pillow or rant at others/keep a journal to get rid of unwanted emotions. I just used to cut myself. How is it any different?<br><br><br><br>
He also said that people only do it to get attention. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/huh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":confused:"> Almost everyone I know who has had a tendency to self-harm has always been really ashamed of it, and often tried to cover it up afterwards.<br><br><br><br>
I'm sorry. That's all. I just had to vent somewhere.
 

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I do that sort of thing (haven't for a while now)..... I carve words or symbols into my left arm, just before my hand. Sometimes I've done just random lines, and a couple of times I've used to blood to draw pictures or write poems. It was never for attention; I never showed it off or anything (sometimes people would see it though).<br><br><br><br>
What's strange is normally when it comes to blood and needles etc. I get dizzy and queasy very easily. So it's like if it's not me doing it, I can handle it.<br><br><br><br>
One time I numbed my arm with ice cold water. But then I cut too deep (I couldn't feel anything) and it got a little infected.
 

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I think it is one of those things that some people just will never comprehend.<br><br>
Especially as they assume people who do self harm , do it all for the same reasons. (which in my opinion, and experience is utter bull balls)<br><br>
Try not to let it get to you. He either can't , or doesn't want to understand. Or maybe he does but isn't comfortable with it.<br><br>
And really, don't apologise ok? There is no need.
 

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ugh. i think people like that usually don't have an inch of understanding in them, i mean they can be ignorant and perfectly happy that way, to stick to old stereotypes and not look behind it. idunno, maybe printing out a good page of info on it for him to look at would help?<br><br>
then again, maybe not.<br><br>
here's a few pages, there's lots like them: <a href="http://www.selfinjury.freeserve.co.uk/myths.html" target="_blank">http://www.selfinjury.freeserve.co.uk/myths.html</a><br><br><a href="http://www.ruinyourlife.com/ThePage.htm?FAQPage.htm~textwindow" target="_blank">http://www.ruinyourlife.com/ThePage....htm~textwindow</a><br><br><a href="http://www.psyke.org/faqs/selfinjury/#sec7" target="_blank">http://www.psyke.org/faqs/selfinjury/#sec7</a><br><br>
i hate how it's said to be done for attention/suicidal/etc. because those are totally opposite from the usual purposes. sure *some* kids may try it for those purposes, but *some* anorexics try vegetarianism for their purposes too, even though most veggies don't have eating disorders beyond the difficulties this world puts them through. it's actually just a method to live and cope with everything, and sometimes the only possible comfort we can find to not bother others for it. most self harmers are secretive, ashamed, just minding their own business. and it's obviously hard enough, why do they need to be attacked for it?<br><br>
i watched a movie the other day that showed a bit of self harm, but it was about psycho killing spree girl, so that wasn't such a good thing i guess.
 

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I agree with Schoska. There was a dark period in my life (years ago -- in high school) when I used to do that. I always felt very ashamed and alone in doing it. I thought I was a freak. But then I found out that so many people have done it too... It's a very scary cycle, one that I'm glad I broke. I'm glad that you don't do it anymore Gazumper (or hope you don't).<br><br><br><br>
A lot of people (like your "friend" there who was shooting his mouth off) are very afraid of things they don't understand. But who knows -- maybe he was sounding you out to see your reaction to it. Maybe he is not as unfamiliar with it as he makes it sound... Who knows. I'm glad you vented.
 

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Self-injury is very common among abuse survivors. When they were children, they walked on eggshells waiting for the abuse to happen. When it did happen, they knew they were safe for a little while. It's actually the build up to the abuse that is most stressful for these children and it explains, why they may deliberately provoke their abusive parent just to get the abuse over with.<br><br>
As adults, when tension builds up, they have not learnt how to properly cope with it and they will self-injury as a release of the tension. In most cases, it is not a lousy suicide attempt nor a cry for help necessarily. It's to get to that safe mental place.<br><br><br><br>
Self-injury can also occur among anorexics or anyone who feels that they are not in control of their lives or bodies. They are aching to feel something, even if it's pain.
 

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I hope that your friend and you get help because self harm can turn to suicide. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":("> sorry to hear this and I think your friend was wrong is the comment he made.
 

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I practice self-harm without intending to cause myself serious injury. It just seems like the only thing that can bring me back to reality when I'm having severe anxiety or distress of any form is to create enough pain to make me remember who and what I am; for example, I'll stab myself in the thighs with a pen, hit myself in the head, cut my hands and arms (not any major arteries, mind, and not even that deep), chew my lips into shreds, pull at my hair, etc. I guess this doesn't quite explain it properly, and I'm sure I look like a complete nutcase, but that's the best I can do.<br><br><br><br>
Self-harm can stem from many things, not just depression or the desire to terminate existence. Obsessive compulsive disorder, among other things, can be a big factor in it. People who have a hard time expressing their feelings, or who don't know how to handle them, tend to take it out on themselves physically. I don't think anyone who honestly does this wants attention for it; quite the contrary, I think it is something they wish not to share, fearing people will begin to think of them in a negative light. Like Gazumpy said, it's something people are ashamed of. Those people who do practice self-harm to get attention (and there are a few of those, and I know some of them personally) may not be as silly as people would think. In my opinion, the use of extreme measures to get attention is a problem in itself.
 

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Wow, glad I stumbled upon this thread. I have had a problem in the past. Yep I am an abuse survivor. I havent ever thought of myself as psycho. I just usually had no place else to put the pain or no way else to let it out until one day I burned myself and then felt better. So it became a habit. I was ashamed of it, horribly ashamed of it. I would wear long sleeves in the middle of the summer to hide it. THis is really the first time I have ever "talked" about it. My scars arent too terribly bad. I have a few that were pretty deep burns. I dont do it anymore, or at least I havent for a while. It really bothers me too, if I hear people calling "self harmers" psycho. Some people just dont get it.
 

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I used to cut myself occassionally when I had too much pain inside-oftentimes plain slits, letters, or designs. I feel that this is an unhealthy practice, obviously quite mentally and physically detrimental and definatley not empowering. Still, we are NOT psychos, and its just shameful that such ridiculous stigmas exist in society.<br><br>
Vegankat- Try to work those emotions out some other way, babe! *hug* You know that's no good.<br><br>
lovenlight,<br><br>
linz
 

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Most people inflict self-harm because they have pent up emotions which they don't know how to deal with/express.<br><br><br><br>
Whether it be cutting of the arms, legs or areas that are not seen, they often feel as if it's a way of releasing the thoughts/pains that are causing the mysterious emotion.<br><br><br><br>
Cutting <i>sometimes</i> leads to suicidal things... but, not all of the cases do.<br><br><br><br>
Just go to a search engine, type in "Self harm" and you'll get many different stories, works and many things.
 

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I never cut myself but there was a time in HS and just after where I would actually hit myself. Usually punching my thighs until I made bruises. I've got lots of broken blood vessels there now as a result. It was after my Dad stopped hitting me, and I often still felt I needed to be 'punished' for something. That and I really didn't care much for myself. I'd never dream of doing this now as I make it a rule to first do no harm to MYSELF.<br><br><br><br>
It's useless to go around preaching compassion and kindness towards others/or non-humans, if you aren't first treating yourself to that same measure of kindness and compassion.<br><br><br><br>
As my therapist used to say, "hurting people hurt people." But here it really becomes clear that the people we are hurting the most is US.<br><br><br><br>
And while it isn't a 'psycho' act, it is also not a mentally healthy, functioning way to live and cope.<br><br><br><br>
B
 

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I have never been a compulsive self-harmer, but I have injured myself on purpose several times, always when I was dealing with extremely strong emotions that I didn't know how to handle, or felt I couldn't express to the people who I needed to acknowledge them. It is incredibly lonely, to be there with the people you're supposedly closest to and feel too isolated to even speak to them.<br><br><br><br>
I tried cutting but it wasn't painful enough; for me it was more satisfying to scratch and gouge my skin until it bled, or to burn myself with a cigarette lighter. In some ways it was no doubt a cry for attention, but it was also very soothing. I've heard it releases something like endorphins, which makes it slightly addictive. When I was done I felt like I had destroyed the bad thing inside.<br><br><br><br>
I have a lot of self-hatred that I'm still working on.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by Vegankat</i><br><br><b>I practice self-harm without intending to cause myself serious injury. It just seems like the only thing that can bring me back to reality when I'm having severe anxiety or distress of any form is to create enough pain to make me remember who and what I am; for example, I'll stab myself in the thighs with a pen, hit myself in the head, cut my hands and arms (not any major arteries, mind, and not even that deep), chew my lips into shreds, pull at my hair, etc. I guess this doesn't quite explain it properly, and I'm sure I look like a complete nutcase, but that's the best I can do.</b></div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
You state all this in a present-tense, matter-of-fact way, which worries me. Do you not feel this needs attention? Do you not want help to find a way beyond this behavior? I'd really like to know.
 

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This issue became very personal to me today. I had read this thread when it was first created and clicked out of it, because it made no sense to me. I've had a lot of pain and anger in my life, but I think my self esteem was always good enough that it never occurred to me to harm myself. I mean, I occasionally would lash out and punch things like walls, steering wheels, and the like--and these things <i>did</i> hurt--but I could never contemplate harming myself intentionally, and could never direct my anger at another person physically.<br><br><br><br>
BUT, today I learned that a second cousin of mine--my absolute favorite family member other than my little brother--has been hospitalized for about a month due to self-mutilation. She's so bright, and sweet, and probably had (has) more potential than nearly every single one of my other 2nd cousins (i.e., my cousins' children, the rest of whom are mostly bone-headed redneck kids, which I say in the most loving way possible). This scares me, and I feel so bad for her. I was shocked at the depth of my own reaction upon learning the news. It made me so tremendously sad. My heart became so heavy. I was at work when I found out, and it was all I could do to stop the initial flow of tears before someone saw and started asking what was wrong.<br><br><br><br>
The part that makes me angry is that her mother kept the news from her father (my cousin) for a month, so we're only just now finding out that she was hospitalized.<br><br><br><br>
This thread hasn't made me feel much better about the whole thing, to be honest. I thought reading through here might give me some hope, but now I'm even more afraid for her.
 

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I'm sorry to hear about your second cousin epski <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":("><br><br>
If it is any consolation people do stop self harming. It is possible, and there is a lot more help available for people.<br><br>
From my experience, the main problem is actually wanting to stop. I'm not saying people actively seek out ways of harming themselves because they get, say a thrill. But it's an obession, an addiction if you like.<br><br>
Just like smoking, just like hard drugs, alcoholism, bingeing, starving yourself etc. You can be perfectly aware of the damage it does, and you can detest it - but it can take a lot of time and support to actually make the decision to try and alter your life.<br><br>
However, I haven't harmed myself for a very long time now. In fact, it is only on rare occaisions that I think about it. So, I really do believe it is something that can be beaten.<br><br>
I know it is really tough when someone you care about does things like this. I'm sorry.<br><br><br><br>
p.s For me, admittedly some of it was a self esteem issue that I was ill equipped to cope with. But looking back I just had no concept of how to talk about what I was feeling, or how to channel anger, sadness into harmless activities. So there can often be a mixture of causes for something like this.
 

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Any of you see <i>Secretary</i>?<br><br><br><br>
I remember Maggie Gyllenhaal's character coming home from the hospital and going back to harming herself pretty quickly. I have these images in my mind, and they frighten me.
 

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I used to cut myself all the time. Thankfully I haven't done that in a few years, although its still something I battle with on occasion.<br><br><br><br>
For me it was a way to take all the anger and powerlessness I was feeling and have a way to "control" it--I could hurt myself, and I could STOP hurting myself. The pain would heal (unlike the pain inside). Like many disorders, its usually a control issue--a way to stop feeling helpless and powerless. A place to channel the hurt & rage when its got nowhere else to go.<br><br><br><br>
People who self-harm often go to very extreme lengths to HIDE it--they certainly aren't doing it to get "attention". Nor is it an attempt at suicide--in fact its just the opposite. The person cuts to AVOID suicide. It's an alternate option.<br><br><br><br>
The girl is not a psycho, but she does need help because she is obviously in pain. Perhaps you could ask the teacher if he/she has noticed the scarring on the student's arms. Don't just ignore it.<br><br><br><br>
And yer friend sounds like a bit of knucklehead.<br><br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/wink3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=";)">
 
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