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A very wealthy 85 year old man marries a lovely 28 year old woman. Because her new husband is so old, the woman decides that on their wedding night they should have seperate suites so that the old fellow not over exert himself.

After the wedding festivities she prepares herself for bed and for the knock on the door she is expecting. Sure enough the knock comes and there is her groom ready for action. They unite in conjugal union and all goes well whereupon he takes his leave of her and she prepares to go to sleep for the night.

After a few minutes there's a knock on the door and there the old guy is again ready for more action. Somewhat surprised, she consents to further coupling which is again succesful after which the octogenarian bids her a fond good night and leaves.

She is certainly ready for slumber at this point and is close to sleep for the second time when there is another knock at the door and there he is again fresh as a 25 year old, and ready for more. As they are laying in afterglow the young bride turns to him and adoringly tells him:

"I am really impressed that a man your age has the ability to go for it three times in one night!! I've been with guys less than half your age who were only good for one".

The old guy looks puzzled and turns to her and says : "Was I already here?????"
 

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Umm.. heh.

Three strings walk into a bar and one of them tries to order a drink. The bartender says to them, "Hey! We don't serve strings here!" So they go on back towards the entrance. One of the strings twists himself into a knot then frays the end.

He walks back up to the bar and the bartender asks, "You aren't one of those strings are you?" The string says, "No. I'm afraid not."

(this joke works better when it's said out loud.)
 
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