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Discussion Starter #1
Tell me: Should I be insulted?<br><br><br><br>
I was over for dinner at Trevor's mom's place, and her boyfriend was there. He KNOWS I'm a strict veg*an.<br><br><br><br>
After dinner he had been doing some dishes, and called me in from the other room (while Trevor installed something on his mom's computer) in this exasperated voice (like: "You're so rude not to be in here helping, ungrateful child") to help with the dishes.<br><br><br><br>
I walk in, he picks up the pan SWIMMING in chicken fat and gristle, and goes: "HERE. Clean this!"<br><br><br><br>
I just sort of looked at it, and let out a squeaky: "uhhh."<br><br><br><br>
Him: "What? You don't want to touch it??"<br><br><br><br>
Me, not wanting to be rude and refuse to help, but very grossed out: "Uhh, well, I haven't in 3 years..."<br><br><br><br>
Him: (Rolls his eyes) "FINE. Here." Tries to hand me the chicken-fat-dripping foil from off of the pan.<br><br><br><br>
Me: "Uhhh."<br><br><br><br>
Him: "What, are you HINDU??" (This in front of the brother's girlfriend, who I'm sure has Hindu parents...)<br><br><br><br>
In the end he huffed and washed them and I offered to dry and put everything else away.<br><br><br><br>
BUt is it just me, or is that REALLY RUDE?<br><br><br><br>
Before TRev even foudn out about that he was getting totally fed up with him cutting me off in mid-sentence ALL NIGHT LONG.<br><br><br><br>
And as we were watching TV he walked in (3 different times) and turned the channel from what we were watching to what HE wanted to watch... (The third time, after we glared at him: "Oh don't worry, I'm just looking to see what else is on." -YEAH, we KNOW. And it's RUDE.)<br><br><br><br>
So, should I be insulted?? I think so. I think that was very rude of him, considering he KNOWS I'm a vegetarian. He's known for months. We even talked about it at dinner.<br><br><br><br>
I have decided not to have dinner with them again for a long while because of this recent behaviour, but I feel a bit mean about it. But I CAN't STAND being treated like that!!
 

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You have every right to feel pissed. This guy is just rude. he needs a healthy helping of go f**k yourself if you ask me.<br><br><br><br>
[edit]oops, I thought the censor would get that <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">[/edit]
 

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If it weren't for the context that he sounds like an overall a**hole, I would say maybe he didn't realise, but I vote that he is a jerk overall and to interpret his acts negatively at will.<br><br>
Avoid him.
 

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Steer clear when you can, but you probably won't be able to shut him out entirely.<br><br><br><br>
I'd like to know if my sisters really have a gripe that tonight I didn't wash out the greasy, meaty grill thing that my mom cooked my family's venison steaks on. I set it to soak it the sink, but I don't honestly want to touch it more than that. All the other kitchen cleanup I did, but that one thing I would rather just be left to them.
 

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Was this guy rude? Yes.<br><br><br><br>
Should you feel insulted? That's a harder one to answer. I guess I would say that if you can choose not to feel insulted, then perhaps you should do so for two reasons. One would be your own peace of mind--this guy is not worth being concerned about. Second, if rudeness begets more rudeness and hurt feelings, and so on, then we will all be drowning in nothing but rudeness, in an ever-escalating cycle. Detachment would be a better response, if possible.<br><br><br><br>
Since this guy is Trevor's Mom's boyfriend, then maybe you should talk with Trevor about this guy's behavior and how you felt about it.<br><br><br><br>
Just my two cents.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Trevor told his mom about it, and said he was upset by it, and she responded rather neutrally, but did admit things could have been worse if Wasserface had been insulted by the Hindu comment. Then, to make herself feel better, said it was my fault he interrupted me all night, because I talk too much.<br><br><br><br><br><br>
PPPPlllllllllttttttttttt.<br><br><br><br>
I do talk too much at that house sometimes, but largely because I'm so uncomfortable there and don't know what else to do.<br><br>
(Trev's mom is about as thick as a post, and thus not a great conversationalist...)<br><br><br><br>
I've decided not to go back for quite some time, and when I do to not eat, and say as little as possible without being rude.
 

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Eeeps, sorry to hear about that, Avalon. Typically, I'm a pretty straight-forward person in situations like this. After things had settled, I would have approached Mr. ******* and simply relayed my discomfort, etc. HOWEVER, I think that would have been a fruitless venture for that guy. Might I suggest passive-aggressive vindication? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/wink3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=";)"> Seriously, it won't make the situation any better, but DAMN, it'll make you feel good.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
Yeah, like making him clean the tofu pan... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/wink3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=";)"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D"><br><br><br><br>
They have invited us over for dinner Saturday night to 'clear the air'. I have told Trev I will not be going.<br><br><br><br>
I'm not gonna stoop to being rude, as they were, but I just don't have the patience for their crap yet. I accept that I need to revise certain things about myself, (i.e.: remember to shut up more when I'm nervous), but I will not sit through another dinner with them while they refuse to accept any of their own faults, just to make them feel better.<br><br><br><br>
I won't take it all on me.<br><br><br><br>
Maybe in a month or two I'll have dinner over there again, but not now.
 

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good strategy. he was ruder than rude. but so often really rude folk don't respond too well to being called on their bs. so, i say skate in your own rink for the time being.
 

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definately rude, and inconsiderate. at the time you could've explained that you'd be uncomfortable, or just said "uhh how bout you wash i dry!" etc but that doesn't help now.<br><br>
if avoiding him will make problems for you and Trev, or him and his mom and whatshisface, i'd say just grin and bear it but if he oversteps that line again tell him to back off.
 

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I can't stand ignorant people like that, I think you're right to stand your ground. Families can so often be the nastiest bit of a relationship.
 

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At your age there are way better things to do on a saturday night than watch old folks eat corpse. If you eat with them again make it a monday night or something. I don't even wash my husband's dirty meat pans up, if he doesn't do it quickish, I chuck them out in the garden. If that knobhead had done that to me I'd have put the pan back in the oven and closed the door when he wasn't looking. They eat ****, why bother washing it out anyway.<br><br>
Ugh. Why is he so nasty? Jealous, insecure, greedy... some reason behind it all above you being a veggie.
 

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Discussion Starter #19
Yep, well: I figure there are some times when avoidance IS the best policy, and this is one of them. There are too many hurt feelings when family, and especially 'boyfriend/girlfriends" are involved.<br><br><br><br>
And, LF, I did actually say "How about I dry?" ... and that's when he handed me the dripping aluminium foil and made fun of me. Yeuch.<br><br><br><br>
I ended up putting away and clearing off and covering the remainder of the night's food...<br><br><br><br>
But still, I suppose that was unacceptable of me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":rolleyes:"><br><br><br><br>
He knows I'm pissed about it though.<br><br>
He came over to get something 2 days ago and I stayed upstairs while he was here. Plus we skipped out on their supper and went to see my family instead this weekend.
 
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