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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
i'm curious as to your thoughts about long term relationships and differences in religion. are these really compatible? let's consider myself (agnostic). if i were to hook up with a christian girl, wouldn't she be sitting around worrying that i'd be going to hell? wouldn't she be hoping and praying for my soul, so that i'd "see the light"? would i want someone who i think literally believes in a fairy tale? i do respect the social function of the church. but to hold this up as literal truth? the more i examine this the more unworkable it seems to become.

can this really be reconciled, or would both of you be settling for less? how important is this in a relationship? thoughts?
 

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People in a relationship need mutual respect, regardless of their personal convictions, not to subjugate one another. I know plenty of people who clash religiously but are wonderful in a relationship, and vice versa.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
i would think it's more important to an atheist than someone who is religious. the religious person would hope the atheist would "see the light", in a naive way, while the atheist would be jaded and think it was hopeless that the religious person would ever come to their senses.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by papayamon View Post

i would think it's more important to an atheist than someone who is religious. the religious person would hope the atheist would "see the light", in a naive way, while the atheist would be jaded and think it was hopeless that the religious person would ever come to their senses.
Both would be excessively ignorant and fail to see the benefits to the other person's views, the relationship would be doomed anyway. Mutual respect, however, rather than contemptuous one-upmanship, would actually provide a real relationship.
 

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I wouldn't date anyone who wasn't atheist/agnostic. I have dated christians in the past, but it was hell listening to all the whining when I would listen to Black Sabbath.
 

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i'd say it depends on how each would want to interact with their partner. would important activities require religion or its absence? both partners should be able to respect the other's view without trivialising it or being condescending
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
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Originally Posted by Kappa View Post

Both would be excessively ignorant and fail to see the benefits to the other person's views, the relationship would be doomed anyway. Mutual respect, however, rather than contemptuous one-upmanship, would actually provide a real relationship.
i don't see how there would necessarily be an atmosphere of "one-upmanship" for this to create serious issues. wouldn't the believing xian think their spouse would be doomed to hell for all eternity, and they'd be in heaven without their spouse?
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
let's say you had people with 2 different religions such as jewish and christian. both of them could "loosen the strings" a bit and say, ok, my partner believes in god, etc. but an athiest/agnostic gives very little ground for compromise. in my relationships, i'll have to say that god has been a big issue and a huge turn off.
 

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I wouldn't mind dating someone who believed in a god, but if they believe everything in the bible, then no...*shudders*
I consider myself Taoist/agnostic. Everyone has their own take on religion, or lack of it, and I have no more right to say what's right than they do.

Now Atheists...not sure I could date one of them, if by atheist, you mean someone who outright denies the existence of a god/higher power. That's just as naive as professing the existence of one, while not being open to the idea that there isn't a god, or that there are others.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
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Originally Posted by obankobi View Post

I wouldn't mind dating someone who believed in a god, but if they believe everything in the bible, then no...*shudders*
I consider myself Taoist/agnostic. Everyone has their own take on religion, or lack of it, and I have no more right to say what's right than they do.

Now Atheists...not sure I could date one of them, if by atheist, you mean someone who outright denies the existence of a god/higher power. That's just as naive as professing the existence of one, while not being open to the idea that there isn't a god, or that there are others.
it would be easier for me with an atheist, because they aren't usually hopping up and down about it. there's no body of dogma to be preached, no bible.... just a denial. while i might not agree with the atheist, per se, unless they were obsessed with athiesm, then there would just be a "benign neglect" of religion. a christian, on the other hand, would be praying for my soul, etc. and if she went to church, there's a whole social institution she's interacting with, and you'd be looked down on as an "unsaved spouse".
 

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I think it is a little naive to think that because someone is a member of Church X that he or she actually believes (or even understands) the teachings of Church X.

For example, Roman Catholics in the U.S. practice birth control in about the same percentages as non-Catholics.

Yes, there are religious fanatics who do believe everything to the letter. But then there are many more people who don't.

For many people, their churches are pretty much like social clubs. Religious dogma is way down the list in terms of importance.

It depends much more on the individual person than on what church they belong to.
 

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There's an old saying that you should never discuss religion or politics. I always make a point of mentioning both on first dates, because if I disagree too much with someone on those two things, then there's no way we can possibly be compatible for a long term relationship.

In my case, I don't really care what religion someone is, as long as religion isn't an important part of their life. I was born to a barely religious Jewish family, but I'm pretty much an atheist now. I once had a first date with a very religious Jewish woman who was looking for a Jewish guy, and it was obvious that I wasn't religious enough for her, and she was too religious for me. On the other hand, I could be compatible with a Christian who just celebrates on holidays, isn't a regular church goer, and doesn't care about my religious beliefs.

--Fromper
 

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I was Christian when I started dating my current SO... We never talked about it, but I gradually turned into an agnostic/atheist just from being around him. Of course, I'm bipolar and change religions/lack thereof three times a year. :p
 

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My parents (happily married) agreed a long time ago not to discuss religion. My father is Christian while my mother is hard-core atheist, so those types of conversations never lead to any place good for them.

As for me, I believe in some cosmic thread that links everything. But I don't believe there's some dude up there, putting a black mark next to my name when I masturbate or laugh at South Park. My man is pretty much on that same page with me; he doesn't need an imaginary friend, either. We don't subscribe to organized religion.

But we don't get up in people's faces about our non-beliefs. If people think long and hard and decide they have faith, that's cool. As long as they DO think.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by papayamon View Post

it would be easier for me with an atheist, because they aren't usually hopping up and down about it. there's no body of dogma to be preached, no bible.... just a denial. while i might not agree with the atheist, per se, unless they were obsessed with athiesm, then there would just be a "benign neglect" of religion. a christian, on the other hand, would be praying for my soul, etc. and if she went to church, there's a whole social institution she's interacting with, and you'd be looked down on as an "unsaved spouse".
Hm, I see your point. Didn't really think of the "praying for my soul" part. I also completely forgot that people go to church, heh...I guess I would actually be more comfortable with an atheist then.

I actually used to be a christian, until I read the Bible, rather than carefully selected verses. I guess I did pray for people to "find god". :/
 

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I would find it very difficult to date anyone who was heavily religious. It would be almost impossible for me to resist bringing it up, and it would always be this sort of cloud looming over me. Note that I have no problem dating someone who is a 2 or 3 on the Dawkins scale. Anyone who is a 1 is lacking sufficient skepticism.
 

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It depends on the kind of Christian you are talking about. I'm a Christian and have dated all kinds of people. I've never done the whole "praying for someone else's soul" bit. I would say that it is as important as it is to each individual.

ETA: I'm probably a 2.5 on Dawkin's scale.
 

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I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who believes in God and believes that you will go to hell if you don't so believe - it creates too big of a gulf. I didn't tell either of my parents when I decided, quite early, that the entire concept of the God on which they believed didn't make sense to me; it would have distressed them and done no good.

Likewise, I would not be in a relationship with an omni or someone very conservative politically. To me, there has to be some ability for minds to meet in order for a relationship to be worthwhile.
 

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i could date someone who believes in God, but couldn't with someone who is strictly religious. he couldn't date me either. my worldviews would be offensive to him, my life is full of sin and i would not go to church on sunday because i feel hungover
 
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