VeggieBoards banner
1 - 20 of 324 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,049 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
use this topic to post the things you'd like to say to people who piss you off, but can't in the name of good etiquette or are just too chicken**** to. i'll go first.<br><br><br><br>
dear angela,<br><br><br><br>
yes, of course i remember you. our husbands work at the same job and both have an interest in martial arts. you even attended our daughter's first birthday party, and we attended your daughter's first birthday party, back in the summer. you originally hail from nova scotia; your accent is fading, but adorable nonetheless.<br><br><br><br>
when you phoned me today i thought for certain you were going to invite my daughter and i over for a play date at your house. you see, we are lonely here in this predominately rightwing suburb; and it makes sense that even though there are obvious differences between our personalities and even a big enough age difference that you're into steely dan and i'm into radiohead, that we could probably work it out, get over it, and find common ground. couldn't we? yes, yes! i thought so, too.<br><br><br><br>
so, why, oh why, dear angela, with all this potential, with all this possibility, would you choose to put me on the line with a third party, a smarmy sounding one at that, and trick me? why would you trick me? why would you ruin what could be a perfectly good friendship by putting me on the line with a woman i've never met, and who lies! ohhhh how she lies!!!<br><br><br><br>
so, let me be perfectly clear. no, i do not want to become involved in your cheesy pyramid scheme. no, i do not want to invite you both over for coffee for 45 minutes to look at your product line. no. no. no. yes, i care for the environment. that's why i use vinegar and baking soda to clean my house and refuse to eat cheese. no, i don't want to make "extra money" JUST LIKE YOU. not if it means i have to jeopardize every friendship and potential friendship i have in my life (all of which are precious to me) to do it. i'd rather sell crack. or put up naked pictures of myself on the internet. yes, i would. does that shock you, angela queen of amway? good.<br><br><br><br>
smell ya later, angela. smell ya later FOREVER.<br><br><br><br>
~kreeli
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,755 Posts
There is this student in my class who is always late. The school policy is that when kids are late they MUST go to the office to get a late slip. Well, this particular kid's mother doesnt like walking her daughter to the office (only maybe 30 steps farther). The mother will come in & argue w/me that her daughter is not late., or say, "but shes only 2 mins late" & its like 8:20 when school starts at 8. One time she actually argued w/me about what time school starts. Yesterday morning she interrupted my class while I was teaching to yell at me from the doorway about whether or not her daughter has to stay in at recess. She didnt stop after I gave her an answer so I followed school policy by telling her that I'm teaching a class right now & cannot talk to her. She then yelled "but I asked a question!" What a *****!<br><br>
Thanks, Kreeli, for giving me a place to vent!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,119 Posts
<b><span style="text-decoration:underline;">Ode to Psychobell:</span></b><br><br><br><br>
O foul woman who stalketh my boyfriend and threateneth to kick mine ass,<br><br>
how thou art pathetic and awful and smelleth like Mackerel!<br><br>
Begone with thy wretched Ford wagon,<br><br>
and may it never again be seen stabling near my Golf,<br><br>
of which ye came near to smashing verily in days recently passed.<br><br><br><br>
Whine all thou wishest about never calling again,<br><br>
In a last ditch attempt for attention.<br><br>
I shall believe it whence I see it.<br><br>
Thou sayest thou shalt lay off until I am no longer sweetheart to my lord?<br><br>
So as not to anger him eternally against ye, and retain a chance of getting into his britches?<br><br>
And thereupon thou mutterest that thou shalt pounce upon him like the tiger upon the mouse.<br><br><br><br>
Good luck, you stank French ****.<br><br>
Trevor is interested not in barnyard copulation.<br><br>
When hell freezeth over, and Trevor recieveth a brain transplant and oculo-ectomey,<br><br>
then might thou vanquish him, and succeed at thy quest.<br><br>
In the meanwhile, the gauntlet be yet thrown down.<br><br><br><br>
I hope thou planest to outlive me,<br><br>
cause I got yo numbah, ya nasty, ugly, pepper-ass *****.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,612 Posts
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by Avalon</i><br><br><b>Good luck, you stank French ****.</b></div>
</div>
<br><img alt="" src="http://64.207.13.28/mysmilies/otn/laughing/yelrotflmao.gif" style="border:0px solid;"><b>BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!</b> <img alt="" src="http://64.207.13.28/mysmilies/otn/laughing/yelrotflmao.gif" style="border:0px solid;"><br><br><br><br>
That's freaking halarious!!! I had no idea Shakespeare could be so much fun!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,691 Posts
lol you should publish that!<br><br><br><br>
to the guy i don't know who sends me minimum 4 jokes per day to my email, because he knows my mom online: leave me alone!! this guy even added me to his msn list and asked me who wears the pants in my household because i said something about not being able to make major decisions like bringing home a new pet, without consulting the others who live here. get a life dude.<br><br><br><br>
to my roommate, i'm glad you have a new girlfriend but do you have to be on the phone from 6pm til 11pm which is the only time we can call home to our parents? use your cellphone. or, go over to her house.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by Max Power</i><br><br><b>Dear fat kid who gets schooled at open gym every time I'm there,</b></div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
Holy ****ite! ,man you just got Kreeli on your ass untill the day you retire your veggieboards hat my brother. Dont worry though, Ill still be your friend.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,691 Posts
yeah Robert i thought of that, but when he catches me online he asks if i got them and if i liked them and stuff. i might block them and just lie but then if he sends me an actual email, like about something relevent, i'll miss it. not that i think he would.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
15,684 Posts
Just go away, both Mr. Boss Mans... just go away. We did just fine without both of you, Mr Manager, when you were on vacation, and we did better in our psychological and emotional healths, too. Just sell the store already, Mr Owner! Go to some remote island where you can sexually harrass palm trees or something like that, and leave us alone. Just go away, Mr Boss Mans.... just go away.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,192 Posts
LF: ahhh, ok, gotcha. You might just wanna tell him to stop forwarding you stuff. I dunno about Outlook cause I refuse to use it... but in Eudora.. you "could" set a filter as follows:<br><br><br><br>
FROM contains <his address><br><br>
AND<br><br>
Subject contains "Fwd"<br><br><br><br>
Most jokes are "forwarded" to people's address lists. I hate the ones that send me a bunch of impersonal stuff to "recipients' list suppressed" so I just auto trash anything like that as well.<br><br><br><br>
Michael, did you get the email I sent you? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,691 Posts
heh. had a good opening too and i blew it. he asked if any of the jokes offended me. i said no, cause i haven't read any lol, and he said if any of them offend me to let him know and he'll stop sending them. d'oh<br><br><br><br>
to my cat: for the love of cattle stop chewing everything resembling a lace or string! you've chewed the ends off my shoelaces, my roommate's bootlaces, the cord that ties the fly on 2, TWO pairs of my BRAND NEW pants, and, aaaaaand now, tonight, the lace on my new lace-up top. give it a frickin rest already!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
15,684 Posts
Ahh, the Ball O' String fixation.
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
19,873 Posts
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Michael, did you get the email I sent you?</div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
I've been so busy, I'll have to look at it later (and hope that you forget about it since I already deleted it). <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,049 Posts
Discussion Starter · #16 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by WyldFyre</i><br><br><b>Holy ****ite! ,man you just got Kreeli on your ass untill the day you retire your veggieboards hat my brother. Dont worry though, Ill still be your friend.</b></div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
mmmmmm. max's ass. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/drool.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":drool:"><br><br><br><br>
it ain't that i mind someone being called "fat", if they are.<br><br><br><br>
it's the mocking and stereotyping that gets me het up.<br><br><br><br>
dear fat-people-haters,<br><br><br><br>
they say inside every fat woman is a thin woman crying to get out...but i ate that *****!<br><br><br><br>
love,<br><br><br><br>
kreeli
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,691 Posts
they're good with mustard i'm told.<br><br><br><br>
what is it with guys that they don't know how to straighten the bedsheets before they get in? so then when you get in you have too much of one blanket, none of the other blanket, and just a teeny corner of sheet. usually the wrong corner. but by then the guy's sleeping with the blankets tucked under his arse so you can't pull any free to fix the mess. i better go to bed before he falls asleep so i don't freeze to death tonight.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
478 Posts
Oh, how i love to rant somtimes! heh heh...<br><br><br><br>
No I am not interested in seeing your webcam, looking at naked pictures of barely legal teens or beastiality porn. I'm also not interseted in dating hundreds of sexy women living in my area.<br><br>
I absolutely do not want my breasts enlarged, nor my penis if i even had one, nor do i want to do anything that would cause my metaphorical penis to stay erect for obscene amounts of time.<br><br>
I don't want your free software, your spycams to spy on my neighbors, your inkjet cartridge refills, your home loans, MLM scams, credit cards, auto insurance, and whatever else you want to sell me.<br><br>
I am not going to trust a pop-up blocker advertised to me through spam.<br><br>
Even if it weren't extremely unhealthy to do so, I don't want to beable to lose 10 lbs in a weekend with your magic pill, drink, or diet program.<br><br>
I have no interest in doing any sort of gambling, so promising me free money to start gambling at your online casino won't buy me in.<br><br>
Promises of free merchandise, special sales open only to me, contests and what not will not fool me into opening your ****. Neither will filling the 'from' and subject feilds with gibberish some how make me think that you've written me an email worthwhile reading. Sticking "Re:" on the front of the subject line isn't going to trick me either.<br><br>
I don't have any sort of morgtages or student loans to pay off. I am not in debt PERIOD!<br><br>
I am only interested in finding real, honest jobs, not the "earn thousands from selling on ebay!!!!!!" or any other work at home job scam you have in mind for me.<br><br>
Sure, offering ways to help people stop smoking is a good thing. Spamming people with those offers, especially non-smokers such as myself is not.<br><br>
I am psychic enough myself to forsee that your "free" psychic reading is just a scam.<br><br>
I do not need to take your phony IQ test to know that i am smart enough not to open your spam.<br><br><br><br>
Sometimes I sincerely wish there was a death penalty for spammers... after some good ol' fashioned medieval chinese torture first, of course.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,192 Posts
ObsidianZebra: LOL.... you know something... there is this tech site online (with a ****load of users) called Slashdot. Anyway... many of the people there are sys admins for web servers and have to fight spammers all day long. There is this one infamous spammer named Alan Ralsky.... this guy is a MAJOR spammer. Some of the guys over at slashdot checked real estate records etc to find out his exact mailing address and apparently subscribed him to just everything they could fine.<br><br><br><br>
Last I heard he was getting anythng and everything (junk mail) delivered to his house and is, if you can believe this, complaining that he is being harassed by junk mailers. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br><br><br>
Payback's a *****, huh.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,049 Posts
Discussion Starter · #20 ·
well, to be honest, i decided after my last experience of calling someone on their fat prejudice that it's just too ****in' tiring and to do my best to ignore it on here.<br><br><br><br>
it's rampant in my real life, so why should i expect things to be any different online?<br><br><br><br>
i was just a chubby old ship look for a safe harbour...<br><br><br><br>
but VB obviously isn't it.<br><br><br><br>
it may be that one day it'll finally get to me and i'll say "enough" and move on in search of another port, but until then, i'll just be over here in the corner, kicking the cat.<br><br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D">
 
1 - 20 of 324 Posts
Top