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1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.<br><br><br><br>
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor...<br><br><br><br>
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.<br><br><br><br>
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?<br><br><br><br>
5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.<br><br><br><br>
6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.<br><br><br><br>
7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?<br><br><br><br>
8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?<br><br><br><br>
9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?<br><br><br><br>
10. Is there another word for synonym?<br><br><br><br>
11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"<br><br><br><br>
12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?<br><br><br><br>
13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?<br><br><br><br>
14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?<br><br><br><br>
15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?<br><br><br><br>
16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?<br><br><br><br>
17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?<br><br><br><br>
18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?<br><br><br><br>
19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?<br><br><br><br>
20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road<br><br>
signs?<br><br><br><br>
21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?<br><br><br><br>
22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.<br><br><br><br>
23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?<br><br><br><br>
24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?<br><br><br><br>
25. How is it possible to have a civil war?<br><br><br><br>
26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?<br><br><br><br>
27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?<br><br><br><br>
28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?<br><br><br><br>
29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have "S" in it?<br><br><br><br>
30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?<br><br><br><br>
31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?<br><br><br><br>
32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
 

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Buddha hasn'e been calling you for a while Ma? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D">
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>mouse</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br><br><br><br>
29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have "S" in it?<br><br><br></div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
I've wondered this, too! It seems so cruel!
 

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Why is abbreviation such a long word?
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>skylark</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Why is abbreviation such a long word?</div>
</div>
<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/laugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":lol:">
 

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Hehe, these are very funny <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/laugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":lol:"> Thanks Mouse! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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Discussion Starter #8
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>freemouse</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Buddha hasn'e been calling you for a while Ma? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D"></div>
</div>
<br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/moonpie.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":moonpie:"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D"> Ha! Funny mouse...I've always wondered about #19 though..
 

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One good turn deserves another....Have a great weekend, everyone!<br><br><br><br>
1. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars<br><br>
in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet<br><br>
paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?<br><br><br><br><br><br>
2. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?<br><br><br><br>
3. Why do they swab your arm with alcohol before you get a lethal injection?<br><br><br><br>
4. If a fly lands on the ceiling, did it fly upside down to get there?<br><br><br><br>
5. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze<br><br>
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?<br><br><br><br>
6. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?<br><br><br><br>
7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are<br><br>
going to look up there anyway?<br><br><br><br>
8. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
 
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