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question for you moms out there..

1589 Views 10 Replies 9 Participants Last post by  zoebird
I am NOT pregnant by any means of the word, but for my own personal future reference, when I decide that it is time for me to be a mommy, I want to have this stuff thought out..

when you created a birth plan with your doctor, did your doctor follow it? IE: if i say "NO EPESIOTOMY" will my doctor follow it? What steps did you take to make sure they followed it?

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I suggest the look "Birthing From Within". Seriously, look it up! It is at some libraries too. You need to be as informed as possible, communicate your needs t everyone and have as many advocates as possible. I highly recommend a Doula.

I am a Doula and can tell you that some doctors will respect your wishes and others will not. I also suggest you go into it with an open plan, meaning that you have a plan but realize that you may have to throw any or all of it out, need be.
I didn't write out an actual birth plan, but I did talk with my doctor about what specifically I wanted. And despite the fact that she didn't agree with the things I wanted, she went out of her way to help me have them. As to the episiotomy *shudder*, I absolutely did not want one, and told her that even if she thought I was going to tear to leave it - NO CUT. She thought that was crazy, told me that 90% of new moms need one (riiight), but in the moment, she used massage, warm compresses, mother controlled pushing ( which she doesn't even really believe in), and everything else she could do to avoid any tearing. And it all went beautifully. I needed one superficial stitch in the end, and even that, she spent a few minutes fully analyzing to make sure I actually needed it. I was quite pleasantly surprised.
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I wrote "no episiotomy" on my birth plans and didn't have one with either child. I did have some superficial tearing though that required a few stitches.

Honestly, though - hospitals kind of have their procedures in place for delivering babies. I was frustrated that the nurses kept coming in to bathe the baby, take more blood, etc until about 2:00 am (Ben was born at 10:00 pm) before they FINALLY left us alone to go to sleep. Upon reviewing the hospital's materials when I got home, I saw that they have a schedule for the first 4 hours after a baby's birth.

If you don't want to be stuck in this rigid formula, and don't want to be butting heads with every doctor and nurse - I would suggest a free-standing birth center. In larger cities, you can often find birth centers located nearby major hospitals, so that you do have that backup plan in case anything goes wrong. If we ever have another baby, that's our plan.
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I had a birth plan, I wanted to spend as much time in the tub/shower, I wanted the lights dimmed, etc. I ended up needing an emergency c-section after pushing & forceps, I was in too far of labour to have anything off my plan.

As for birth plans, you're best talking to your doctor before hand, some hospitals will not allow water births and a few other stuff due to safety, etc. I think that's your best bet and when the time comes, discuss your options.
I had a lot of preferences but they were overruled by a high risk pregnancy which didn't leave me a lot of choice. Chances are you won't have to deal with this, but keep it in mind... things do not always work out as you would like... Not trying to be negative here, just sharing my experience.
thanks for the advice,all. We're not engaged yet but moving in that direction and want kids in the next 6-7 years. I am figuring out what I want in a pg (ideal). A and I have been talking about the ideal, not so ideal, and worst case planning so that he would know my wishes before a baby came... he knows i don't want a c-section but we know it may be medically necessary.
I had an unassisted birth...(no medical professionals involved) but I did still write a birth plan which was more of an 'in case of me having to be transferred to hospital' type thing....

For a reference, this site has a fabulous birth plan you can change around to suit...

It really depends on your doctor. The reality is that your doctor will just be there to catch the baby. The nurses do all the work. Most of your birth plan will be directed toward the nurses. As for stuff like an episiotomy, that kind of stuff you want to discuss with your doctor on your FIRST visit. Some doctors could care less what your feelings are about being cut. They do it because it's easier for them.

My first experience with a birth plan was so-so. My second experience was totally different. The head nurse actually read through it with me. She then made sure every nurse that was attending my birth read it as well. Then, at each shift change, the incoming nurse was made aware of it. Now, I had my second kid at a different hospital. They said they rarely, if ever, get moommas coming in with birth plans. They were thrown for a loop, but really liked having it as a guide. has a very thorough birth plan outline that I used both times.
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thank you SO much. it may be something i discuss when i switch my gyn next fall. I want to start figuring this stuff out before a baby becomes a possibility or reality so that I know what I want ahead of time
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it really is something that depends upon the doctor, the hospital and it's policies, etc.

also, you might consider looking into things such as unassisted childbirth, homebirth with a midwife, birth centers with midwives, hospital birth centers with midwives, hospital birth with a midwife, and hospital births with doctors. very few doctors do homebirths, but it may also be an option.

also, you might be interested in doulas and what their job is.

i also like Birthing from Within and A Thinking Woman's Guide to Birth.
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