question for you moms out there..

I didn't write out an actual birth plan, but I did talk with my doctor about what specifically I wanted. And despite the fact that she didn't agree with the things I wanted, she went out of her way to help me have them. As to the episiotomy *shudder*, I absolutely did not want one, and told her that even if she thought I was going to tear to leave it - NO CUT. She thought that was crazy, told me that 90% of new moms need one (riiight), but in the moment, she used massage, warm compresses, mother controlled pushing ( which she doesn't even really believe in), and everything else she could do to avoid any tearing. And it all went beautifully. I needed one superficial stitch in the end, and even that, she spent a few minutes fully analyzing to make sure I actually needed it. I was quite pleasantly surprised.

I wrote "no episiotomy" on my birth plans and didn't have one with either child. I did have some superficial tearing though that required a few stitches.

Honestly, though - hospitals kind of have their procedures in place for delivering babies. I was frustrated that the nurses kept coming in to bathe the baby, take more blood, etc until about 2:00 am (Ben was born at 10:00 pm) before they FINALLY left us alone to go to sleep. Upon reviewing the hospital's materials when I got home, I saw that they have a schedule for the first 4 hours after a baby's birth.

If you don't want to be stuck in this rigid formula, and don't want to be butting heads with every doctor and nurse - I would suggest a free-standing birth center. In larger cities, you can often find birth centers located nearby major hospitals, so that you do have that backup plan in case anything goes wrong. If we ever have another baby, that's our plan.

It really depends on your doctor. The reality is that your doctor will just be there to catch the baby. The nurses do all the work. Most of your birth plan will be directed toward the nurses. As for stuff like an episiotomy, that kind of stuff you want to discuss with your doctor on your FIRST visit. Some doctors could care less what your feelings are about being cut. They do it because it's easier for them.

My first experience with a birth plan was so-so. My second experience was totally different. The head nurse actually read through it with me. She then made sure every nurse that was attending my birth read it as well. Then, at each shift change, the incoming nurse was made aware of it. Now, I had my second kid at a different hospital. They said they rarely, if ever, get moommas coming in with birth plans. They were thrown for a loop, but really liked having it as a guide.

earthmamaangelbaby.com has a very thorough birth plan outline that I used both times.