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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This may be a sensitive subject, so I asked another VBer what she thought about it as I do not want to offend anyone. She had no objection and was interested in seeing the topic discussed. Im hoping to get some good, respectful, serious discussion on this so that I might gain some insight on it.<br><br><br><br>
Ive been watching All My Children. There is a story line that I find very interesting and I was wondering if anyone has any input on whether or not it is something that could actually happen in real life, or if its just something the writers made up for ratings. This is how it goes:<br><br><br><br>
Bianca is a lesbian. Zarf is a rock star who is coming to terms with the fact that he is a transgender. He believes that he should have been born a woman. So he cross dresses and calls himself Zoe. Zoe is very attracted to Bianca and Bianca is starting to have feelings for Zoe. I think its pretty cool, but I dont know if its because Zoe has guy parts even though he/she dresses as a woman and Bianca is a woman. I dont know much about lesbian/gay relationships and I was wondering if this scenario is something that would actually happen in real life or if its something that was just made up for TV. Thats about it. Thanks.
 

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I'm not sure if any of my lesbian friends would want to have a relationship with someone who was physically male, but I do know that several of them went through bisexual periods before they decided they were lesbian. One of them lost her virginity to and almost married a man and only decided that she was not bisexual after they had a nasty break-up. She calls herself a lesbian now, but I could see her in a relationship with a transgendered person. OTOH, one of my friends has never had a relationship with a male and has strictly been attracted to females for her entire life. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't go for that.<br><br><br><br>
The scenario doesn't seem that far-fetched to me. It depends on the individual.
 

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Certainly this type of situation happens all the time for transgender persons.<br><br><br><br>
Forget about the fact that Zoe used to be a guy. Forget that she has a penis. The bottom line is that she is a woman, identifies as a woman, and lives as a woman. In pre-op transgender relationships you learn to ignore the physical contradictions and just think of the person they way they think of themselves. Bianca is not any less of a lesbian because she's dating a woman who happens to be transgender.
 

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I don't watch ABC soaps (I only watch DOOL, unfortuntely) but I've heard that AMC is not pulling that off very well. lol<br><br><br><br>
Actually though, that situation happens often in real life and many times within the context of an established relationship. For instance, I know a trans couple and this is what happened with them. A man and a woman fall in love and marry. They may or may not have children. The man, who may have been struggling with this his whole life, starts to come to terms with the fact that he feels he was born the wrong sex. He decides that he cannot go on with his life as a male anymore and starts to transform himself into a female. The wife, who loves her husband, may be upset or confused at first but decides that she loves the person she married, no matter what gender they are. They work together to adapt as a newly female/female couple and they stay married.<br><br><br><br>
That's just one scenario of course and there are many others. It doesn't always work out between a couple when one changes gender/sex. And then we have then scenario between those two characters where they are both single and then find each other. The lesbian, although knowing that this person was born a male and may still have male anatomy, may still be attracted to that person's inner self as their inner self is more aligned to the female gender in the first place.<br><br><br><br>
Then there's the fact that sexuality is never just black and white. Many people may associate themselves with a certain sexual preference but are able to become attracted to either sex without <i>always</i> being attracted to either sex (like in bisexuality).
 

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I haven't watched AMC in a while, but wasn't Bianca finding herself strangely attracted to Zarf before he revealed his other side to her? Not that it matters...<br><br><br><br>
Trans issues are confusing no matter how you slice it (no pun intended). It's never been something I could wrap my brain around, and I have friends who identify as Trannies. I've performed drag. I've studied and researched. But when it comes down to it, rational logical thinking won't give you any answers. It always comes down to the individual relationships, and the labels mean nothing.
 

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My friends Dad had a sex change, and still shares a room with their wife. I also know a couple where both married before and had children, and then have had a sex change, and married each other. Love is strange.
 

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I don't think it's any more complicated than a hetro person forming a relationship with a transgendered person and later finding out that they're the same gender, which often happens.<br><br>
My understanding is that it is considered polite to treat transgendered people as if they are the gender they identify with. I know after hurricane Katrina (and I'm sure other disasters) there was a big uproar in the gay/lesbian/transgendered community because transgendered people were being forced to use facilities for the gender they were born rather than the one they dressed and lived.<br><br><br><br><br><br>
Personally, if I were to discover Chance were really a woman (though it's a bit late for that, lol) I don't think I would feel any differently about him. If it's the right person for you, you get what you get and you run with it. I know things about him that rate way higher on the "thats not good" meter than him having the wrong genitals for me.
 

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Obviously I don't watch this soap since it's not on in this country.<br><br><br><br>
I don't think it's necessarily just made up for TV. The first thing I think of is that people label themselves (gay, straight, bi) based only on past experiences of attraction, because nobody can really say for sure who they will be attracted to in the future. So even if Zarf was a guy, it wouldn't mean that Bianca had been 'wrong' about herself up until then. It just means that there was an exception.<br><br>
But like Randy said, "Trans issues are confusing". They mess with how we normally label things. I guess we just have to accept that our labels weren't invented to categorise transgender relationships and they do a poor job of doing so.
 

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My guess would be that just about any scenario you could imagine exists somewhere. Love is love is love, and to me, anything else is secondary.
 

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Hmmm. I consider myself a lesbian. I'm attracted to women. I am not attracted to men. The only exception is my boyfriend. Who I live with. If that's not weird I don't know what is. Confuses the hell out of me. Honestly I think it's just about the person, not the equipment they have. If I found myself in love with someone who happens to have been born a different gender I don't think that would bother me.<br><br><br><br>
One of my friends found herself in this situation. She fell head over heals for an amazing guy. He was born a woman. Who cares, you know? Love is love.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Thanks to everyone for the input...I like the love is love is love explanation! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 
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